The problem with, "Would you like to?" for those of us who can't stand it isn't that it's a question, it's that it's not actually the question you're asking.
This. We just want you to ask the question you actually want the answer to.
I guess this is where I get confused, although tone of voice may play a role- I would find a command from my boss to be rather insulting. I speak to my staff like I would like to be treated. When I ask them "would you like to start the next appt?" that IS what I mean and what I am asking. They can answer no if they want to. If they do not want to start the next appt there probably is a reason. If they just plain hate their work so much that they just don't want to start the next appt, then I do not want them to do then next appt.
I guess you could argue that no one wants to do anything, but I guess I don't see that as true.
Aren't bosses supposed to tell you what to do, though? Aren't they there to give you direction?
No, because my license is mine and my bosses is hers. She owns the building and the business, but I make the decisions regarding my patients and my cases.
Similarly, my staff are the ones who keep things moving and draw my attention to what needs it next. So I am kind of asking them for direction if I feel the afternoon is getting off, as they generally have a plan for getting everything done. There are lots of ways to do it and while I could dictate what we do next, things often flow better if I let them handle that end of things. It is more of a working together thing than an ordering anyone around thing. It works for us.
She owns the building, so she
can tell you what to do. I think you're missing my point. While a boss may not explicitly say what to do, they are there to give direction even in mundane aspects. Your support staff may be able to give you direction as well in order to make things go more smoothly, but in the end, you, as the boss, have the say so. That doesn't mean you're "commanding" anything, either.
Ambiguous question: Would you like to do X?
Direction and/or request: (Would you) please do X.
Command: Do X now.
All three of those are completely different.