Author Topic: I need some help with a polite steel spine.  (Read 2581 times)

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Christabeldreams

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I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« on: September 18, 2012, 01:40:33 PM »
I have talked about the president of our local costume club, James in a previous thread.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=120638.0

Well, as it turns out, I am once again in need of Ehell’s help.
Our town has a lovely, very, very large park that’s great for get togethers. James organized a picnic for the costume club, and I donned my steampunk cosplay, made some sandwich quarters and showed up with my friend Kelly in tow.  After eating, we decided to walk around a little bit. I can’t remember why, but James ended up in a gazebo, and I ended up a few feet away with Kelly. A girl noticed my cosplay and came over with her friend to take a picture. We started chatting, and it turned out we’d gone to the same convention a few months ago! We just didn’t recognize each other because, hey, costumes will do that. James spots us talking and comes over and introduces himself. Fine, right?
Well, he ended up hijacking the conversation to talk about himself, the club, what cons he’s been to, etc. I tried several times to re-direct it, but after a bit, he would re-re-direct it back to himself. Once, he interrupted with, “Um, some more about me, I actually…” I think he was either trying to hit on these girls or get them to join the club, but whatever it was, it peeved me greatly to have him steal the conversation. What should I do if this happens again?

Eden

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2012, 01:47:11 PM »
You could say, "Thanks for providing the information about the club, James. Would you mind excusing us as we get back to our conversation?"

NyaChan

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2012, 02:21:19 PM »
I think he was trying to impress them and/or hit on them and very ineffectively at that.  I would probably excuse myself and let him have at it, or if I felt comfortable doing this without upsetting that person, "LOL ok James, we all know you are awesome, but let's put that topic on hold until the end of this conversation," and then go back to the other conversation.

AlansGirl

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2012, 02:24:50 PM »
Could you wait for him to wind down or pause for breath and say, "As I was saying..." and pick your conversation up right where it was before his interruption?  Or is he the type that doesn't ever wind down?

violinp

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2012, 02:25:15 PM »
You could say, "Thanks for providing the information about the club, James. Would you mind excusing us as we get back to our conversation?"

This exactly.
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WillyNilly

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2012, 02:53:52 PM »
Once, he interrupted with, “Um, some more about me, I actually…” I think he was either trying to hit on these girls or get them to join the club, but whatever it was, it peeved me greatly to have him steal the conversation. What should I do if this happens again?

Considering this was casual conversation among friends, I would have had a hard time not jumping in with a smile and doing a mocking voice of James "Um, some more about me, I actually am a terrible listener and much prefer to hear myself talk!"  And then laughed and asked my  companion a question, effectively cutting James off.

MsOverThinker

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2012, 03:10:05 PM »
I'm in the camp with the "ignore, pick up right where you left off."  I'm sure the person you were talking to would understand.

On another note -- cool with the steampunk in the park!  My local steampunk society does those kinds of picnic meetups sometimes and it always draws in a few interested parties passing by.  Very fun.

hobish

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Re: I need some help with a polite steel spine.
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2012, 06:16:47 PM »
Once, he interrupted with, “Um, some more about me, I actually…” I think he was either trying to hit on these girls or get them to join the club, but whatever it was, it peeved me greatly to have him steal the conversation. What should I do if this happens again?

Considering this was casual conversation among friends, I would have had a hard time not jumping in with a smile and doing a mocking voice of James "Um, some more about me, I actually am a terrible listener and much prefer to hear myself talk!"  And then laughed and asked my  companion a question, effectively cutting James off.

I am glad i am not the only one. It does sound like he was trying to hit on/impress these girls, but after someone says a line like that ... well, it wouldn't even be a fake laugh, that is hard to take seriously.  If he was really obnoxious and it is a pattern i might point it out later in a "Hey, people don't generally respond well when you do this..." kind of way, nicely.
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