The phrase in red just kills me.
I am a pianist, and was hired to do a wedding. The bride's mother arranged the date with me, and a fee of $100 was agreed upon (I was still a teenager, so didn't know what to charge.) When I got to the chapel, I started playing a half hour before the ceremony. People straggled in, most in jeans and T-shirts. I thought this was odd, but then people started passing around cans of coke and beers.(!)
Now, this was a university chapel, with a strange layout. The altar was at the front, with two large picture windows on either side. I may have never noticed the strange layout with the windows, had the groomsmen not run around the outside of the building and started mooning the congregation. To many hoots and hollers, there were a few butts presented, but then they left.
The mother of the bride was then ushered in, to many more hoots and hollers.
Enter the bridesmaids - including the disgruntled younger sister of the bride who dyed her hair fuschia to match her dress. And then proceeded to get a piercing that allowed a diaper-pin to go through her ear. Cans were still being passed around, but mercifully the ceremony was short.
When I received my pay, the mother of the bride (who had appeared mortified at the ceremony) wrote an apology letter for the behavior, and paid me double for the "inconvenience". I felt for that poor woman!