my cousin who is pregnant and due on my wedding date, etc).
I don't want to derail the thread, and maybe this should be a spin-off, but I would be devastated if I didn't receive an invite to my cousin's wedding just because my due date happened to fall on their wedding date. I may not be able to go, but to not be invited would hurt a lot.
This may be isolated to our family, but we send invitations to those who we want to be there, and let them decide if they can attend. It's more a "thinking of you, wishing you could join us, but know you probably can't" thing for us.
Oh I'm close to my cousin, we talked, we celebrated privately with her & her DH & young son and me and DF earlier in the summer, we've kept her in the loop etc - she's not left out. No I didn't send her an actual paper invite but that was due to us already celebrating and me knowing she is quite the environmentalist and would not want the paper wasted on her and all that kinda jazz.
Both she and I are really really upset she can't make it to the wedding, she is in no way being slighted.