Re: Noisy Neighbor is back . . . UPDATE #10

[jpcher]

BG: I posted about NN a few times, last being that her house burnt down and she left out her wind chime while she was living elsewhere. The only complaint I ever made to her about noise was about the wind chime through a note. endBG.

I never complained to her Land Lady (LL) about noise, but I have an inkling that Neighbor on the Other Side of her House (NOSH) did complain. NOSH and I are friendly enough to have a chit-chat when we see each other, but we are not friends.

Over the summer, NOSH stopped by my house while I was out front and told me that she had talked to LL, wondering when the renovations were going to be finished, etc. Then she rolled her eyes and said "Guess what. NN is moving back in. I was really hoping that LL found different renters . . ." Just then, the kids came home so I politely cut her off didn't get a chance to finish our conversation (plus I didn't really want to gossip about NN.)



When NN moved back in, about 2 weeks ago, it was late at night (I think the first truckload pulled in at 10:00 p.m.) on a weeknight. There was quite the ruckus, but understandable noise for a move-in. After a while (I wasn't watching the clock, just trying to get to sleep) I heard NN shout out very loudly proclaiming:

"WOO HOO! NOISY NEIGHBOR IS BACK!"

Yes. She used those exact words. Noisy Neighbor. I cringed and thought "Does she read e-hell? Does she know what I've nick-named her? Does she know that I've been complaining about her behind her back?"



Several days after her second move-in-noisy-night, I left her a small gift bag of home-grown (not my home but my mother's) tomatoes, apples and pears with a note that simply said "Welcome Home!" I signed my name and included my phone number.

Since the move in, all's been pretty darn quiet. I really can't complain about any noise. Yippee!

She hasn't thanked me for my welcome gift, which I honestly don't care about. Maybe she's waiting to see me in person?



More of a forecasting etiquette question, when I do get a chance to talk to her in person: What if she says something like "I know you complained about me to LL about my noise." How do I respond to this? I really don't want to throw NOSH under the bus and say "Hey. It wasn't me. NOSH was the one that complained."

I understand that this is a "What If" question, but I don't want to be thought of as the bad guy . . . the neighbor that complains. KWIM?



How would you handle this situation?

[Nannerdoman]

You can honestly say, "You can't 'know' I complained about you to your landlady, because I never did. Hey, did you know bean dip's on sale at Ralph's?"

[Shoo]

"What are you talking about?  I never did that."

You don't have to mention your other neighbor at all.

[rose red]

When NN moved back in, about 2 weeks ago, it was late at night (I think the first truckload pulled in at 10:00 p.m.) on a weeknight. There was quite the ruckus, but understandable noise for a move-in. After a while (I wasn't watching the clock, just trying to get to sleep) I heard NN shout out very loudly proclaiming:

"WOO HOO! NOISY NEIGHBOR IS BACK!"

Yes. She used those exact words. Noisy Neighbor. I cringed and thought "Does she read e-hell? Does she know what I've nick-named her? Does she know that I've been complaining about her behind her back?"

ACK!  That's one of my fears, someone knowing who I am in real life.

But yeah, just say "I have never complained to anyone."

[Zilla]

I too would be truthful and simply say that you never spoke to LL.

[TootsNYC]

I would say, "Oh, no, if I ever had any problems with you as a neighbor, I'd have brought them straight to you, as I did. I know I can trust you to respect me, so I'd just speak directly to you!"

[Margo]

I would very slightly amend TootNY's wording, to include a specific statement that you did not speak to LL. I agree that there is no need to mention NOSH at all.

"Oh, no, I haven't spoken to LLif I ever had any problems with you as a neighbor, I'd have brought them straight to you, as I did with the wind chime. I know I can trust you to respect me, so I'd just speak directly to you!"

(bolded my suggested addition)

[Zilla]

I had forgotten about the windchime!  Maybe she is irate about that?

[Hmmmmm]

I think you just respond that yes you did complain about the wind chime and that you do hope she doesn't put it back up.  Just be honest. 

[hobish]

I think you just respond that yes you did complain about the wind chime and that you do hope she doesn't put it back up.  Just be honest.

Saying she didn't would be honest; jpcher didn't complain, the other neighbor (NOSH) did. j complained directly to the windchime's onwer if i am reading it correctly. I think any combination of the above would suit perfectly.

As for the fruit ... when Gish and i first moved into our house one of the neighbors left a sweet note with trash pick-up days and stuff like that, and her phone number as a little welcome to the neighborhood. I wasn't sure what to do ( I am pretty sure i asked here) and i ended up waiting to thank her in person. It just felt more friendly and generally right that way. I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbor was doing the same.

[jpcher]

What a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

After I got out of my shower this morning, I heard NN out and about moving things around on her driveway, talking on the phone, etc. (Certainly not making any unruly noise.) So I figured this would be a good time to go over and have an in-person welcome home chat. It was about 8:30 a.m.

I approached her with a smile on my face, gave a wave and said "Good Morning! Welcome home!"

She looked at me like a deer stuck in the headlights. "OH DUCK*! I woke you up! I'm sooooo sorry! I'm trying to be quiet!"

I laughed and said "I'm not coming over to complain! I just wanted to welcome you back to the neighborhood."

"Thank Diety! Please don't call the LL! I'm really trying to be quiet! LL said that if she gets any complaints then I'm outtta here."

I used Toots's/Margo's wording (thank you both! ) and told her that I didn't complain to the LL and if I had a problem with her noise I would contact her directly . . . just like I did with the wind chimes.

I further explained that my noise problem was with the middle-of-the-night noise.

"DUUUUUCK!" she said. "I screwed up right away when I moved back in! I'm sorry!" She explained her work schedule and that when she has friends over at 1:00 a.m. it's like me getting off of work at 5:00 p.m.


Anywhoo, it was a good, friendly chat. I left feeling positive that she'll try to keep the noise to a minimum and that I can simply mention a noise problem to her and she will fix it.


Funny side note: While I was typing this out, sitting on my patio, Back Yard Neighbor gave a shout out to NN "Hey! How are you? I didn't hear any noise so I didn't think you were around." Honest to goodness those were his exact words.

So it's not just NOSH and me . . .


Oh, and hobish -- she did thank me in person for the gift bag I left. I agree that she was probably waiting to see me.


Thanks, all, for giving me the polite words to handle this situation.



*Duck isn't the exact word she uses, but she uses the rhyming word quiet frequently.