General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

How to gently correct - GLBT phrasing

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Jones:
"Friend? Sorry, I have a lot of friends..."  ???
"Your, ah, special friend."
"Oh, you mean my partner/spouse/consort/helpmate? She's doing better, thank you for asking."

Seriously though, NyaChan's suggestion is what I would do if I were in the situation, and what I've heard from others.

Cat-Fu:
I LOVE the term husbutch! I agree though, it's probably going to be tough to get people to take it seriously.

I have never been overly fond of the term partner, but it sounds like gently correcting with that is the way to go. (I'm not even sure if it counts as a correction to say "my partner is fine," for all they know, you just misheard!) I do like Slartibartfast's more stern correction, as well.

SleepyKitty:

--- Quote from: Jones on September 21, 2012, 11:26:41 AM ---"Friend? Sorry, I have a lot of friends..."  ???
"Your, ah, special friend."
"Oh, you mean my partner/spouse/consort/helpmate? She's doing better, thank you for asking."

Seriously though, NyaChan's suggestion is what I would do if I were in the situation, and what I've heard from others.

--- End quote ---

Actually, I would do the above.

Coworker: "How's your friend?"
You, friendly, polite but puzzled smile: "Oh, which one?"
Coworker: "You know, Whateverhername is?"
You, big smile and friendly tone of voice: "Oh, my wife! Haha, sorry, wasn't sure who you meant. Whateverhernameis is doing great, thanks! How's your husband?"

Do it with genuine friendliness and I think your point will get across without it being harsh. I would use the term wife, even if it's not the personal term you two would use, just because it's easy, but fill in whatever makes you most comfortable.

MorgnsGrl:

--- Quote from: SleepyKitty on September 21, 2012, 01:29:20 PM ---Coworker: "How's your friend?"
You, friendly, polite but puzzled smile: "Oh, which one?"
Coworker: "You know, Whateverhername is?"
You, big smile and friendly tone of voice: "Oh, my wife! Haha, sorry, wasn't sure who you meant. Whateverhernameis is doing great, thanks! How's your husband?"

Do it with genuine friendliness and I think your point will get across without it being harsh. I would use the term wife, even if it's not the personal term you two would use, just because it's easy, but fill in whatever makes you most comfortable.

--- End quote ---

I think this is a brilliant way to handle it.

EmmaJ.:
To me, it sounds like they like you and are interested and concerned in your life.  But you may be the very first person they've met with a same sex partner.  I bet they just don't know how to refer to her and are trying their best not to offend.

I agree with the other posters, for a couple weeks use the name you would like them to refer to her as; after all, that's how babies learn how to call their parents.  "Smile for mama!  Come to papa!" 

P.S. How is she doing?  The last I remember reading about was when you were still packing up your previous house. If there was an update, I missed it.

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