How to gently correct - GLBT phrasing

[joraemi]

I am in the group of not knowing how to address/refer to someone's same sex partner and I'd like to say it would be so much easier for me if you'd just tell me - I call her my husbutch! As long as it isn't derogatory - I'll refer to someone's spouse/SO however they'd like, I just want to know and am never sure what to do when it's a same sex situation - probably because I don't come across it very often!

Great thread. 

[gellchom]

Reviving this thread because I wanted to share a wonderful essay:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/fashion/labels-of-married-life-in-a-new-light-modern-love.html?ref=fashion&_r=0
It gives a fascinating perspective.  It's beautifully written, too.  I found the end especially moving. 
Enjoy.

[EmmaJ.]

What a wonderful article. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[RebeccainGA]

Agreed - lovely article.

Oh, and an update - apparently the word is going around. I've had no fewer than three people ask me how 'my partner' is doing, and one that said 'is partner right? I just want to make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing'. So impressed! 

Thanks everyone!

[nuit93]

Agreed - lovely article.

Oh, and an update - apparently the word is going around. I've had no fewer than three people ask me how 'my partner' is doing, and one that said 'is partner right? I just want to make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing'. So impressed! 

Thanks everyone!

I think that tends to be best--if you don't know what kind of phrasing someone uses, ask them!