Author Topic: The Clueless Guests  (Read 3652 times)

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LadyDyani

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The Clueless Guests
« on: January 05, 2007, 03:41:33 PM »
Last summer, I came home from work on Friday, and hubby's friend Jay was there, along with his wife Suz, and Suz's friend Nikki.  They also had both of their kids there (A nine year old boy and one year old girl).  I had picked my kids up on the way home, and my seven year old daughter was complaining about not feeling well.  Hubby was working on Nikki's car, so I took the kids inside and started dinner. 

By the time dinner was done, Suz had gone in and out of the house often enough and dropped enough hints that it was apparent that I was expected to cook dinner for the five of them as well as my own family.  They had all come over in Nikki's car, which was on blocks in my driveway at the moment, so I went out and whispered to hubby that I didn't have enough food for everyone.  He loudly told me to order pizza.  So I ordered pizza.  Ah well.  The dinner I cooked could be eaten the next night just as easily.

My daughter was still complaining about not feeling well, so I parked her on the couch and took her temp.  Suz comes in again and asks if we have any beer.  I told her I had a twelve pack, and she went back outside.  Apparently 12 wasn't enough, so Jay borrowed hubby's car and went and got another 12 pack. 

Over the course of the night, my daughter just kept feeling worse, and I kept going outside and giving my hubby updates on her condition.  Little passive aggressive hints (I know, I know.  Bad LadyDyani!) that they SHOULD LEAVE NOW!  Jay, Suz, and Nikki stayed stubbornly parked on the front porch, despite the fact that Nikki's car was fixed shortly after the pizza arrived.  Finally, my daughter's temp got so high I decided to take her to the ER.  I came home with her an hour later, ear infection prescription in hand, just as Jay, Suz, and Nikki were leaving with their demon spawn.  Those kids completely trashed my house.  Seems they decided to put the three kids inside while I was gone, and the adults stayed outside.  I'm not saying it was just their kids' fault, because my own four year old son was with them, but for the sake of all that's holy, I AM NOT YOUR VILLAGE, SUPERVISE YOUR CHILDREN!

So they leave, and I start cleaning while hubby runs off to get the prescription filled.  I look in the fridge, and look around the kitchen, and finally notice.  Not only did they eat pizza that was payed for by me, and drink the 12 pack of beer that I had in the fridge, but they took the other 12 pack HOME WITH THEM!  I was irritated at that, but even more so when I found out that Jay didn't have any money, so hubby had given him the money for the beer he left to go pick up.

I've gotten a bit more assertive since then, so if the same situation arose, I'd have no problem telling them to leave.  But every time I see them, Suz looks at me with a faintly puzzled look, as though wondering why we never invite them over any more.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

wetblanket

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2007, 03:52:09 PM »
That's incredibly insensitive and rude.

I wouldn't even be friends with them anymore!

Clara Bow

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2007, 04:49:47 PM »
That's not how friends treat one another. Why did she have to bring a friend along to have the car worked on. For that matter, why did the couple and their child have to come, why couldn't one of them stay home with the kids? And inviting themselves to dinner? Heinous! Especially in a house with a sick kid, that's just beyond rude.
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LadyDyani

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2007, 04:56:04 PM »
Hubby's a bit of a wrench head, so most people call him up and ask him for help when they have a car problem.  He enjoys it so it's no problem for him.  My problem with the whole thing was them not leaving when they found out my daughter was sick, them leaving the children in the house unattended, and them drinking all my beer, then taking home the beer my hubby paid for.  After they left and the kids were settled down into bed, I really ripped into hubby for letting them stay (although I can't really blame him for not being assertive, when I wasn't being assertive either), and for the kids being inside while the adults were outside.  And that's when I also told him they were not allowed to visit in our home any more.  I was pretty irritated with hubby at the time, because he was outside with the other adults, while I was inside with a sick kid, trying to corral my other kid plus two kids that weren't mine.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2007, 04:58:44 PM by LadyDyani »
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

JudiAU

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2007, 05:15:38 PM »
I AM NOT YOUR VILLAGE, SUPERVISE YOUR CHILDREN!

That was a very funny line. I think you are right on all counts. They should have left, shouldn't have hinted for dinner, shouldn't have asked for money to buy beer, shouldn't have taken such beer with them, and should have supervised their children!

supernova

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2007, 06:44:38 PM »
Please don't tell me your hubby did their car repair work for free too?

I think you have been taken advantage of, my dear.  I applaud your refusal to invite these people again.

     - saphie

p.s.  May I please borrow your "I am not your village" line?  *makes bambi eyes*  Pleeease?   ;)


DottyG

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2007, 07:06:01 PM »
I've gotten a bit more assertive since then

I'm glad to have read this part.

You're not going to like this much, but part of what happened was because you were not assertive enough to say, "Everyone, my daughter is ill, and this is not the best time for us to entertain.  I'm afraid we're cutting the evening short, so my daughter can rest and get well.  Thanks for dropping by!" and ushering them out the door.  This is, I think, one of those times where the "you're not required to be a doormat" philosophy that's being discussed in another thread is very appropriate. :)

If guests are doing things not befitting good guest behavior, it's up to you to do something about it.  And, that's not dropping little passive aggressive "hints" around hoping they'll get a clue.

Aggressive is rude; assertive is not rude.  It's actually the best solution for all, as it's the fair thing for both sides.


Alida

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2007, 07:11:14 PM »
Assertiveness is our best tool :)

It never fails to awe me just how incredibly (or is that intentionally?) thoughtless people like Jay, Suz and Nikki can be.

Secret

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2007, 08:57:27 PM »
Finally, my daughter's temp got so high I decided to take her to the ER.  I came home with her an hour later.

Nobody caught on to this?  ONe hour at the ER?  You're lucky you didn't arrive home at 6 am with them still there! :)
Congrats of improving your assertiveness.

IndianInlaw

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2007, 09:24:26 PM »
Clueless? 

No way!

They got car repairs, beer and pizza...and their kids wrecked someone else's house.

A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one.

 :P

mindibrad

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2007, 08:39:59 AM »
While they were certainly rude and clueless guests, most of the fault DOES lie with your husband, IMO

One would hope that your guests would have gotten the hint that it was a bad time for you (with your child being sick. etc), but I would EXPECT that my husband would have picked up the clues that you were sending and taken the initiative to cut their visit short or at least provide better supervision.

Had this happened in my house:

"Honey - I  should have said something to you right away, but what happened with Jay, Suz & Nikki can't happen again.  I have no problem with us springing for the occasional pizza & beer while you have fun tinkering with the car and hanging out with your friends, but when it got to the point where I took Daughter to the hospital I really wished you would have realized that was your cue to cut the visit short, or at least make sure that everything was taken care of.  Daughter was really sick and the last thing I needed when I brought her home from the hospital was to come home to a completely trashed house.  Oh - and out of curiosity - if we paid for the beer, why did Jay get to take it home with him?  Can we please agree that this won't happen again?  Thanks sweetie!"

This may be an unpopular opinion, but if it were me, I would have been annoyed at Jay, et al and FURIOUS with my husband.

FoxPaws

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2007, 12:22:15 PM »
My question is: What kind of parents let their kids be exposed to someone else's sick child when they don't know she's not contagious?

Your kid's running a fever of unknown origin - I'll be back to pick my car up later!
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Shoo

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2007, 02:09:45 PM »
This may be an unpopular opinion, but if it were me, I would have been annoyed at Jay, et al and FURIOUS with my husband.

This is how I would feel too.   My dh would be in BIG trouble if he were to ever put us in a situation like this. 

LadyDyani

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2007, 08:53:13 PM »
Thanks for all of your comments!  I freely admit, that both hubby and myself were at fault (a bit), but we've both matured quite a bit in the past couple years.  Growing up kind of springs on you when you're looking in the other direction, no?  One minute we're 27, and having fun, and the next minute, we're nearly 30 and doing laundry on Friday nights so we'll have time free for napping on Saturday.

And starsaphire, you can borrow it if you like, though I'm pretty sure I found it in a customers_suck post on LiveJournal.  I'll find the post tomorrow and link to it in this thread, it's pretty funny.  I've got lots of customers_suck posts in my memories on LJ.  I'm ladydyani over there as well if you want to check them out.  The ones in my memories are the ones that make me giggle the most.  My favorite is the fishsticks post.
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.

LadyDyani

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Re: The Clueless Guests
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2007, 04:52:08 PM »
By 'tomorrow', I meant 'a week or so'.  Whoops.

Here's the link by the way:  http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=ladydyani

The funniest ones are the ones in the customer folder. 

This is the one with that particular line:  http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/5053660.html

ETA:  Here's the line:  4. I am not part of your village. Your children=your problem. If you let them run around my store unsupervised, I hate you anyway, so do not then complain to me about what they heard/saw/bought/read. Had I possessed the desire to play nutritionist, safety guide, and moral counselor to your little screaming savages (who really should be devastating a crop somewhere, no?) I'd be working at a summer camp, wouldn't I?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 04:53:48 PM by LadyDyani »
English doesn't borrow from other languages, it follows them down dark alleys and beats them up and searches their pockets for loose grammar.