Author Topic: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress  (Read 19862 times)

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Sterling

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #45 on: October 01, 2012, 11:33:45 PM »
I work at a college and my winter staple is a pair of tall over the knee black boots that have a 2 inch wedge heel.  I wear them with all sorts of dresses and I don't think they look out of place at all.  I personally wouldn't respond to the coworker.  Just a frosty look.

Edit to add:
Also for those who were not graced with pencil thin legs find a good shoe repair place or cobbler shop.  At 110lbs I still couldn't wear most tall boots.  I finally went into the shoe repair place an asked what could be done to increase the calf width of a pair of boots.  Turns out for $12 they can add leather to either side of the original zipper and for about $8 they can do elastic that matches the boot color.  The boots have to be zip up kind but it is a cheap easy fix for boots.  I buy my boots on sale during the early summer and have them expanded.  I love them.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2012, 11:59:59 PM by Sterling »
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CaptainObvious

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #46 on: October 02, 2012, 01:48:07 AM »
Thanks for clarifying. I do understand. I just wanted those in such situations to be absolutely sure that the co-worker's comments--while rude-- didn't have a grain of truth in theme. Clothes do make the man, er, person. I also asked my husband what thought. He said over-the-knee boots were not appropriate and said they do convey an image of the so-called oldest profession.

Well I asked my husband and he said your husband is wrong

poundcake

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #47 on: October 02, 2012, 04:47:23 AM »
I don't think you can make categorical statements about over the knee boots or any other article of clothing.  The same article of clothing might look lovely on one body type and wildly inappropriate on another, for example.  So much depends on fit and figure.  Certainly some over the knee boots are not appropriate for work.  Some are, depending on office environment.

It also depends on how creative or business-oriented your field is. Certain articles of clothing or combinations can work well in a publishing house, but would look wild and inappropriate in a law office, and vice versus.

lkb

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #48 on: October 02, 2012, 05:50:26 AM »
I most humbly apologize. I certainly did not mean my comments to insult anyone and I am sorry they came out as they did.
While there is obviously much disagreement as to the appropriateness of the boots in question, I meant to refer to the image they convey to some people, NOT to the character/profession of the wearer themselves.

I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

LadyL

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2012, 08:59:55 AM »
I most humbly apologize. I certainly did not mean my comments to insult anyone and I am sorry they came out as they did.
While there is obviously much disagreement as to the appropriateness of the boots in question, I meant to refer to the image they convey to some people, NOT to the character/profession of the wearer themselves.

I am very sorry. Please forgive me.

I appreciate your reflecting on the matter but I'm not sure that you understand the problem entirely. When critiquing what someone is wearing I can't really ever think of a time when allusions to prostitution are the best way to go. Talking about formal vs. informal or maybe calling a style of clothes "club wear" is fine but there is just no need to make the implication that anyone is advertising their body for sale because they are wearing something a bit more revealing or suggestive than what you are comfortable with. It strikes me as an inappropriately moralistic stance for something that is an issue of etiquette/dress code. Also re "image vs. character or profession" - I don't think "those boots remind me of what a prostitute would wear" is really much better than "you look like a prostitute" or "you're a prostitute." I don't mean to browbeat - I believe you that you are sorry but I want to underscore some distinctions about how to politely and respectfully discuss appropriate vs. inappropriate dress.

Back to the issue at hand - the over the knee boots that are in fashion these days (such as the ones someone posted a link for) strike me as a far cry from the patent leather spike heel iteration that would indeed not be work appropriate. Also there is the issue that when something is on the pages of every fashion magazine it makes it generally more socially acceptable to wear than if it weren't (think leg warmers). Now, with fishnet tights and a mini skirt, yes over the knee boots would still conjure up an image too provocative and club wear like for work - but over dark opaque tights or leggings with something like a sweater dress, or shift dress as described? In a more casual office I'd call it fashion forward but not inappropriate.


bopper

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #50 on: October 02, 2012, 11:11:20 AM »
.  In previous posts I've mentioned how Annoying Coworker has seemed to target me for my individuality.

It's called "Tall Poppy Syndrome"...in some cultures people tend to not want anyone else to stand out..as if a person stands out, they are better, and therefore better than the rest and that can't happen.

Eeep!

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #51 on: October 09, 2012, 06:23:03 PM »
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

But the OP's situation might not be that wide of a difference in dressing so my musings may not even be relevant.  And I do agree that in this particular instance, it does seem like a bit of sour grapes on the part of the commenting coworker.  I just thought I would throw this out there, knowing full well that I could be completely wrong. Heh.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

joraemi

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #52 on: October 15, 2012, 02:43:58 PM »
I love boots and a skirt/dress!  I don't have the bod to wear it though - so you keep wearing yours and I'll live vicariously through you!!




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nayberry

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #53 on: October 15, 2012, 04:04:17 PM »
I am also the office oddball.  Not more fancy or less fancy, just different.  These are my new shoes and I will totally wear these to the office once I'm finished my drilling gig:
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w%5B0%5D=gender%3Awomen&pp=2&view=detail&p=36&colourID=3526

Work your weird.  People will remember you for being different and that is not always a bad thing.  Your co-worker is probably just jealous that she doesn't look as put together as you do.

I so very much want black over the knee boots but chunky calves make it not likely to happen.  :'(  Even getting knee highs is proving to be a challenge.

off topic  - darn that site made it's way into my favourites!!!!

i've worked in a wide variety of jobs, some formal, some uniformed and some casual to an extreme (50+ man with a beer belly in SHORT denim cutoffs! no wonder we lost casual fridays  ::) !)  the only thing they had ion common was that someone always commented about something, didn;t matter what, might have hair up instead of down, there they'd go!  nowadays (at least once i get another job) i just let it roll off me



happygrrl

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #54 on: October 16, 2012, 08:18:19 AM »
Mr. Thipu assumed a different look and attitude when he put on his Monday morning 'corporate armor' after spending the weekend in what we called his 'going to buy a cow' outfit

Completely OT, but I am so stealing this! LOL!!
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Minmom3

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #55 on: October 16, 2012, 01:51:20 PM »
Mr. Thipu assumed a different look and attitude when he put on his Monday morning 'corporate armor' after spending the weekend in what we called his 'going to buy a cow' outfit

Completely OT, but I am so stealing this! LOL!!

 ;D  That is  FINE turn of phrase!  Fine!  Beautiful. 

I wear scrubs at work, and I no longer fit most of my old 'nice office' clothes, darn it all!  Wearing scrubs just means I get to choose what goes under it, because there MUST  be something under in case I get covered in glop and need to change to a spare whatever...  As others here have said, there is an office culture that determines what is acceptable to wear, uniform look or not. 

I've worked in office casual, office 'nicer', and for a short time, office Really Quite Spiffy garb.  Within every range, there's the conservative take on it, and the edgier-and-not-so-conservative take on it, ALL while keeping within the office range of OK.   So, what people can wear is enormously variable, and somebody at the conservative end of things possibly isn't going to be happy with the, say, younger-and-much-trimmer-body and edgier end of things.  That doesn't mean that both aren't acceptable to the Powers That Be.  That may mean that the conservative person needs to suck it up and shut up...  Office clothing policy probably also wants most people to NOT comment on others clothes, because it's not professional behavior, and can really tank morale fast.
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Lauren

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #56 on: October 21, 2012, 08:41:09 AM »
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.


PastryGoddess

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #57 on: October 21, 2012, 10:05:14 AM »
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.



There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.

Fleur

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #58 on: October 21, 2012, 10:30:53 AM »
Quote
I guess I'm going to play a bit of devil's advocate here.  I am not entirely sure that I agree that it is always OK to dress how you want as long as it is more "formal".  I kind of feel that places have an office culture and, to a certain extent, that needs to be respected.  Now I'm not saying that everyone must wear khakis if that is the general office "uniform". I myself am terribly uncomfortable in them. Same with golf type collared shirts. However, it seems like there is kind of a scale of dressing that you should fit into.  Like a few steps up the "business formality" ladder should be totally fine.  But if everyone is wearing khakis and polo shirts and one wears a full business suit, I feel like that divide might be too much.  While I don't at all think that OP is being pretentious or wanting attention or looking down on the other employees, I just don't think it should be that shocking that someone might interpret it in that matter.

I have to agree with this. There is office dress codes for a reason and you should dress to that office code. If it's office casual, wear office casual. If it's business suits, wear business suits.



There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.

Exactly. OP, your workplace sounds like mine. I feel underdressed when I'm not fairly smartly turned out. I also agree with TurtleDove about size/weight being somewhat relevant, as well. I am overweight (a UK size 14, which I believe is a US 12, which is definitely too large for my height of five three) and in the process of losing weight. I think that it is easier to make dresses and skirts look smart and professional at my size than trousers.

Lauren

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Re: Annoying Coworker's Comments on How I Dress
« Reply #59 on: October 22, 2012, 12:30:46 AM »
Quote
There is a very wide range of styles when it comes to business casual.  I think we have to trust OP when she says she's not over dressed for her office.  And even if she is, it's none of CW's business.  If her bosses are fine with the way she's dressing, then she's fine.

Except the OP herself is admitting she is overdressing for the office.

I do agree with you on that it is none of the CW's business. She is being rude and I do think the OP should say something to her boss about the treatment she is receiving. I do think that the OP needs to take this up further with her bosses.