I've lived abroad from my family for about ten years now, and I'm generally the one who visits. My experience is that the person who moves away, regardless of distance, is the one who does the majority of the visiting.
What I would advise for the people who are staying behind is
- Don't be too definite about saying that you'll never, ever visit. Even if it's true, moving far away from home can be pretty stressful when you're doing it. Having to adapt to the understanding that any time you ever see your family in the future will be solely on your initiative and expense can make it seem a lot more lonely. Once you're settled in and comfortable, it can be easier to process that reality.
- Recognize and be appreciative of the effort and money the travelling side is spending, even when it's done willingly. I think that the at home set often doesn't realize how much the away part of their family is sacrificing their own vacation time and budget year after year in order to see family. If the family at home takes it for granted, or worse, demands it, it rubs salt into the wound.
- Do what you can from your end to make visiting easier. Try to gather people in one place, rather than having the visitors hop around from city to city, if that makes it easier. Offer to put them up at your home, even if it's a stretch for you - saving another $1000 or two on hotel costs can make a huge difference. Take a few days of your own vacation to spend time while they're visiting.
- Make an effort to keep them in the loop with family and news, particularly if they're the only ones away from a group located close to you. Figure out the time-zones so you can make a voice call on special occasions, or when telling important news. It can make living in a foreign country a lot more lonely if you get the feeling that you've been sidelined in the family's mind.
- If you're not making any effort to visit them, be really careful about the demands you make on them. Don't get offended or pile on the guilt if they decide *not* to visit one year, because they can't afford it or are too tired.
- Recognize, in your own mind at least, the difference between "can't" and "don't want to". My sister will say that they "can't" visit us, because of the money and the vacation time and the kids. However, they make more than we do, and have more vacation time, and having kids won't absolve us from trans-Pacific travel. The truth is that they could visit if they wanted to, but they aren't willing to accept the hassle and sacrifice it would take to do so.