Party at a Restaurant

[Red1979]

I think we just want to make it clear that she is going to need a lot of refills and she has to budget accordingly.  Personally I'd be doing the math now and figuring out if I can afford it.  Two people drinking can probably down one basket of chips.  And guys can eat a lot.  People also tend to eat more of appetizers than a meal.

 It also is during prime dinner hours for a Saturday so it's highly likely a lot of guests will order a meal for themselves.

The setup right now is really bad for someone on a budget: Prime dinner hour + very few appetizers that  will need to be refilled a lot.  She needs to figure out if she can afford all those refills and budget them.

[rose red]

I'm wondering about the portion sizes.  I've ordered appetizers and was stunned at the amount of food that showed up.  I remember once ordering soup and garlic bread for a light meal and the amount of bread that came out...Yowza!  Two orders can easily feed the OP's party.   

[Red1979]

I'm wondering about the portion sizes.  I've ordered appetizers and was stunned at the amount of food that showed up.  I remember once ordering soup and garlic bread for a light meal and the amount of bread that came out...Yowza!  Two orders can easily feed the OP's party.   

That's a good point.  When I heard basket, I"m thinking those standard oval baskets most bars have.  If it's something extraordinarily large then the totals will be much different.

[WonderWoman]

Wow, OK. I really just wanted some guidelines on how to tactfully tell people that we are offering what we are offering (and please don't order yourself the lobster and macaroni & cheese entree and double shot of Knob Creek).

Honestly, if you can't afford to host people and give them a proper portion of food, you need to change your hosting plans.  7:30 to 9 PM on a Saturday is when everyone I know eats dinner (and I am in my 30s and many of us work long hours).  I'm on a pretty limited budget and I've still managed to host parties over the years, but I do need to adapt my plans to the money I have available.

If money is an issue why not go to a casual pizza place that has beer or host at home and have a local takeout place bring a bunch of apps and supply your own alcohol.

Honestly, I would not let my guests go away hungry. I have repeatedly stated that I will refill food items as needed. I don't know how that is being translated to doling out a morsel per person. I was just trying to wrap my mind around quantities to get a general idea of what we probably will need. The theme of the party is not Oliver Twist.

I already stated that I cannot host at home. This venue is down the street and in my price range - as long as people don't go wild ordering random items. I don't think they will do that, but I wanted some e-hell approved wording in case.

As RoseRed points out, by ordering in rounds, I can ensure that food remains fresh - nothing worse than limp, cold bar food.

Party is this Saturday, so I'm not changing any details at this point - that would be rude to the guests. I'll let y'all know if it is the predicted disaster or not!

[Moray]

Are you planning to tell your guests you'll refill as needed? I ask because if I came to a fairly short (1.5 hour) party, I'd think it reasonable to assume that what you see is what you get. Not to mention that if the bar is busy, it could be a bit until refills are received.

[NyaChan]

Wow, OK. I really just wanted some guidelines on how to tactfully tell people that we are offering what we are offering (and please don't order yourself the lobster and macaroni & cheese entree and double shot of Knob Creek).

Honestly, if you can't afford to host people and give them a proper portion of food, you need to change your hosting plans.  7:30 to 9 PM on a Saturday is when everyone I know eats dinner (and I am in my 30s and many of us work long hours).  I'm on a pretty limited budget and I've still managed to host parties over the years, but I do need to adapt my plans to the money I have available.

If money is an issue why not go to a casual pizza place that has beer or host at home and have a local takeout place bring a bunch of apps and supply your own alcohol.

Honestly, I would not let my guests go away hungry. I have repeatedly stated that I will refill food items as needed. I don't know how that is being translated to doling out a morsel per person. I was just trying to wrap my mind around quantities to get a general idea of what we probably will need. The theme of the party is not Oliver Twist.

I already stated that I cannot host at home. This venue is down the street and in my price range - as long as people don't go wild ordering random items. I don't think they will do that, but I wanted some e-hell approved wording in case.

As RoseRed points out, by ordering in rounds, I can ensure that food remains fresh - nothing worse than limp, cold bar food.

Party is this Saturday, so I'm not changing any details at this point - that would be rude to the guests. I'll let y'all know if it is the predicted disaster or not!

I think you have a pretty good plan in place.  I'm thinking of this almost like a cocktail party I attended for school - the food came out in small quantities but in waves over the course of 2 hours.  I didn't walk out full, but I didn't leave hungry or feel I wasn't fed.  I think that is a fairly standard way of doing things.  The only difference here is that rather than having waiters walking with trays, you are putting out the food on a table for people to graze.   

[Red1979]

Perhaps you could let the waitstaff know ahead of time that you'll be refilling as necessary so they can get stuff out a little faster to you.  Those are prime dinner hours so it's easy for the kitchen to get slow and since your party is relatively short, a long kitchen delay could really mess things up.

[sourwolf]

Perhaps you could let the waitstaff know ahead of time that you'll be refilling as necessary so they can get stuff out a little faster to you.  Those are prime dinner hours so it's easy for the kitchen to get slow and since your party is relatively short, a long kitchen delay could really mess things up.

I wold definitely do that, otherwise you might end up with five more baskets of food coming out at like 8:55 because they didn't get ordered till 8:15.

[Deetee]

I find people are over-reacting to OP on about 14 different levels.

She said she will be clear on the invite what she is offering. If the people that she invited feel that appies and beer are not what they want, they are free to refuse the invitation. She isn't tricking someone into missing dinner.

She says the hours of hanging out are open and most people have a short commute so people are free to have dinner beforehand.

She also said about 3 or 4 times that she will refill the food as needed so no-one should go hungry (and they wouldn't be expecting a full meal anyhow as she was clear on the invites)

Finally, I have attended these types of events and often people do not eat that much. In fact I was at one last night from 6:00 to 8:00 so prime dinner time. There were about 100 people and a table of finger food (maybe dinner for 15 people)

At the end of it the host was strongly encouraging people to take all the food they wanted (and fill their pockets if they wanted) as there was so much left over.

I know I had exactly one appetizer and spent my time chatting.

I hope the OP throws the party she wants to and all her friends attend and have a fantastic time. I think it sounds like a great party and honestly quite generous.

[Hmmmmm]

Are you planning to tell your guests you'll refill as needed? I ask because if I came to a fairly short (1.5 hour) party, I'd think it reasonable to assume that what you see is what you get. Not to mention that if the bar is busy, it could be a bit until refills are received.

I wouldn't.  I would assume that fresh refills would be coming so that they stayed hot.  Just like I wouldn't expect all the pictures of beer to be on the table getting flat.

[Zilla]

I find people are over-reacting to OP on about 14 different levels.

She said she will be clear on the invite what she is offering. If the people that she invited feel that appies and beer are not what they want, they are free to refuse the invitation. She isn't tricking someone into missing dinner.

She says the hours of hanging out are open and most people have a short commute so people are free to have dinner beforehand.

She also said about 3 or 4 times that she will refill the food as needed so no-one should go hungry (and they wouldn't be expecting a full meal anyhow as she was clear on the invites)

Finally, I have attended these types of events and often people do not eat that much. In fact I was at one last night from 6:00 to 8:00 so prime dinner time. There were about 100 people and a table of finger food (maybe dinner for 15 people)

At the end of it the host was strongly encouraging people to take all the food they wanted (and fill their pockets if they wanted) as there was so much left over.

I know I had exactly one appetizer and spent my time chatting.

I hope the OP throws the party she wants to and all her friends attend and have a fantastic time. I think it sounds like a great party and honestly quite generous.

Blanket statement much?


OP asked if it was enough in her OP and how much to expect to have to order.  Most of the people in this thread did exactly that. 


I saw no overreaction on 14 levels but just advice on what her "worst" case scenario would be so she can be prepared.  And how to handle if they want to order above and beyond, again something the OP asked about.


Others also advised on how to approach refills.  No one accused the OP of not refilling. I actually find your post an overreaction to everything that was said in this thread.

[Deetee]

I find people are over-reacting to OP on about 14 different levels.

She said she will be clear on the invite what she is offering. If the people that she invited feel that appies and beer are not what they want, they are free to refuse the invitation. She isn't tricking someone into missing dinner.

She says the hours of hanging out are open and most people have a short commute so people are free to have dinner beforehand.

She also said about 3 or 4 times that she will refill the food as needed so no-one should go hungry (and they wouldn't be expecting a full meal anyhow as she was clear on the invites)

Finally, I have attended these types of events and often people do not eat that much. In fact I was at one last night from 6:00 to 8:00 so prime dinner time. There were about 100 people and a table of finger food (maybe dinner for 15 people)

At the end of it the host was strongly encouraging people to take all the food they wanted (and fill their pockets if they wanted) as there was so much left over.

I know I had exactly one appetizer and spent my time chatting.

I hope the OP throws the party she wants to and all her friends attend and have a fantastic time. I think it sounds like a great party and honestly quite generous.

Blanket statement much?


OP asked if it was enough in her OP and how much to expect to have to order.  Most of the people in this thread did exactly that. 


I saw no overreaction on 14 levels but just advice on what her "worst" case scenario would be so she can be prepared.  And how to handle if they want to order above and beyond, again something the OP asked about.


Others also advised on how to approach refills.  No one accused the OP of not refilling. I actually find your post an overreaction to everything that was said in this thread.

I don't really want to pull the quote trees, but people had stopped giving the OP a "heads up" that the portions might be a bit small (which happens all the time and is very useful information for the host to have) and had started harping on the type of party and the amount of food and the timing of the party in a non helpful and quite judgemental  fashion.

This is generally a supportive forum and this thread was going weirdly judgemental on the OP who is throwing a nice hosted party for her friends.

[NyaChan]

I have to say, like Deetee, I too got a similar vibe towards the end.

[Zilla]

As I said, blanket statement.  I would have instead pulled the quotes and then posted that to them specifically instead of basically saying everyone overreacted in this thread.


This is a supportive forum but at the same time gives great advice that the OP doesn't necessarily expect or want to hear.  I got that sense here.

[Yvaine]

I don't really want to pull the quote trees, but people had stopped giving the OP a "heads up" that the portions might be a bit small (which happens all the time and is very useful information for the host to have) and had started harping on the type of party and the amount of food and the timing of the party in a non helpful and quite judgemental  fashion.

To me it seemed like "you might need more appetizers than you expect" was being misread as "you must throw a dinner party and not an appetizer party!" which is not quite the same thing.