Dear Prudence - Neighbor Says Halloween Decorations Are Too Scary

[Sharnita]

While I am the first to agree with most of the posters here about being able to hang what you want to...

I don't want to drive down my block seeing sawed up people, hanging people, mummies, dead people, nails driven into dummies, chain saws and the like EVERYWHERE then try to go in my own house and sleep.

It seems that good taste has gone south and it's all about how gory and creepy you can get.  I don't like it but I'm not going to pitch a fit over Halloween decorations.  I jus wish some of the decorators would go another route.

Yeah, I am with you.  I think some of it depends on sensitivities.  To some hanging people are decorations.  Unfortunately, to others it is the reminder of finding somebody they personally knew who committed suicide.  I also know that for some it might seem like a racial reference to lynching.  I am sure there are other decorations that can be triggers for other people.  I have known multiple people who have been killed violently and an unfortunate number who have been involved in committing violent acts so I don't find the decorations fun or festive.  I would not generally say anything to a neighbor unless something was outrageously grotesque or something but I can understand people, even adults, having a gut wrenching reaction to some things that seem harmless to others.

[Really?]

Hi

I think its all within reason is what matters, and yes PG would be good.

I had a friend (ex friend) who thought it would be great to decorate his parents yard. He dressed up a some horror movie character with a chainsaw and buried himselfs in leaves. When the kids came by he sat up and had the chainsaw noises going, becuase he's START UP THE REAL CHANGE SAW.

(Seriously, seriously seriously wrong IMO) But he didn't get why the neighbours complained to his parents and the cops were probably called. TG I am no longer friends with this person.

Me me me

[Shoo]

Hi

I think its all within reason is what matters, and yes PG would be good.

I had a friend (ex friend) who thought it would be great to decorate his parents yard. He dressed up a some horror movie character with a chainsaw and buried himselfs in leaves. When the kids came by he sat up and had the chainsaw noises going, becuase he's START UP THE REAL CHANGE SAW.

(Seriously, seriously seriously wrong IMO) But he didn't get why the neighbours complained to his parents and the cops were probably called. TG I am no longer friends with this person.

Me me me

Did he at least remove the chain first? 

[magicdomino]

*sigh*  Even professional haunts either remove the chain or use fakes -- usually the latter since gas-driven chainsaws have some hazards even without the chain.  Then again, professional haunts think about things like lawsuits. 

Let me repeat:  Thou shalt not make the little kids cry.  Smart pros have a separate route for the little ones.  Reserve the Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the teenagers who didn't bother to wear a real costume.

[Jones]

I faintly remember a T or T incident when I was quite small, when my mother was taking me up the driveway to a house and a larger boy in a mask set off a bunch of firecrackers while simultaneously jumping at me. Mom knew the family, so she took him by the ear and marched him to the door while I sobbed in fear. His parents gave me a load of candy.

Ran into him in high school. Apparently he had been angry at the time but much later felt bad about the incident.

[cocacola35]

I think Prudie's advice is good, but in my experience a someone that expects everyone to cater to their demands is not very receptive to compromise. 

When I was very young, my mom took me ToTing to the neighbor's "haunted house".  The neighbor's son had dressed up like Dracula and was lying in a coffin.  If you wanted candy, you had to be brave enough to grab it off of his chest.  I started crying and was scared.  My mother took me away and after I had calmed down a bit she explained that it was just neighbor's son in a costume and all the other "tricks" were fake.  Because of what she told me, the next year I was able to go through it without getting upset- even brave enough to grab some candy  

It never occurred to my mother to demand the neighbors tear down their haunted house because it scared me.  In fact, doing that would have done me no favors at all- I never would have known how to overcome my own fears.  I feel sorry for kids that have these helicopter parents; they never learn to overcome fear or take responsibility for their own safety.

[Sharnita]

Actually, I think it can be a bit tricky.  In your case you had obviously never had any actual life encounters with Dracula.  However, I have had students who have witnessed family members get murdered.  I know people who have found suicide victims who have hung themselves. The problem with Halloween decorations can be that they use potentially real/realistic imagery which is fake for some but could be real to others. Now I don't go right to assuming others should take down their decorations for the comfort of their neighbors but I also think that in at least a few cases it might be overly simplistic to shrug it off and say "tell them it's fake".

[Kimblee]

In my experience people who go all out and decorations, usually like showing how it is done. They like decorating, the goal is to have fun not scare small kids.   Also it doesn't sound like they are doing things like jumping out at people, or targeting young kids for a fright.

This.  I'm interested in creating original designs fitting into an overall theme.  I'm not interested in making small children cry.  Teenagers, however . . .   

Making little kids cry is actually kinda a low blow for me. (In that when I've done it its left me feeling rotten.) But the two years I did a haunted "house" (It was actually a strip mall shop) I had a pretty good time. And got "saved" by Captain America. (Several years ago, so before the movie came out.)

I was supposed to be a vampire victim so I was all dressed up in my bloody nightgown, pretty gory. The age limit for my side of the house was 14+ so we had our game seriously stepped up. But apparently we were too close to the two entrances because a 4-6 y.o. Captain America ran to my rescue and whapped the vampire with his shield. 

When I hugged him for "saving" me, he caught me off guard and smooched me on the mouth. lol

[Iris]

In my experience people who go all out and decorations, usually like showing how it is done. They like decorating, the goal is to have fun not scare small kids.   Also it doesn't sound like they are doing things like jumping out at people, or targeting young kids for a fright.

This.  I'm interested in creating original designs fitting into an overall theme.  I'm not interested in making small children cry.  Teenagers, however . . .   

Making little kids cry is actually kinda a low blow for me. (In that when I've done it its left me feeling rotten.) But the two years I did a haunted "house" (It was actually a strip mall shop) I had a pretty good time. And got "saved" by Captain America. (Several years ago, so before the movie came out.)

I was supposed to be a vampire victim so I was all dressed up in my bloody nightgown, pretty gory. The age limit for my side of the house was 14+ so we had our game seriously stepped up. But apparently we were too close to the two entrances because a 4-6 y.o. Captain America ran to my rescue and whapped the vampire with his shield. 

When I hugged him for "saving" me, he caught me off guard and smooched me on the mouth. lol

Well, surely he'd earned it  That vampire must have been twice his size. What a little hero!

[Firecat]

In my experience people who go all out and decorations, usually like showing how it is done. They like decorating, the goal is to have fun not scare small kids.   Also it doesn't sound like they are doing things like jumping out at people, or targeting young kids for a fright.

This.  I'm interested in creating original designs fitting into an overall theme.  I'm not interested in making small children cry.  Teenagers, however . . .   

Making little kids cry is actually kinda a low blow for me. (In that when I've done it its left me feeling rotten.) But the two years I did a haunted "house" (It was actually a strip mall shop) I had a pretty good time. And got "saved" by Captain America. (Several years ago, so before the movie came out.)

I was supposed to be a vampire victim so I was all dressed up in my bloody nightgown, pretty gory. The age limit for my side of the house was 14+ so we had our game seriously stepped up. But apparently we were too close to the two entrances because a 4-6 y.o. Captain America ran to my rescue and whapped the vampire with his shield. 

When I hugged him for "saving" me, he caught me off guard and smooched me on the mouth. lol

Well, surely he'd earned it  That vampire must have been twice his size. What a little hero!

Awww...what a sweet little guy! I'm not into the super gory stuff myself. What I tend to like more as Halloween decorations is things like the fake graveyards, maybe some skeletons and ghosts, bats, and so on. But as something of an arachnophobe, I really, really don't like the huge fake spiders. And if people do use them, I greatly appreciate it if they put them a distance from the sidewalk. But I figure that it's my problem to deal with, and wouldn't think of asking someone to remove one because of my issue.

[snowdragon]

    I went to the haunted fortress at Old Fort Niagara last night. It was advertised as 8 and up. People brought infants and then complained it was not appropriate for the little ones.
     Only one of the haunters tried to touch anyone, with his sword, and our guide yelled at him - not sure if it was part of the show or not. None of the tourists in out groups tried to touch the actors. It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had with one of these things.

[rashea]

We used to do a haunted house, and later a haunted porch. But, we always told people (with a sign at the road) to yell ahead if they were scared and we wouldn't scare them. In fact, we would show them the tricks, and we had some cool tricks. That seemed to make the little kids love the scary as they grew up. I know a lot of parents really appreciated it. Maybe these neighbors could do something similar.

[Jaelle]

    I went to the haunted fortress at Old Fort Niagara last night. It was advertised as 8 and up. People brought infants and then complained it was not appropriate for the little ones.
     Only one of the haunters tried to touch anyone, with his sword, and our guide yelled at him - not sure if it was part of the show or not. None of the tourists in out groups tried to touch the actors. It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had with one of these things.

I've always wanted to go to that one. It's a seriously spooky spot anyway, especially at night!

I thought Prudence was right on. A few of our neighbors have some mildly gruesome/scary stuff out. (Mock graveyards, plastic body parts, giant spiders, etc.) I told the boys for walks past it in the daylight and explained it out. The 4-year-old was fascinated. Now I think he's looking forward to see how it looks Halloween night, and not focusing on the scary aspect.

[snowdragon]

    I went to the haunted fortress at Old Fort Niagara last night. It was advertised as 8 and up. People brought infants and then complained it was not appropriate for the little ones.
     Only one of the haunters tried to touch anyone, with his sword, and our guide yelled at him - not sure if it was part of the show or not. None of the tourists in out groups tried to touch the actors. It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had with one of these things.

I've always wanted to go to that one. It's a seriously spooky spot anyway, especially at night!

I thought Prudence was right on. A few of our neighbors have some mildly gruesome/scary stuff out. (Mock graveyards, plastic body parts, giant spiders, etc.) I told the boys for walks past it in the daylight and explained it out. The 4-year-old was fascinated. Now I think he's looking forward to see how it looks Halloween night, and not focusing on the scary aspect.

 So let's go together next year. But it's not encouraged for kids under 8, but to  be fair it really is aimed at the very youngest set. The fort it self is scarier on normal day at dusk.to be honest.

[texgalatheart]

My daughter took her 4 year old goddaughter (GD4)  ToT this year. One house they went to had a scary masked man and 2 other people dressed up but not so scary. They must have been his spotters - when GD4 walked up, my daughter heard them whispering "nice,nice". The scary man didn't try to scare her. She totally enjoyed it.