Thanks again for all of your insights everyone.
as for my FIL: he is indeed the type to keep quiet to avoid fights at home. He generally doesn't really reach out to his kids for contact, but when we do see him, he's pleasant to be around. That didn't really change during the pregnancy, he never really called us up or anything, but then again he normally never does. We're thinking he doesn't know about the email she sent us, and I'm not exactly sure if he even realized our due date was around this time.
Just wanted to clarify that we have in fact been respecting her wish for no contact. The only time my DH has seen his mom since the 8 week mark, is when he called up his dad to ask if he could come pick up some old stuff, and his dad said 'sure, come on over', and she happened to be home as well. He can't very well go 'is mom home?' every time he calls, can he?
The original plan was for DH to call up his dad, not his mom, to notify him. After all, he never asked for a cut direct. But maybe a text message might be better, just to avoid potential drama after a long hormonal delivery?
Syrse ~~ This is probably rude to ask, but is there some particular reason that your husband's mother does not want either your husband or you (or your baby) in her life? Was there a history there between your husband and her? Are you maybe of a different religion, color, ethnicity, age group, socioeconomic background or whatever that makes you in her eyes "unacceptable" so she's shutting out not only you, but her son for making choice of which she did not approve?
I'm having such a hard time relating to a mother who isn't over the moon excited about her first grandchild! I just (as a grandmother) cannot relate to that!
I've been trying to find that out for ten years now. In the beginning when we were just friends, she was pleasant and polite to me. Then we started dating
, and she cooled off considerably. I tried to be nice, but everything backfired; if I was quiet at the dinner table, DH later got a mouthful about how unsocial I was. If I tried to make conversation the next time, I 'talked too much'. I would help with the dishes and put clean things away: 'why is she rummaging around our cabinets??' I ran upstairs to get my sweater that I forgot there: 'who does she think she is, going upstairs like she owns the house?' (we were at the 3 year mark at that point)
At one point, she told DH flat out I was no longer allowed in her house. We respected that wish, even though she never gave us a reason. DH tried to press, but the best he ever got out of her was 'you should be enjoying life, not wasting it in a long term relationship
He did have girlfriends that she did accept, so this was quite puzzling.
Eventually DH moved out and we moved in together, and surprisingly, things went better. Even up to the point where she would invite me over for dinner when he was out of the country for work. Scary, but we tried to make it work.
Then we went over to announce our engagement... and she slipped right back into cold. DH did press her this time for a reason, and this time he got a 'marriage isn't from this age anymore, why would you want to do something so stupid?'
Nevertheless, we invited her, she showed up, she danced at our wedding... and she seemed back on her way of warming up again. So we figured, hey, maybe this can work after all.
And then we went over for the pregnancy announcement, and got the cut direct.
Now I'm not saying she has to like me. I could manage cool polite with her if that was the way she would want to go. But the way she treats her own son just makes my blood boil at times.
The best I can come up with myself is that she was a teenage mom, who was 'forced' to marry because of DH's birth. (she wasn't, her parents told her at the time they would help her out whatever she chose to do)
I think she had a whole life planned out for him, where he could fool around without any responsibility, and he deviated from that path, and it upset her? But I suppose we'll never know for sure.
Thanks for the congratulations everyone
8 more days! Or so they claim