OP here, with an update
Well, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl about a week ago
DH ended up calling his dad. He seemed pleased, but the conversation was kind of short, and after that, his dad didn't call again to check how we were doing. DH had a bit of trouble with that.
We've been home from the hospital since thursday, and today, out of the blue, the doorbel rings. DH's parents!
Loose from the fact that they didn't call ahead to ask (suppose I was in the middle of feeding?), his mom pretended nothing ever happened. She did say congratulations, and they brought a gift, but then she basically went straight into 'she's dressed too warm, she needs a diaper change', etc. Sigh.
DH's mom also basically ignored me the entire time she was there, unless I addressed her directly. I somehow found it hilarious: so they're coming over to see a baby. Where exactly does she think that baby came from?
DH's dad was very much taken with our little girl, and even held her. DH's mom couldn't even manage to sit down, she was obviously very uncomfortable.
I honestly don't know what to think of it all, or how to respond. DH always said that if she ever showed up and pretended nothing happened, he wouldn't let her in. But they completely surprised us. I can tell it upset him, and it took him quite a few hours to calm down. He's now sitting with our daughter watching TV, it seems to help.
So yeah... now what? Do we go, yet again, back to the 'lets pretend everything is fine' until the next time she cuts us off? Because honestly, I do NOT want to explain to a sad little girl why her grandmother suddenly does not want her to come over anymore. And my husband is coming to the end of his rope as well.
And then again, she's not my mom, so what exactly can I say about it?