college adviser consultant-ever had one?

[siamesecat2965]

And I was reminded yesterday by some post on FB by HS classmates about our one guidance counselor/advisor.  Who, apparently, told a lot of students, good, so so, and whatnot, they had no chance of getting into the schools they were applying to.  And after some discussion, we all said we HAD gotten into our first choices, or other schools, despite what he told us! The theory was him telling us this meant we'd be discouraged, not apply, and he wouldnt have to do anything more for us!

[RegionMom]

OP here-

we have been playing it pretty stress free, between homecoming, helping with karate belt tests, school tests, special church events...and the PSAT is coming up next Friday. 

We have not paid for a prep course to study for it, as many of his classmates have done.  His score was high enough last year for National Merit but I do not want to add pressure to him so we have not mentioned anything except, "sleep is good!"

The school adviser has said she will begin meeting with juniors after the PSAT.  They are focused on seniors right now.  We do have time set aside to meet with her.

Once that happens, and see what she can do to help us, then we will decide if we need more help from the outside. 

A college recruiter from the school DS wants to attend did visit campus during lunch a couple of weeks ago, and DS greeted them and shook hands and chatted for a bit.  She asked the group how many were seriously considering her school.  Two of the dozen raised their hands, DS and a senior.  She then asked, who do you think should go here?  And they unanimously chose DS. 

So, he is the chosen top nerd of his class!   

[CharlieBraun]

I'm late to this party, but I was in Denver last week for a business meeting, and there was a conference there of a professional association of people who did exactly this, college advisory.  I would imagine that having membership in that group might be restricted to professionals having met certain criteria or thresholds, and I can tell you that they weren't there to party, they were there to work.

It was at the Embassy Suites in downtown Denver during the same days as the US Presidential debate, if anyone is interested in tracking down the name of the organization.

[stargazer]

A college recruiter from the school DS wants to attend did visit campus during lunch a couple of weeks ago, and DS greeted them and shook hands and chatted for a bit.  She asked the group how many were seriously considering her school.  Two of the dozen raised their hands, DS and a senior.  She then asked, who do you think should go here?  And they unanimously chose DS. 

So, he is the chosen top nerd of his class!   

I'm having a hard time buying this to be honest.   It would be so inappropriate of them to do.  (And like the other kids who were seriously considering the school wouldn't think they should go there too?)

[Moray]

A college recruiter from the school DS wants to attend did visit campus during lunch a couple of weeks ago, and DS greeted them and shook hands and chatted for a bit.  She asked the group how many were seriously considering her school.  Two of the dozen raised their hands, DS and a senior.  She then asked, who do you think should go here?  And they unanimously chose DS. 

So, he is the chosen top nerd of his class!   

I'm having a hard time buying this to be honest.   It would be so inappropriate of them to do.  (And like the other kids who were seriously considering the school wouldn't think they should go there too?)

Yeah, that sounds like your son may be exaggerating or you may be misinterpreting. I can't conceptualize a recruiter who would engage in that kind of potentially-humiliating popularity contest as part of encouraging people to consider their school.

[#borecore]

A college recruiter from the school DS wants to attend did visit campus during lunch a couple of weeks ago, and DS greeted them and shook hands and chatted for a bit.  She asked the group how many were seriously considering her school.  Two of the dozen raised their hands, DS and a senior.  She then asked, who do you think should go here?  And they unanimously chose DS. 

So, he is the chosen top nerd of his class!   

I'm having a hard time buying this to be honest.   It would be so inappropriate of them to do.  (And like the other kids who were seriously considering the school wouldn't think they should go there too?)

Yeah, that sounds like your son may be exaggerating or you may be misinterpreting. I can't conceptualize a recruiter who would engage in that kind of potentially-humiliating popularity contest as part of encouraging people to consider their school.

Agreed. And if it's true, then the recruiter should be suspended or fired.

[RegionMom]

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

[kareng57]

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

Agree - this sounds like borderline-bullying on the part of the recruiter.  I'm honestly puzzled as to why you would think this was "funny".  Surely more than one child from this school would be qualified to attend the particular university?

I am looking forward to your followup reply.

[GratefulMaria]

Another late arrival to this thread.  I think an outside consultant can be a huge help if, as stated earlier, school staff is either overwhelmed, turning over, or somehow unable to give the student info and support.  A school counselor may not have the time to coach a student through all the administrative details of either finding schools or applying to them, and if a student does better with that help and an adult in his/her life isn't free to provide it, then it might be worth it.  Another reason could just be chemistry; sometimes a third party is just easier to work with.  When our sons applied to college, we were all on the same side and it still got really intense -- it's a very demanding time.

My two gained the most help from free sources from the library and the internet, and from school visits.  The visits were expensive (cross-country in the U.S.), but less so perhaps than a consultant might have been.

Enjoy the ride!

[jpcher]

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

Agree - this sounds like borderline-bullying on the part of the recruiter.  I'm honestly puzzled as to why you would think this was "funny". Surely more than one child from this school would be qualified to attend the particular university?

I am looking forward to your followup reply.

Bold above, to a parent with multiple children involved in many activities, sometimes what the child tells you is a small snippet but extremely pride-worthy.

Sometimes it doesn't mean that the person (in this case the recruiter) was wrong in evaluating the students in such a manner.

Sometimes the only thing that matters is the child's self esteem.

No matter the fine details, OP is proud of her son. He is the best nerd in the class!

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

I don't think that you should ask for clarification of this conversation at all. In the long run, it's not all that important.

Your son feels proud of himself, he should continue to do so. Please don't dampen his pride by questioning a simple 5 minute conversation with an outsider.

You said it was a casual mention from your son. Don't turn casual into a (wrong) big deal.

Give him his moment and let it be.

[kareng57]

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

Agree - this sounds like borderline-bullying on the part of the recruiter.  I'm honestly puzzled as to why you would think this was "funny". Surely more than one child from this school would be qualified to attend the particular university?

I am looking forward to your followup reply.

Bold above, to a parent with multiple children involved in many activities, sometimes what the child tells you is a small snippet but extremely pride-worthy.

Sometimes it doesn't mean that the person (in this case the recruiter) was wrong in evaluating the students in such a manner.

Sometimes the only thing that matters is the child's self esteem.

No matter the fine details, OP is proud of her son. He is the best nerd in the class!

I will have to ask DS when he gets back from helping with a karate belt test tonight.  It was a casual mention to me, and it seemed a casual group conversation after the meeting with the rep.  I do believe the rep asked the question, and not another student.
I will ask for clarification tonight. 

See, I really do not know how all this works!

I just thought it was a funny conversation, not inappropriate questioning!

I don't think that you should ask for clarification of this conversation at all. In the long run, it's not all that important.

Your son feels proud of himself, he should continue to do so. Please don't dampen his pride by questioning a simple 5 minute conversation with an outsider.

You said it was a casual mention from your son. Don't turn casual into a (wrong) big deal.

Give him his moment and let it be.

I disagree.  From the OP's prior posts, I certainly don't think that her son has any self-esteem issues.

It's simply that, if that's actually what the rep said, it's definitely inappropriate for her to have implied that only one child out of the entire class would be eligible to attend that particular college.  That's what people are addressing here.

[NyaChan]

Honestly, I think the recruiter kind of flubbed it with that question, because it sets someone up for feeling bad as I'm sure the other kid who no one voted for did.  I feel really bad for that kid and hope he doesn't feel discouraged about applying for that school based on what a small group of his peers said - if the recruiter is any good, she should have encouraged him to apply as well as RegionMom's son.  However, the recruiter's mistake is not RegionMom's fault, and it certainly isn't her son's.  He seems to focus really strongly on academics and is known "geekiness" at school, so I'm not really surprised that people would just pick him based on that.  I remember we used to do a game in class based on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in English/Lit, and everyone would pick me to be their "Phone a Friend" - they weren't saying that everyone else was stupid or unworthy, they just knew I read a lot and knew a lot of the answers.

[RegionMom]

OP here with slight update of a random comment-
Kids took the PSAT on Wednesday, so at home afterwards, in talking about tests and such, I tossed in the question, "so, DS, do you recall what the recruiter said when you were 'voted' biggest nerd?"

And he did not recall the comment.  DD piped up and said, "I remember that DS said something about who was the biggest nerd, but I was not there so I do not know."

And that was that.

On the practice SAT he took the night before, he got a perfect score in math, and only missed a couple in the other sections.  He said the actual test was what he expected.

He has had a bet with another classmate for the past two years, that the lower scorer must agree for one day everything the other person says in either lit or history discussion.

Last year, he won, but did not take his prize.  This year, she took a prep course, and they tied on practice test scores. 

We will find out in December. 
He does not want to worry about the bigger picture of colleges and scores, he just wants to beat (Clarice) and decide if he will take his agreement day or not...

So, non-update, basically.

Sorry!

[Zilla]

He just wants to beat Clarice? Wow, competitive much? 
 
 

[bopper]

For those parents and students starting the college search, I recommend www.collegeconfidential.com. 


Here are other lessons I learned when helping my daughter with the process.

Applications

1)   Try to visit some colleges now (junior year in spring break or so) if possible so that they can get a visual of what college is like and what they are looking for.

2)   Don’t apply to any schools that you don’t want to go to.

3)   If your kid doesn’t know what they want to major in  or seems reluctant  to go to college, consider Community College.  It will be  a more supportive environment for a lower cost. Usually it is no problem to transfer to the State University.

4)   Strongly consider applying to a college that has Early Action (not one that you are bound to) so you have at least one acceptance before January 1. It is very nice as you are waiting for the April 15 decision date to know you have an acceptance.

5)   Make a rough draft of the application essay over the summer.   It is like pulling teeth to get them to do this, but Senior Year is often very busy with advanced classes and it is also very hard to do difficult school work plus the essay plus the early applications.   This way when the senior gets back to school they can start having teachers and guidance counselors look over the essay ASAP. Try to convince the kid to use those people as resources so they have the best essay they can do to help get into what ever school they want to.  And if your kid won't start early, make sure they don't take a killer course load. That can make a difference in the stress level.

6)   If your kid really wants to apply to an Ivy league college, then work with them to make sure their essay is spectacular and that they have really focused on what they bring to the university.  Try to really focus on an area of extra curriculars that is unique or that you bring a unique spin to, or that you are really good at. I think my daughter did an average essay that didn’t highlight why they needed her.  When only 8% of applicants get in, you really need to stand out.

7)   PSAT and SAT/ACT scores really do count for a lot and are used to determine scholarships.  I think it is worth some sort of formal study program to maximize those scores.

Financial Aid:
   As early as possible in the process (way before it’s time to actually apply for financial aid!), do a rough Estimated Family Contribution (EFC) calculation on the FAFSA and College Board websites. These are the official websites where you enter all your financial data so that it will be determine how much your family can “afford”.  That will give you a ballpark figure of what the colleges will think you can afford to pay. But note that except for the most competitive/Ivy league schools, most colleges do NOT meet 100% of need (not even close!), so in most cases the kid/family will be expected to pay a LOT more than the EFC.

9)   Once this is determined, be realistic up front with how much your family is willing pay every year for college.  Sit down and  talk to your kid about what you will have to spend on their college so they know what they have to work with.   I wouldn’t discourage them from applying to expensive schools because they may get financial aid or merit aid, but if it ends up being $30,000 more than you can pay then they know that won’t be in the cards. 

10)   There are only 2 ways to end up paying LESS than your computed EFC: apply to a school whose total costs are less than your EFC, or get a very generous merit aid offer. For this reason, if you don't think you can afford your EFC, look for schools where your kid will be near the top of the application pool, and that are known for giving good merit aid.   


11)   If you get need-based financial aid, keep in mind that the loans the student can get will usually be included in the aid package -- those loans are not usually available to go toward meeting your EFC.  Also, if your student earns outside scholarships, your need-based financial aid will usually be reduced by the amount of the scholarship, though if you're lucky they'll reduce the loans and work-study portion and not any grants.

12)   When you look at the financial aid that a college awards, look closely. Sometimes they say early on in the letter that you have $5500 in financial aid, and you find out when you look more closely that it is only a loan.

13)   However, if you don’t have very much money at all, don’t let that stop you from applying to more expensive schools if you have a chance of getting in.  The financial aid need may be covered.

Deciding:
14)   When it comes time to compare schools and make decisions, you can Google “common data set college” to see a whole bunch of info about specific colleges, all displayed in a consistent way. The first match will probably be was a College Confidential website listing with the links for a bunch of colleges; the ones that are missing from that list can be Googled directly instead. There’s admission data, financial aid data, the most important factors considered in students’ applications, class sizes, faculty info, and tons more.

15)   Don’t be afraid to contact the school if you have questions or something seems off.  For example, my daughter had applied to our State public University.  She had gotten partial scholarships at all the other state public universities and since ours is also known for partial scholarships I contacted them.  I had read that they award them based on GPA/Class Rank in addition to SAT scores.  But my daughter’s GPA is very difficult to compute (2 different non-4.0 scale systems) and she has no class rank (schools are too small). But I sent them an email saying that if lack of information was the reason that we could provide any that they needed.  They must have looked at her grades/SAT and the next day awarded her a partial scholarship in line with the other schools.


Useful websites include:
http://collegesearch.collegeboard.com for basic stats, size, admissions percent, mid 50% test scores etc.
www.unigo.com for “reviews” of colleges
www.kiplingers.com for best value colleges
www.collegeconfidential.com for discussion forums for all things collegiate.
http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/ New York Times Blog for “Demystifying College Admissions and Aid”
http://www.finaid.org/fafsa/maximize.phtml for strategies to maximize financial aid.