Help with birthday party...possible cancellation. update 14 final update 18

[lemons]

If it makes you feel any better, I had almost the exact same situation with my daughter's birthday.

RSVPs were due the Monday before the party, which was on a Saturday.  The people that I expected to be there did RSVP by the deadline, but I never heard from several people, who didn't show up.  One little girl's mom told me the day of the party that they were coming - about an hour before it was supposed to start!  The girls play softball together, why the mom didn't tell me on Tuesday at practice, I don't know.  She told me as the game was starting on Saturday morning that they were going to be there, but possibly a little late due to going home and changing after the game.  Luckily, the party was held at a paint-your-own-pottery place, so it wasn't any extra work to add an additional child, as the pottery was the party favor.

Since we only do "friends" parties every other year or so, I can deal with the flakiness, but it's really annoying trying to coordinate everything and then finding out at the last minute that you're going to have extra people.  Happily there was enough cake and ice cream to go around - plus left overs. 

[bopper]

I would say if there is at least one RSVP, go ahead.  Also tell your daughter not to worry about who ISN'T there, but have fun with who IS there.

[Danika]

it's really annoying trying to coordinate everything and then finding out at the last minute that you're going to have extra people.  Happily there was enough cake and ice cream to go around - plus left overs. 

The last party that I had for one of my children, we got a "yes" RSVP after the deadline. I'd already bought party favors, food, etc. Having 4 extra people after I'd bought everything would have been inconvenient. I used something similar to the EHellDame's reply that I've seen on the main site. I said something like "I'm sorry but I needed the headcount by RSVP-date and we can no longer accommodate you at this time. We look forward to seeing you in the future."

But that was because these were friends of DH's and mine that we had invited. Our DD doesn't know their kids well and wouldn't have missed them. Had she been desperately wanting them at the party, I probably would have just made another run to the store for more cake mix.

[sassydeej]

OP here with a final update: 

We had 2 classmates rsvp by the date, 1 was yes and the other was no.  2 more replies for the yes side a couple of days later.  Today when we had the party my DD had a good time with her 3 classmates and the family members that showed up.  We didn't have any friends that showed up extra.  It was a good day and DD had a great time and was very happy with the party.

[Solanna Dryden]

That's a great update! 

[Danika]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad DD had a great time!

[kherbert05]

If you invited all the girls in the class, could you contact the teacher and ask for the parents emails - or ask her to forward an email from you to them?

I wouldn't do this.  I am an elementary teacher, and these type of requests really annoy me.  I rarely have time to eat lunch or go to the bathroom during the average school day; I definitely don't have the time, desire, or energy to be put into the middle of RSVP struggles.

POD this. It can even get a teacher fired, because revealing some information is a violation of state and federal laws.