I need your collective wisdom regarding an issue my twin 11 year old girls are having at school. We are new to a small town, and this is their first year at this school. I have already spoke to both of their teachers and I left the meeting feeling that the matter would be resolved.
Today, after school I was called in for a meeting and was told that at least one of my kids seem to be the problem. The teacher has dismissed the entire incident as puberty, and I fear has marked me as ‘That Parent.’. I know my kids are not perfect; here at home they fight tooth and nail one minute and are best friends the next. I have never seen or heard tell of them acting that way in public, or had reports from past teachers that they were a problem.
The incidents have caused problems here at home, and have interfered with Thing1’s schoolwork. I’m starting to wonder if I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill, or if I should pursue the issue. I wrote the following, and would appreciate any thoughts on whether I should send it to both teachers, or the principal, or just file it away in case CrudeBoy escalates his creepiness.
I apologize in advance for the length, and will clarify as needed.
Cast of Characters:
Thing1 and Thing2 – T1 & T2 – my twins
QueenWannaBee –QWB – friend(?) of T2
CrudeBoy – CB – Boy in T1’s class who’s latched onto her
OtherGirl The Generic Girls
Names, of course, have been changed.
Dear Mrs. Teacher:
I spoke with Thing2 and Thing1 about the situation on the playground today, and this is what I was told when I questioned each girl, in the other’s presence for verification:
Yesterday Wednesday, 26th of September, Thing1 was really happy with the group of QueenWannaBee, CrudeBoy, Thing2 and herself. At that day’s lunch, with QueenWannaBee, CrudeBoy, Thing1 and Thing2 at the lunch table, QWB said that Thing2 said she [Thing2] wanted Thing1 kicked out of the group. Thing1 got mad, picked up her lunch and went to a different table by herself. Right away OneGirl, OtherGirl and AnotherGirl came over and asked Thing1 what was wrong. T1 told them that QueenWannaBee said Thing2 said she [Thing2] wanted Thing1 out of the group for no reason. OneGirl said QWB is just really bossy, and that she [QWB] secretly hates you [Thing1].
As soon as T1 left the table T2 told QWB that she never said that. CrudeBoy then said that Thing2 made up a joke about Thing1 liking CrudeBoy. Thing2 denies doing so.
Later on the 26th, Thing1 and one of the three GenericGirls were playing on the playground. QWB and CrudeBoy wanted to talk to her. They told Thing1 that they really miss her and want her back in the group. So T1 was back in the group.
Today, Thursday, September 27, 2012, T1 ate lunch with the three GenericGirls. T2 ate with QWB and CrudeBoy. There were no issues and nothing said at lunch for either girl. At recess, T1 played with QWB, CB and T2. T2 then went in the building for class, and QWB and CB apologized to T1 for playing a mean joke on her the day before.
During Art, CB told T1 that he returned T2’s pom-pom pen to her that had gone missing from her back- pack the first week of school. T2 did not receive a pen from CB.
My Personal Experience and Views:
These are not the first instances I’ve heard of CB fabricating a story about my children; on the field trip, CB told me that T1 said T2 said that I [LunchLady] told T2 that CB bothers me. The only truth to that is that I was bothered on the trip, with his incessant chatter, vulgarisms, and requests to carry his personal belongings; his lagging and keeping T1 back, preventing her from enjoying the full experience. At the time I did not express my irritation to my children, or anyone else at the school. I am also bothered that he showed up un-invited to our home the week previous to the field trip.
There are too many she said/she saids and she said/you saids, none of which originate with T1 and T2. It appears that QWB and CB, either alone or in conjunction enjoy stirring up trouble between T2 and T1. Why this may be is not for me to say, but it is my husband’s and my wish, as we previously discussed, that T1 and T2 stay away from CrudeBoy. If QueenWannaBee is CrudeBoy’s confederate, we would have to advise our girls to stay away from her as well, and it will be explained to the Things why people who behave in the above manner are not friends that should be cultivated.