The teacher gave T2 detention because of some sort of playground tiff? That seems way off to me.
Actually, T2 received a detention for an incident last week when QWB put a 'kick me' note on the back of a kid she has known since kindergarten. When kid discovered the post it, QWB told T2 did it, the kid complained to the teacher. T2s protestations earned her a trouble maker label along with the detention.
My reaction to all this may be due to my own hyper vigilance to injustice, smears, liars and manipulators that I've carried over from being raised by a mentally ill parent.
Thanks to the posters who suggested DH and I roll play. We had a great talk at dinner with the girls this evening, and it seems like the girls are beginning to understand not every one who acts friendly has friendly motives. We discussed various scenarios and outcomes from the last two weeks, and what the outcome may have been IF they trusted each other (there is no reason for them not do so). We roll played a 'trust and
verify with your sibling' strategy with them.
As parents, we have never discussed these sorts of interpersonal issues with them; this sort of thing hasn't been part their experience thus far, and now they need a crash course.
You call him CrudeBoy in the post but CreepyBoy in the title and in your response - has he done something crude or creepy?
When I edited my version for public viewing, I was undecided on what to name the boy. Both were in my head, as I have never encountered a child like him so up close and personal. Knowing his back story, either appellation could work. Sorry for confusing things; I should edit the title for continuity, if that's possible.
I did not and will not send the letter. I appreciate all your thoughts on why it would be a bad idea. Causing more problems for my children is the last thing I want to do. I've been away from home all day, and we've been out since after school, so I'm still catching up on this thread. Thing2 had a band program this evening, where the principal approached me there to ask how they liked their new school. I told her that they like it, not wanting to go into any details on what I discussed with the teachers. I'm sure she's already aware of the conversations, and I really do not want to be. that. parent. And I really, really do not want to get caught up in pre-teen drama-trauma-o-rama. Been there, didn't like it. Don't want to redux.
ETA: I am glad that I had both my girls help me reconstruct the events if only to sort out what exactly has been happening. I know that the only resolution lies with DH and I giving them the tools to help them in this and future situations.