Etiquette School is in session! > "What an interesting assumption."

Mother's visit

(1/4) > >>

jamie1982:
Hi there

I hope this doesn't run too long and will try to be brief.  I moved to Canada a few months ago with my wife and I know my parents were disappointed to see me go.  About a month ago my Dad in particular made his views very clear (offensively so) that living with my in laws was being 'in a nest of vipers' and they would soon turn against me.  Although less vocal my Mom made her displeasure clear too.  She subsequently invited herself here but as there are no spare bedrooms (my sister in law is also staying here whilst her house is being built) I made it clear she would have to stay in a hotel room.  I'm not quite sure why but they ended up insisting I book the hotel room, about $800.  As I've not been working for 6 months money, although not desperately tight, is not exactly in abundance, and I wonder how to broach the subject of whether they plan to reimburse the cost.  My wife, who has a good paying job, isn't very impressed with either the support they gave us when we lived in my original country (I had some major health issues and they rarely visited) and now seem keen to interfere as we make a new life here.  Personally, I can't afford to pay her hotel bill and a flight home at Christmas, and nor do I feel particularly keen to do so anyway.  I'm sure if I say that it will be interpreted as my wife's interference, but I share many of her frustrations with my parents.  Anyone have any suggestions?  We're generally not a family which confront issues like this head on.

rain:
you need to develope a spine - tell your parents you need the money by ___ date or you will have to cancell the hotel as you can't afford it at this time.


(((hugs))) to you and your DW

Deetee:
Almost every hotel I have stayed at requires a credit card to hold the reservation but you don't get charged until you stay ( or get a one night charge if you  do not show up and haven't cancelled 24 to 48 hours beforehand)

So you can ask your mom for money up front and cancel the hotel room if she won't.


What I would do ( if this were me) is assume that I have $800 to spend to visit my parents. If it goes to a hotel they don't pay me back for the hotel no problem. I won't visit for Christmas and I'll mention why if asked.

I would keep my wife out of it by making it clear this was my decision.

Pippen:

--- Quote from: Deetee on September 29, 2012, 12:39:10 PM ---Almost every hotel I have stayed at requires a credit card to hold the reservation but you don't get charged until you stay ( or get a one night charge if you  do not show up and haven't cancelled 24 to 48 hours beforehand)

So you can ask your mom for money up front and cancel the hotel room if she won't.


What I would do ( if this were me) is assume that I have $800 to spend to visit my parents. If it goes to a hotel they don't pay me back for the hotel no problem. I won't visit for Christmas and I'll mention why if asked.

I would keep my wife out of it by making it clear this was my decision.

--- End quote ---

I would ring the hotel and ask them about their occupancy rates. Reservations give you peace of mind but aren't really necessary in most cases. Cancel the booking and tell her you will wait for her to arrive and you can look for some last minute deals on the net, using her card. You say she invited herself so it really is up to her to pay for her own accommodation. If it does fall to you to pay for it I wouldn't mention getting paid back but as you said just lt her know you simply don't have it in your budget to go home for Christmas.

MummySweet:
Find a hotel that will allow you to make an unsecured reservation (a room held only until a certain time).  Call or email your Mom with the hotel information and reservation number and tell her that she will have to call the hotel to secure/confirm the reservation.    If either of your parents balk at this, just remind them that she planned this trip and that you are not in the position to pay for it.   

If you must secure the reservation with a credit card, tell the hotel that this card is only to be used to hold the room.  The occupant will be paying the bill.   Make sure the hotel writes this in the reservation comments and request an emailed copy of the reservation that shows the comments.   Tell your Mom that the room is confirmed for arrival and that payment will be due at check in.   

I know that your family doesn't have a history or addressing issues head on, but in this case it needs to be clear who is paying the bill before your Mom arrives.   If it isn't you are likely to be stuck making the payment.

Good luck!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version