Etiquette School is in session! > "What an interesting assumption."

Mother's visit

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Cancel whatever reservation you have made. Seriously. If your parents decide to not pay the bill, it will automatically be billed to the credi card you used to reserve the room.

Rather than making a reservation for them, get info together for a couple of hotels and send it to your parents, advising them to make their own reservation.

Considering their displeasure with you and your wife right now, it would be a really bad idea to open yourself to the possibility that they might stick you with the bill.

I'm thinking along the same lines of MummySweet. Another option is to call up your parents with the prices of the room for the dates they want and ask them for their credit card info so you can go ahead and make the reservation. If they balk, then something like "Oh I thought you were going to pay as I'm not working. It seems like this visit isn't going to work out. Maybe you can visit us at a later time."

We're generally not a family which confront issues like this head on.

Sometimes that can work to your advantage. My mom's family is like this. In our case it wasn't a bad thing, it was just more subtle communication style. For us that meant if anyone actually came out and said something directly and bluntly, it was taken that much more seriously. Is it the same for you? If it is, consider setting a point at which you will speak bluntly. I'm thinking when they start blaming your wife, directly or indirectly. ;) Then whip out a direct, forceful command for them not to badmouth her or imply bad things about her or whatever works in your situation. Just a thought... :)

I agree with O'Dell. If you act like it's the most natural thing in the world that they will be putting this on their card and be assertive there can't be any chance of a "misunderstanding" about who is paying. Based on how nasty your parents are I woudn't be surprised if they tryto stick you with the bill since they think you should have been hosting them, so they shouldn't have to pay for a hotel.

Welcome to Canada!

I was just about to post what SamiHami did. You can do a little research since you are there and know the hotels, their locations, and what amenities they have. Send that information to your mom along with the contact information for the hotels' reservations lines. If she wants to visit you have made it easier for her to make her arrangements but are asking her to do the work herself. It leaves you (and your wife) out of it entirely.

I agree with those who suggest asking your parents for their credit card, if they want you to make their hotel arrangements - or offer to email information on nearby hotels with contact info to allow them to choose and reserve the room.

If they object to either offer, it would be pretty clear, from my POV, that they expect you to pay for the room, perhaps expecting this as your "hospitality" for their visit. 

If you are okay with paying for the room in lieu of visiting them, I would make that clear - you have a set amount budgeted over the year for purposes of seeing them, do they prefer the hotel in your new area of residence, or that you visit them in their country this year - make it an either/or and let them decide, but make clear that "both" is not an option.

If you reserve a room on your credit card, their is no assurance that your parents will take the necessary action to have their credit card charged for the stay, and you could be stuck.


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