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Author Topic: Absurd requests/demands  (Read 92299 times)

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BarensMom

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #240 on: October 20, 2012, 08:16:01 AM »
I stopped doing cross-stitch a while ago (don't seem to have the time anymore).  But when I did, friends and family frequently asked 'Is that for me?" when they saw me making something.  Without any hint of the project being for them, they were basically just asking for the item in my hands.  And when I said no, that I had other plans for it, they got really huffy.   "Well, when ARE you going to make me something?"

It got pretty annoying.
I'm sure it would be very annoying, if they meant it!
But this reminded me of a happy family memory. My oldest aunt was making a Cathedral Windows quilt. This involves a lot of handwork, so she was carrying it with her to all the family gatherings. Each of her SILs would joke that she was making it for HER. My aunt would just smile. This went on for a couple of years.
Then, one day, a large box arrived at our house. My mother opened it, and it was the Cathedral Windows quilt. She sat down on the porch steps with the quilt in her lap, and cried.
Mom still uses the quilt on her bed.

What a lovely story.  A word of warning, though:  Make sure that your mom specifies in writing who inherits the quilt.

My grandmother used to quilt by hand.  After she died, my mother took many of the quilts and kept them at her house.  After mom died, my sisters were looking for Grandma's quilts and only found 6-7, when there should have been 20.  Due to my brother's behavior when the remaining quilts were laid out, my sisters suspect that brother, his horrid wife, or his witch of a daughter were coming to Mom's while she was in the hospital and taking them out 1-2 at a time.  I know for a fact that the daughter took at least 3 out of the house before Mom's illness.

Each and every quilt that was laid out, my brother would try to claim as "Mom said (wife or daughter) could have that."  My sisters put a stop to it, saying, "We and our children are just as much entitled to the quilts as your family, so we're taking these."

Neither Brother or his family bother to keep in touch with us anymore.  Wonder why?

Jocelyn

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #241 on: October 20, 2012, 12:15:58 PM »
Barensmom,
I have two sisters. Two of us have no children; the third has kids who aren't particularly interested in decorating with quilts. The three of us have already survived the downsizing from the house where we grew up to a townhouse, and from the townhouse to assisted living, without any quarrels. The closest we came was when one sister and I wanted the embroidered bedspread our GGM had made for our mother when she was a girl, and the handmade items from our grandmother's trousseau. I told my sister I'd be happy with either group, and she should choose which group she wanted. She took the bedspread. And she puts it on my bed whenever I go to visit.
I realize that some families turn nasty, but we've agreed that we're not willing to burn family relationships over things...

AmethystAnne

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #242 on: October 20, 2012, 01:27:07 PM »
^ ^ ^

Joselyn, you've got a lovely family.

Cathedral windows quilts are beautiful, and mostly hand-stitched.

camlan

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #243 on: October 20, 2012, 05:19:04 PM »
I've seen Cathedral Window quilts and they are beautiful.

I've read the instructions for making them--they are intricate and involve a lot of handsewing. I'd love one, but I don't think I have the patience to make one.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Dazi

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #244 on: October 20, 2012, 08:07:36 PM »
The "you stole my chair" reminded me of this gem...

I once worked in an office where my chair was one of those wooden barstools with no back and no cushioning.  It was horrid on a regular basis, but shear agony after I suffered a back injury.  I couldn't get my cheap bacon-fed knave manager to replace it, HR refused to get involved.  I finally got so (Oh, I'm a pottymouth extraordinaire!) fed up, I went and bought my own chair.

My manager threw quite the hissy fit because I now had a nicer chair than him.  He tried swapping them.  I swapped them back and told him he stole my personal property and if he did it again I would file theft charges against him.  He was just astounded that I would be offended that he borrowed my chair.

I actually labeled the underside of the seat with "this chair is the personal property of Dazi, purchased xx/xx/xxxx from Office Depot" and I kept the receipt.  When I left that job, I took my chair with me.  The manager had security stop and demanded that I leave it as it was company property.  Security happily let me leave with my chair when I had them flip the chair to read the quite old label and a copy of the receipt and warranty in my name.  Boy was he livid pissed.

So glad I quit that job.  BTW, this was the same manager that demanded I cut my wedding/honeymoon short.  He was such a wingadingdingy.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Jocelyn

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #245 on: October 20, 2012, 08:27:30 PM »
I've seen Cathedral Window quilts and they are beautiful.

I've read the instructions for making them--they are intricate and involve a lot of handsewing. I'd love one, but I don't think I have the patience to make one.
There are instructions for doing a lot of the work on machine. But turning the windows is pretty much a hand task, which is why Aunt Lula carried it around, in pieces, for a couple of years. ;)

Luci

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #246 on: October 20, 2012, 09:46:42 PM »
The "you stole my chair" reminded me of this gem...

I once worked in an office where my chair was one of those wooden barstools with no back and no cushioning.  It was horrid on a regular basis, but shear agony after I suffered a back injury.  I couldn't get my cheap bacon-fed knave manager to replace it, HR refused to get involved.  I finally got so (Oh, I'm a pottymouth extraordinaire!) fed up, I went and bought my own chair.

My manager threw quite the hissy fit because I now had a nicer chair than him.  He tried swapping them.  I swapped them back and told him he stole my personal property and if he did it again I would file theft charges against him.  He was just astounded that I would be offended that he borrowed my chair.

I actually labeled the underside of the seat with "this chair is the personal property of Dazi, purchased xx/xx/xxxx from Office Depot" and I kept the receipt.  When I left that job, I took my chair with me.  The manager had security stop and demanded that I leave it as it was company property.  Security happily let me leave with my chair when I had them flip the chair to read the quite old label and a copy of the receipt and warranty in my name.  Boy was he livid pissed.

So glad I quit that job.  BTW, this was the same manager that demanded I cut my wedding/honeymoon short.  He was such a wingadingdingy.

Hmmmm. Sounds as if you are still a tad upset about that. I am sure you were gracious and calm and clearly spoken at all the confrontations, and congratulate you on planning ahead and knowing that security would stop you. I hope you are still enjoying that chair as you write to us on eHell!

Minmom3

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #247 on: October 20, 2012, 09:47:00 PM »
I stopped doing cross-stitch a while ago (don't seem to have the time anymore).  But when I did, friends and family frequently asked 'Is that for me?" when they saw me making something.  Without any hint of the project being for them, they were basically just asking for the item in my hands.  And when I said no, that I had other plans for it, they got really huffy.   "Well, when ARE you going to make me something?"

It got pretty annoying.
I'm sure it would be very annoying, if they meant it!
But this reminded me of a happy family memory. My oldest aunt was making a Cathedral Windows quilt. This involves a lot of handwork, so she was carrying it with her to all the family gatherings. Each of her SILs would joke that she was making it for HER. My aunt would just smile. This went on for a couple of years.
Then, one day, a large box arrived at our house. My mother opened it, and it was the Cathedral Windows quilt. She sat down on the porch steps with the quilt in her lap, and cried.
Mom still uses the quilt on her bed.

Was your Mom the ONLY one who didn't pester your Aunt?  Quilts take a Long Time.  I'm on my 3rd baby quilt (much delayed, the little girl turns 4 in January...) for my best friend's daughter.  Daughter has just announced her 5th pregnancy.  Grandma (my best friend) asked me if I would be making a quilt for #4 and #5.  ... ... ...  I reminded her that when I started the quilt for #3, that I said this was the last one, I didn't care how many children her daughter went on to have.  3 baby quilts in one family was my limit.  It's not that her daughter isn't grateful, at all.  She is VERY grateful.  But 3 quilts is enough, it's time for me to make quilts for other people! 
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #248 on: October 20, 2012, 10:20:28 PM »
This is the story of how I was uninvited from my own trip by a third party.

DH and I go to a tattoo artist about 2 hours away. We are both getting new tattoos, and DH's cousin Billy wants to get one as well. We made an appointment to go see our tattoo guy next month. We asked DH's sister Marie to watch our DS for the day (we will pay her) and I took time off work.

Billy and Marie are close, and apparently Billy told Marie it would be okay if she and DS came along with us. It's completely ridiculous to take a 2-year-old to an all-day tattooing appointment, even if you do have someone there to watch him. And we know that if DH and I are there, Marie won't actually watch DS much at all. There is also a logistics issue, so Marie going was pretty much impossible. [Billy didn't think things through, but he was just clueless.] So DH talked to Marie and explained why it really wouldn't work out. Since she wanted to go along to spend time with DH and Billy, they agreed that they will hang out all together another time. Everything was fine and dandy, until...

DH got a call from Joe, Marie's boyfriend. Joe lit into DH about how it's "just not right" to exclude Marie, how he shouldn't be using her (by paying her $10/hour and a free oil change?), and said that we need to find a way to include her. Remember that this is about logistics as much as the fact that Marie was going to be watching DS.

Finally Joe says, "Well, I'm sure CakeBeret won't mind then." Mind what, you ask? "She'll have to stay home with DS so Marie can go."

Oh no. Oh heck no. This is the trip that *I* planned. The trip that I took time off work for. The trip on which I'm supposed to be getting a tattoo. But Joe thinks I should spend my time off work staying home with DS so Marie can go and hang out. If Marie doesn't want to watch DS, that's fine, we can find another sitter, no problem. But I'm not staying home just so she can go on *my* trip.

DH replied, "You have got to be out of your [expletive] mind." Joe said no he wasn't, it was the only solution. DH hung up on him.

As it turns out, Marie is now furious with Joe for interfering, because she is perfectly fine with not going. She agrees that it's ridiculous to expect me to stay home. So we're proceeding according to plan and everyone except Joe is happy.

Once upon a time, I did end up babysitting someone else's toddler in the parlor while they got inked.  What happened was that DH had entered a chess tourney that took place somewhere in a park in San Diego.  So I wouldn't get bored, he invited some friends along I could hang out with and they brought their cute but very shrieky 2 year old.  We had fun for most of the day, then they decided that since they were in the city (we all lived at Camp Pendleton, about a 1/2hr-45 minute drive north) they'd get their ink worked on.  Since I was riding with them, I kinda ended up stuck sitting for their kid and trying to either settle her down or chase her around the small parlor while her folks got inked or watched each other get inked. 

They also tried to talk me into getting inked. At the time I wasn't interested. Had no design in mind, didn't have the money, and I will admit, was a total chicken about the needle aspect of it.  These "friends" said "Oh just pick something!" I said "No, I want it to mean something."  Finally they gave up, but oh, suddenly sitting and watching chess sounded far more interesting.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Jocelyn

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #249 on: October 20, 2012, 11:01:15 PM »


Was your Mom the ONLY one who didn't pester your Aunt?   
No, Mom and all the aunts were a part of the joke. I don't think any of them ever imagined that my aunt would consider giving the quilt away. My family kids around a lot. It was partially a way of expressing their admiration for the work, and partially a way to tease the other SILs 'She's making it for me, you know.' 'No, she's making it for ME!'
When this aunt married my mother's oldest brother, Mom was still a little girl. She was the only daughter, so they were particularly close. I think that's why Mom got the quilt- my aunt was closer to her than to the other SILs, having known her so much longer.

twiggy

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #250 on: October 21, 2012, 02:21:30 PM »
I remember a story from xh. We had been separated for over a year, but the divorce wasn't final yet because of custody issues. And he was working for his step-father, under the table, so he reported super low income levels to get out of paying child support.

One day he called me and said that his sister was heading over to my place to get my zoo membership card. Not even asking, just telling me that she would be there in about 15 min and needed the card. I, of course, said no. Mind you, we had been separated for over a year now, so my current membership would have been paid for entirely by me. Also, I wasn't even home at the moment. To top it off, members need to present their card and ID so that people don't just hand off their cards to other people to get them into the zoo for free. xh then told me that if I wasn't home, I would have to drive to the zoo (45min away), and give his sister my card and driver's license. Yeah, there's no way that was going to happen.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Snooks

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #251 on: October 21, 2012, 02:39:10 PM »
I remember a story from xh. We had been separated for over a year, but the divorce wasn't final yet because of custody issues. And he was working for his step-father, under the table, so he reported super low income levels to get out of paying child support.

One day he called me and said that his sister was heading over to my place to get my zoo membership card. Not even asking, just telling me that she would be there in about 15 min and needed the card. I, of course, said no. Mind you, we had been separated for over a year now, so my current membership would have been paid for entirely by me. Also, I wasn't even home at the moment. To top it off, members need to present their card and ID so that people don't just hand off their cards to other people to get them into the zoo for free. xh then told me that if I wasn't home, I would have to drive to the zoo (45min away), and give his sister my card and driver's license. Yeah, there's no way that was going to happen.

And your face presumably, unless your SIL could pass for you that plan was never going to work!

twiggy

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #252 on: October 21, 2012, 03:21:54 PM »
I remember a story from xh. We had been separated for over a year, but the divorce wasn't final yet because of custody issues. And he was working for his step-father, under the table, so he reported super low income levels to get out of paying child support.

One day he called me and said that his sister was heading over to my place to get my zoo membership card. Not even asking, just telling me that she would be there in about 15 min and needed the card. I, of course, said no. Mind you, we had been separated for over a year now, so my current membership would have been paid for entirely by me. Also, I wasn't even home at the moment. To top it off, members need to present their card and ID so that people don't just hand off their cards to other people to get them into the zoo for free. xh then told me that if I wasn't home, I would have to drive to the zoo (45min away), and give his sister my card and driver's license. Yeah, there's no way that was going to happen.

And your face presumably, unless your SIL could pass for you that plan was never going to work!

XSIL and I look nothing alike. She's a tall Irish redhead with curly hair, freckles, and fair skin. I'm a short Native American with straight, almost black hair and a darker skintone. Not to mention she has a lot more piercings than I. And tattoos, but those wouldn't show in the DL pic
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

nuit93

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #253 on: October 21, 2012, 05:49:55 PM »
I have another one from about a decade ago.  A bit of backstory, my mother's second husband (who technically was my stepfather from the time I was 9 until 19 but he never really deserved the title) had something of a violent temper and was prone to irrational rage.  So, naturally, they divorced (finally).

He had visitation rights with my sister once a week, and part of the agreement was that mom would pick her up afterwards.  I went along because I wasn't working that evening, and due to his behavior on past visits mom had been advised not to pick her up alone--bring a witness.  :o  We got there about five minutes early so we waited in the minivan until it was precisely the time to pick her up, figuring that he'd just use that last five minutes to spend with his child.  Ya know, like rational people would.

Nope--instead he came out raging, yelling about how we were infringing on his rights as a father, assorted insults and four-letter words, you name it.  We had to roll the window up before he could reach in and hurt one of us, and he banged so hard on the window that I thought he'd break it.  He storms back inside, but not before grabbing the antenna of the van and bending it to a 90-degree angle.  We call the police.

He comes out a few moments later telling us that HE had called the police to report this "harassment".  Mom calmly informed him that we had too, and he got a brief look on his face of realization that he might actually be in trouble, so he bent that antenna back.  It's still damaged.


We finally got my sister and headed home, and got an estimate for fixing the antenna of the van.  A week later we get a call from mom's ex-husband.  To this day I remember that conversation.

Him: "Now, *mom's name*, I'm sorry things had to go the way they did, but I can take care of it.  All you need to let me do is take the van-"
Mom: "No.  It's my van, in my name, what makes you think I'd take a vehicle that YOU damaged to take to be fixed?"
Him: "I was TRYING to be nice and helpful about this, but if you're going to be such a c-word (he didn't use the edited version) about this then you can just forget about my help!".

She did eventually get a restraining order against him...which ended up being pointless since the one time he violated it, the cops refused to do anything about it.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Absurd requests/demands
« Reply #254 on: October 21, 2012, 05:52:26 PM »
 :o That's scary!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata