Absurd requests/demands

[siamesecat2965]

I've told this story before, but it fits here.

I got a call from another department in the hospital asking for work load figures for a particular time period for my section.  Since I kept those on an Excel spreadsheet and updated them monthly I e-mailed the department a copy. 

Then I got a call back and was told,  "This needs to be typed up on letterhead." 

I said, "Go ahead." 

"We have a short suspense!"  Meaning they needed to do it fast. 

I said, "Then you'd better get started on it."

"You mean you aren't going to do this for us?"

I said, "No, I'm not.  I provided you with my work load figures, as you asked, but I'm not going to do your work for you."

Besides, I knew what would happen:  I'd type it up, and it'd be bounced back to me six times for changes, and the other department would get all the credit for my work.  So I was going to stop it before it got started.

Believe me, I knew what would happen because I had been through it.  I typed up a list of approved abbreviations as a favor to my boss, and I was still getting that paper boomerang back three years later.  Seriously.  People would call me up and demand to know why I had put X abbreviation on there instead of Y abbreviation, and I'd tell them, "Hey, I'm just the typist.  You need to talk to Colonel Painintheneck, who's the project officer."  I did notice, however, that once I started referring people to him I got a lot fewer phone calls.

Sounds a lot like what my CW, Useless likes and tries to do.  He's responsible for putting together something, I think, on a monthly basis for our BOD. A very brief rundown of what's gone on, and what our company has been involved in.  This information is readily available from our weeklly internal pubs, and its just a matter of picking out the most important ones, and putting them in a document.

without fail, he comes over each month to try and ask each of us if we can "put something together" for him for HIS assignment.  And every month we politely tell him no, and that the info he needs CAN be found and he will need to look there.

He is not AS familiar with teh material as we are, however, he puts absolutely no effot into anything, is lazier than anyone I've ever worked for, and seems to think we are all at his beck and call to do his bidding.  Now, had he actually drafted something, and THEN asked if we could give it a once over, no problem, but I and my other CWs are NOT going to do your job for you.

The great mystery is why, after 7 or so years here, and being shuffled around, and having stuff taken away from him due to his (i think) deliberate incompetance, he still has a job.

[Sirius]

What really mystified me was that they were asking me for information that they'd already told me was going to a third party.  I provided them with the information - and then they came back and told me how they needed it submitted to their third party?  Not happening.  I wasn't the one asked for the information - they were. 

Most people who asked for my work load figures were very happy with my spreadsheet.

[BabyMama]

So my flatmate resigned from his part time job because apparently doing your job properly upsets other employees. This has left them completely in the poo as all their staff are dropping like flies and they are too useless to manage the situation. He has done everything he is required to with regards to working out his notice and they are fully aware his last day is today. Apparently they are snippy with him because he won't work next weekend. Even if he felt so inclined, he can't because he has his BIL's wedding to go to. The GM actually asked him to miss the wedding to "help them out".

Yeah. Right. Can't see that happening. Do people really think these requests are reasonable when they ask them?

I had something similar happen with the job I had in college. It was part-time, 4 hours a day, pretty flexible shifts. After I'd worked there a semester, it turned out that one of my classes I needed to graduate (and it was my last or second to last semester, and the class was only offered every other semester) was held during my shift. I asked my supervisor if I could possibly switch shifts, or even just on those days I had class. He agreed, and I finished registering. Good, right?

A couple weeks later I had my review. I was called out for "not being a team player" and "inflexible" in my schedule, and was asked to "consider what I wanted my future in the company to be." Um, let's see. College degree, or temporary, part-time job...that was a hard one

How ever could you give up such a treasure of a job?! And for something as fleeting as a degree? Shame, shame. 

Why Kimblee, it paid $8/hour AND offered a 401K! (Because I had so much left over after my 20 hour a week paycheck that I could afford to contribute to it...) It also gave paid vacation--that I was later chastised for using.

Wow... really lost a gem there, eh?

It's hilarious in retrospect. Like when I think of that same review where I was spoken to about "those days I just randomly didn't show up for work." You mean my paid time off that I lose if I don't use? Those days?  Apparently I was expected to cherish those days from afar but never actually touch them.

[Miss Misery]

I've told this story before, but it fits here.

I got a call from another department in the hospital asking for work load figures for a particular time period for my section.  Since I kept those on an Excel spreadsheet and updated them monthly I e-mailed the department a copy. 

Then I got a call back and was told,  "This needs to be typed up on letterhead." 

I said, "Go ahead." 

"We have a short suspense!"  Meaning they needed to do it fast. 

I said, "Then you'd better get started on it."

"You mean you aren't going to do this for us?"

I said, "No, I'm not.  I provided you with my work load figures, as you asked, but I'm not going to do your work for you."

Besides, I knew what would happen:  I'd type it up, and it'd be bounced back to me six times for changes, and the other department would get all the credit for my work.  So I was going to stop it before it got started.

Believe me, I knew what would happen because I had been through it.  I typed up a list of approved abbreviations as a favor to my boss, and I was still getting that paper boomerang back three years later.  Seriously.  People would call me up and demand to know why I had put X abbreviation on there instead of Y abbreviation, and I'd tell them, "Hey, I'm just the typist.  You need to talk to Colonel Painintheneck, who's the project officer."  I did notice, however, that once I started referring people to him I got a lot fewer phone calls.

Many moons ago I worked as a secretary at a University. A student asked me to type up her homework because she was "slow" at typing.

 

Believe me, I nipped that in the bud really quick! It's not my fault or my problem if you can't type.

[alkira6]

Ooooh, I wanna play!

• The mother that expected me to drive to another state for a parent/teacher conference because they didn't feel like driving to the school during any of the times that we had official conferences. Considering that the PT days are from 8 am-4 and then 5-7 pm and are publicized by radio, the school website, letters home, and phone calls, I declined to drive 2 hours away from my house to talk to her for 15 minutes.
• A demand to come into work right now despite the fact that all but essential services had been canceled, there was 3 feet of snow on the ground, and no one would be there to let me in because of course the manager who was calling me in would not be there - look at the weather! I declined.
• the assistant principal who demanded that I attend a suddenly mandatory PD (professional Development) as I was walking out the door for the day. No, i will not be driving across town at the last minute to attend a PD with 3 minutes notice.

[Queen of Clubs]

Many moons ago I worked as a secretary at a University. A student asked me to type up her homework because she was "slow" at typing.

 

Believe me, I nipped that in the bud really quick! It's not my fault or my problem if you can't type.

And with practice she'd get quicker.

My absurd request isn't as bad as many of these.  I'd written an 80,000 word fanfic for a friend of mine as a gift for a major milestone she'd just achieved.  I posted it online, and promptly got an email from someone I'd never interracted with at all.

It was titled "Do me a favour" and the body of the email was "Write me a story with this plot [paragraph of plot]".

My first reaction was, "Who are you?"  The reply I sent was very polite, but basically boiled down to "no, and good luck finding someone else".

I'd spent months writing that story for my friend's huge achievement.  I wasn't about to spend that kind of time (or any time at all) writing a story for some random stranger.

[CrochetFanatic]

Ah, outrageous fanfic demands...    I once got one from someone who had already asked me three times to update a story I plainly labeled as being on "semi-permanent hiatus".  I answered the first update request very politely, and ignored the other two.  I got an email from this person threatening, "Update NOW, or I'll try to have your story removed from this site!  It's not FAIR to leave readers on pins and needles!  I'm busy too, but I don't leave my stories unfinished!!"  Bad spellings omitted here.  I replied with, "Okay, go ahead.  I've got your threatening email saved right here, and I've broken no site rules.  If I log in and find my story gone, I'll be emailing them a copy of your threat, along with an explanation.  Do not contact me again."

My story is still up, and I've never heard from her again. 

[Twik]

... last time I checked, having a family is NOT a good excuse to do something for one employee over another.

There was a time when "but they have a family" was relevant - when wages were so minimal that people with larger families risked starving to death, if they were paid the same as a single person, and there was no welfare system to serve as a safety net. Ebenezer Scrooge might consider (post reformation) throwing Bob Cratchit a couple more pennies to help support Tiny Tim. However, even our bad economy, this is unlikely these days.

[Jules1980]

I've gotten plenty of will you write requests.  I used to just turn them down, but now I turn them down with a nice why don't you try to write it statement.  Because truly, if its your plot idea, you likely won't love it when someone else writes it unless you communicate with them a lot on the minor plot points.  The one time I tried, I got lots of 'oh, but I wanted minor characterA to die and minor characterB and C to get together.'

[laud_shy_girl]

I worked in a library as an assistant. So I re shelved books, looked up books, ordered books and did bookish things like issue and return books. etc

I have been asked/told to...
Write some ones CV
Fill in application forms
Find long lost contacts "her name was Jane Smith or Smite or something. what do you mean Google doesn't work like that?!!!!elventy!!!11"
Write a family tree (not mine)
Write a letter and post it, while they dictate over the phone.
Use my personal phone number so people could get g-mail accounts.
Set up hot mail and g-mail accounts for people
Book holidays/buy cars/ apply for job-seekers/get insurance
Pay bills and help people log in to there on line banking.  yes they hand me all their log in stuff pass words and everything.
Scan enlarge and clean up 12 word searches, then print and photo copy them. (a good 2 hours work)

All while the patron reads the paper etc.

"I am afraid that is not possible." was my mantra.

[Miss Misery]

And with practice she'd get quicker.

My absurd request isn't as bad as many of these.  I'd written an 80,000 word fanfic for a friend of mine as a gift for a major milestone she'd just achieved.  I posted it online, and promptly got an email from someone I'd never interracted with at all.

It was titled "Do me a favour" and the body of the email was "Write me a story with this plot [paragraph of plot]".

My first reaction was, "Who are you?"  The reply I sent was very polite, but basically boiled down to "no, and good luck finding someone else".

I'd spent months writing that story for my friend's huge achievement.  I wasn't about to spend that kind of time (or any time at all) writing a story for some random stranger.

Don't even get me started on the random strangers who seem to think I'll just drop everything and spend hours of my free time and my materials drawing their wife/husband/dog/cat/monkey/houseplant for free just because they're so gosh-darn special.

If you want a drawing from me, my minimum price is $200.00. And no, I will not make an exception for you.

[weeblewobble]

"I know you don't know these people well, but they're friends of mine and I need someone to talk to at the wedding." - from my Crazy SIL, who wanted to invite a whole family of her friends (including two small children) to our wedding, and wouldn't accept our wishes that we didn't want children in the church during the ceremony. We provided a babysitter service in the church nursery, but SIL insisted her friends wouldn't like that and I should make an exception because the kids were "very well-behaved." Trust me, I'd met those kids.  No, they weren't.

And also, SIL was related to a good portion of the guests at our wedding, why couldn't she talk to them?

"What do you mean you need Saturday off to go to your sister's wedding?  I don't care if you requested that day off a month ago!" - My insane boss, who chewed me out in front of the entire office for daring to ask him to change the schedule.  Never mind that I was the first to work weird holiday shifts or early morning shifts.  I wasn't a team-player, he said, and I needed to stop being so selfish.

[Pippen]

On from my insane boss. She had flown British Airways to the States in business class. On the return flight they were out of the nuts she liked and there was a small issue with something on her chair in that it went only back 80 percent of the way. This simply was not good enough and she demanded I speak to someone very senior at BA to voice her extreme displeasure and see what they were going to do about it.

I just flat out refused and told her see was being a drama queen and to let it go as no good could come of it. That did not go down well. If there was a gold medal for holding grudges and getting all bent out of shape over pointless things you couldn't change this woman was world champion.

[Dazi]

A personal, non work related story...

I had free loading relative beg to move in with me as I had a vacant room.  He agreed to pay XXX towards rent, utilities and food.  All was well for a few months and then I started getting complaints from my landlady...then he stopped paying me.

He got pissed when I kicked him out and went whining to other family members who told me I must let him stay with me for free, feed him for free and basically play maid for free because I made such good money and he was FAMILYYYYYYYYY.  They didn't much like it when I informed them all he made a dollar an hour more than I did and if they insisted that he live with me, they could fork over his room and board money.


Sadly, I did not learn and some years later allowed him to move back in with me.  Yeah, it was almost an exact repeat.  He will NEVER live with me again.

[VorFemme]

Not to disrespect people of faith, but I have found that around 50 percent of the time people say, "I've prayed about this" whatever follows is somewhat insane.

Being a preacher's daughter - I have learned to differentiate between people who are saying "I've prayed about this" who are truly pious enough that I believe them.....and people who I've never seen live a good example but seem to think that if they say "I've prayed about this" that it is along the lines of a "get out of jail free" card of some kind for whatever really off the wall comment is about to come out of them.  That said, I'd go with 60% of the people using it are about to say something either quaintly old fashioned (say, 18th century) or outrageous (you need to do what I tell you because *diety of my choice* told me to tell you to do what I said).  Then maybe forty percent or less will say something that sounds like they might really have thought about it long & hard, prayed about it, and decided that it really is the ethical, moral, or philosophically proper thing for them to advocate doing (or not doing). 

Like the people who refuse to give electric shocks during an experiment (when the real test is whether or not the person who thinks that they are giving shocks will stop at what they are told is a mild level of pain or a higher level of pain - and how high will they turn he fake dial while their supposed subject carries on about how painful the "shocK" is).  That one I can respect.

Telling me that *SS Pious Pretentious* doesn't have to pay taxes, follow driving rules, or pay a living wage to all their employees.....well, I'm going to have to pray about whether or not I believe them.  For several weeks, possibly.

I'm not cynical.  I feel that  am a realist.  Well, maybe a slightly cynical realist.