With "Friends" Like These... But Is He Right?

[SuperMartianRobotGirl]

My guess is that he couldn't get STBX to pay, so he figured he'd try to bully you.

[MrsJWine]

That's really weird. If the baby is young enough not to be able to go on overnight visits with her own dad, I'm pretty surprised that the venue would charge for her admission. Most places don't start doing that before a year of age, usually more like two years. I wonder if you're getting the real story.

[LeveeWoman]

I have to wonder if STBX and Friend were in cahoots to get you to fund their fun...

I'd bet this month's mortgage payment on that.

[Tiamet]

If you pay this time, you'd better be prepared to keep paying because you can expect a bill from your ex and his friends each time he takes your daughter.

It sometimes happens that an absent parent is the 'good time Dad' (because this is usually a father, although not always) while the person with primary custody has to be the disciplinarian, but expecting the ex to fund Dad being the 'fun one' while being unable to fund interesting outings herself because all the spare cash has gone to the ex is appalling.

In other words, DO NOT PAY.  And yes, I'm yelling because I'm so disgusted at both your ex and his friend.  Unless your custody agreement says differently (and if you aren't Halle Berry in disguise, I doubt it), you have no obligation to fund activities when your daughter is with her father.

[Queen of Clubs]

Of course, the end of the phone call was not particularly civil, what with Friend snarling that he now understood why my STBXH who is such a great guy is divorcing me. I just said that I was sorry he felt that way, please don't ever call me again, thanks and goodbye.

I'm not surprised that STBXH did this, because he did it all the time while we were married and it's one of the reasons for the divorce. I'm just stunned at the request.

Aaaand I suspect all of his friends are pretty soon going to find out what a mooch STBXH is!  I hope they polish up their steel spines quickly and start telling him no.

If that's the calibre of 'friend' who's siding with your ex, good riddence to them.  The nerve of phoning you and expecting you to hand over money to cover your ex's day out!

As for your actual question: no, not in a million years.  Babymoss has two parents, one of whom was on that trip - that's who should have paid for Babymoss to get into that waterpark.  Your ex's recently-incurred debts aren't your responsibility, and neither is his friends' lack of spine.

[doodlemor]

I would yell too, but it would hurt my eyes.

Don't you dare give these creeps a red cent!  This behavior is outrageous!  I wouldn't be surprised if STBX is somehow behind it.  If not, it certainly shows the caliber of his friends. 

If ever you start thinking nostalgically about STBXH, turn your mind back to this ridiculous incident.  You deserve much, much better treatment, and I bet that there will be good things and great people in your future.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[SuperMartianRobotGirl]

Another thought. Maybe he told his friend something like, "I give donnamos2 child support, and that should pay for this. Get it from her."

 

[artk2002]

You don't owe STBX or his friend anything. Expenses incurred while he has Babymoss are his responsibility, unless some arrangement has been made in advance. My ex and I cover stuff for each other all the time, but neither of us is trying to take advantage of the other. Someone (or several someones) is trying to take advantage of you.

Sadly, he will use this to trash you. Stay strong and polite.

[Iris]

I have to wonder if STBX and Friend were in cahoots to get you to fund their fun...

I'd bet this month's mortgage payment on that.

I would not take that bet....

And Donnamos2 - NO! You don't owe them one red cent. I am furious that they would even ask!

Congratulations on your divorce from what seems to be one of the world's saddest jerks and his jerky bunch of jerky friends.

[Amava]

The most important thing with people who are trying to take advantage of you, is to not give them a precedent. If you pay up once, they'll be back.

Good that you nipped it in the bud. Don't second-guess yourself in this matter.

[Bookgirl]

I have to say, I agree with MrsJWine.  I'm assuming that the baby isn't old enough to spend the night with her own father because she's still mostly tied to you for nourishment.  So, I'm guessing under a year old (correct me if I'm wrong!) 

I would be really surprised if the waterpark charges full price admission for what is essentially a babe in arms, or even half admission.  We've taken our kids to a lot of amusement parks and Disney is the one that starts charging earliest at 2 years old. 

I also can't imagine that the baby ate all that much real adult food, certainly not a full price adult meal, right?  I know the food at those places is terribly expensive so I just can't imagine ordering a full meal for someone who is less that a year old and might not even be on all solid food. 

Something tells me that you aren't getting the full truthful story OP.  The friend who called, is he generally a trustworthy person?  It seems to me that your Ex and this friend are trying to get some money out of you by giving you this hard to believe story.  Is that a possibility?  No matter what, don't give anyone any money! 

[NyaChan]

I am so angry on your behalf.  These people are completely out of line in a truly shocking way - I say that you are well rid of both your ex & the friends who chose his camp.

[BarensMom]

This sort of thing is why soon-to-be-divorced couples would each put a notice in the paper denying all responsibility for the other's debts way back when.  Do people still do that?

[ChiGirl]

"You need to speak to her father about that."

Might as well practice saying it now, because I sense you'll be saying it quite often...

[Winterlight]

Of course, the end of the phone call was not particularly civil, what with Friend snarling that he now understood why my STBXH who is such a great guy is divorcing me. I just said that I was sorry he felt that way, please don't ever call me again, thanks and goodbye.

If STBXH is so great, why didn't he bring any money with him in the first place and avoid sticking his friends with the bill? Failing that, why didn't he pay them back ASAP?

Unless you agreed in advance to cover a specific sum (and always get specific sums, don't let him have a blank check) you owe nothing.

At least one good thing came out of this- JerkFriend won't be calling you again!