My question is basically; At what point do offers of help become too pushy? What are Ehellions personal preferences on this?
The situation is: I have a friend who is really struggling at the moment. I haven't seen her as much as usual recently because we were both busy (I thought). However a few weeks ago I invited her to an activity I know she enjoys and she said she maybe couldn't make it, but would try to get there, and added that she was feeling really down at the moment. From the words she used I suspect she has been diagnosed with depression. She didn't make the activity in the end and although she told me that afternoon that she was still going to try and make it didn't text or anything when she didn't. No problem etiquette wise, she knew it was a group thing so I wouldn't be on my own or anything, but it isn't like her.
After a few days I texted her to say "Missed you the other night, want to catch up for coffee or something?". She then messaged me on fb letting me know the whole situation - basically they are flat broke, she's struggling with depression and a big part of that is that she is finding it so difficult to leave the house with no money and lots of kids, and mentioned that any catch up would have to be free and suit taking the kids. I messaged her back and provided a number of suggestions a few actually free, but I also suggested other things (dinner, the activity we both enjoy) and told her it would be my honour to pay for her and let me know what would be best for her.
Anyway, I know she read the message about 3 days ago but I haven't heard anything back. Now I am worried I've offended her, but I'm also worried that she's just too down to make the effort to reply. We have a very strict 'girl code' so contacting her husband to organise a night out is out of the question. DH suggested that I just ring her and say "Right. I'm taking you out. I'll pick you up at X o'clock" or something, but that seems rude and pushy to me.
So I'd love to hear from ehellions, particularly those of you who have gone through similar rough times. I really think that she needs to get out of the house - in fact she said so. But should she be left to do it at her own pace? Am I ignoring a cry for help or taking a hint? Argh! I'm dreadful in these situations unfortunately, so please help