By "teasing" do you mean playful insults? That combined with the wrestling could make her feel like she is witnessing something that is almost abusive, physically and verbally. If she feels that way then I think it is understandable for her to decide she can't tolerate it in her home. She might even feel she needs to explain why, although it sounds like her explanation was unkind to say the least.
I was wondering too if the wife had a feeling she was witnessing something abusive or at least something that felt disturbingly like abuse or potential abuse to her? Or just so uncomfortable she couldn't live with it?
I wonder this because of two reasons.
1. My father liked to "playfullly insult" and "tease" my mother. It was only much later that I realized his "playfulness" masked real derogatory and denigrating comments that over time, sapped her self esteem and confidence. To this day, although I now know that there's teasing and then there's
teasing, I am not terribly comfortable around couples who behave like that on a regular or constant basis because in the back of my mind, I wonder what the hidden agenda is behind the playfulness. I fully understand that is MY issue, but I'd have a hard time living with a couple like that, especially if the playful insults escalated to wrestling and pinning each other down. There is also a part of me that would wonder if the wrestling and pinning might someday escalate to actual physical abuse. It would feel like I was now living with ticking timebombs.
2. Reading your story made me remember an incident from long ago. A friend freaked out and physically attacked another friend's boyfriend because of her own life experiences that colored what she was seeing in a very dark light. She attacked him when boyfriend came up behind his girlfriend, playfully (and lightly) grabbed girlfriend by the back of the neck and bent her backwards -- intending to dip her for a kiss. We were all laughing because WE could see that he was holding her lightly (and had his other arm around her waist supporting her) and WE could see both of them laughing. The friend who attacked him could not see what was really happening because the movement triggered a horrible memory of the time she was attacked and raped -- which started by some guy coming up behind her, grabbing her by the neck in a strangling move and pushing her down to the ground. She couldn't see the reality because the apparent activity was triggering. She was understandably upset and embarrassed when the dust settled and then distraught when she, very slowly and haltingly, told us why she'd reacted that way. And the boyfriend never once grabbed his girlfriend like that in the other woman's presence because it would be unkind to set off someone's trauma trigger.
Which is a long way of saying that perhaps you set off this woman's triggers and she was "unkind" because she was too upset internally to guard her tongue.
