S/O Cake Smashing. When a couple wrestles.

[Wonderflonium]

He is my DH, not my boyfriend.

Sounds like congratulations are in order; when did you get married?

[Shoo]

I'm wondering if they could HEAR you wrestling, but didn't know you were wrestling and thought you were.....you know. 

[petal]

snip

He is my DH, not my boyfriend.

snip



congratulations.  didnt realise you'd finally gotten  married

[JenJay]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe OP and her DH are not in possession of a marriage license but the nature of their relationship is such that they consider themselves married and refer to each other as such.

[cass2591]

He is my DH, not my boyfriend.

Sounds like congratulations are in order; when did you get married?

For the life of me I don't understand the snide interest in the OP's definition of her relationship, so knock it off. This has been brought up before, actually I asked her once, but only because I'm nosy.  I don't care and I don't understand why you do. Plenty of people live together before marriage and they refer to themselves as husband and wife. This is such a non issue that I strongly suggest you don't bring  it up again.

[Wonderflonium]

I'm not sure why you are assigning the worst possible motive to me. When the subject has come up before, the OP has said that they are not married, she just considers him her husband. Because of the way she flat-out said, "He's my DH, not my boyfriend," I thought they had actually gotten married. Usually, when people get married, others offer congratulations. That's all that was going on.

[SoCalVal]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe OP and her DH are not in possession of a marriage license but the nature of their relationship is such that they consider themselves married and refer to each other as such.

That's what I thought, too, but, frankly, I don't care if Sio is married legally or not.  For the concerns of this forum, she says she's married, so she is.  I've known gay couples who weren't legally married, either, who refer to their SOs as DH or DW; don't care about those fine points, either.  Sio posts often enough in this forum that she's referred to her SO as DH for awhile now (several months, at least); that's good enough for me.

I'm not sure why you are assigning the worst possible motive to me. When the subject has come up before, the OP has said that they are not married, she just considers him her husband. Because of the way she flat-out said, "He's my DH, not my boyfriend," I thought they had actually gotten married. Usually, when people get married, others offer congratulations. That's all that was going on.

I didn't think you meant anything bad, either, Wonderflonium.

[Bexx27]

He is my DH, not my boyfriend.

Sounds like congratulations are in order; when did you get married?

For the life of me I don't understand the snide interest in the OP's definition of her relationship, so knock it off. This has been brought up before, actually I asked her once, but only because I'm nosy.  I don't care and I don't understand why you do. Plenty of people live together before marriage and they refer to themselves as husband and wife. This is such a non issue that I strongly suggest you don't bring  it up again.

I don't understand why Wonderflonium is being chastised for offering congratulations. Sio said he is her DH, not her boyfriend, so it's reasonable to assume she means they've gotten married. If they didn't get married and Sio is just objecting to the term "boyfriend," it seems that she is the one making an issue of relationship terminology.

[JenJay]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe OP and her DH are not in possession of a marriage license but the nature of their relationship is such that they consider themselves married and refer to each other as such.

That's what I thought, too, but, frankly, I don't care if Sio is married legally or not.  For the concerns of this forum, she says she's married, so she is.  I've known gay couples who weren't legally married, either, who refer to their SOs as DH or DW; don't care about those fine points, either.  Sio posts often enough in this forum that she's referred to her SO as DH for awhile now (several months, at least); that's good enough for me.

It doesn't matter to me, either, I was just trying to clear up the confusion before the thread derailed into 3 pages of either "Congrats, Sio!" or the marriage debate. DH and I are "wrestlers" so I'm very interested in this topic staying on track and unlocked. 

[cass2591]

Why do you care if they're married or not? And I'm "assigning" this to you because you are the most recent poster to question her and it was reported. And yes, I think your motives are to harass her over it and as I said, do not do it again unless you don't mind being banned.

Don't be cloy coy because it will not fly. Oops. Typo. Thanks to the poster who pointed that out.

[cass2591]

Bexx27-I'm not an idiot and can read between the lines. So stop it. Anybody else who makes snotty comments about this will be banned.

[Amava]

I don't like playfighting, verbally or physically, and I rather not witness it; and I would certainly not want it in my house.

BUT I would never dream of asking a couple to come live in my house if I didn't know them well enough to know whether their habits were compatible with what I do and do not want to see. And I would *certainly* not pull a bait-and-switch on someone, like that couple did to you, asking them to come share my house and then only offering them a bedroom with no privacy!

Who does that? How in the world did they think that was going to work out?
Heck, even with a completely "compatible" couple I would not imagine that would work out, giving them no privacy at all! Not even with a /single/ person, I think... Everyone needs a bit of privacy once in a while! 

Edited to add: so I think that this couple was more in the wrong than you, and I also think they could have worded their reasons for no longer wanting you to live with them more tactfully.
Also, just like some other posters have said, I think they could have spoken to you about the issue first to ask whether you were willing to tone it down.

[Iris]

In general I would feel very uncomfortable around a couple who expressed themselves to each other as you describe for reasons similar to those Cami suggested, but that's my own issue. I would go so far as to say that wrestling with your DH and DS, while certainly fine if you are all comfortable with it, is best saved for the privacy of your own home.

BUT really, this WAS the privacy of your own home. I don't understand someone who asks - as a favour mind you - to come and live with them, knowing that as a couple they would have *zero* privacy, and then objects to being exposed to their private behaviour. This whole situation just shows Ed and his wife in a very unflattering light and I hope that you are no longer friends with them.

[Raintree]

I don't think the behaviour is unhealthy or weird at all, but I still wouldn't wish to have it going on in front of me. Mostly because (from the sounds of it) it's very boisterous and loud and I like peace and quiet. Also I don't really like to be privvy to another couple's intimacy. Although the OP has said she doesn't consider it "intimate" or PDA, I think others might see it that way.

The fact that the non-private loft was sprung on them as opposed to a private bedroom maybe should have been discussed as a separate issue, but I think until different living arrangements could be arranged, the OP and her hubby could have held off until they once again had somewhere private to do this.

[SiotehCat]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe OP and her DH are not in possession of a marriage license but the nature of their relationship is such that they consider themselves married and refer to each other as such.

My Dh and I are considered married by the law. Texas state law recognizes common law marriage as long as certain criteria is met. Virginia state law recognizes common law marriage as long as it was initially created in a state that recognizes it.

Its good enough for the IRS, our employers, our insurance providers and ourselves.

I hope I am not coming across as snarky, but this is something that I get questioned about fairly often.

I think it is very rude for posters to continue to call him my BF when I have repeatedly called him my DH. I don't see why it matters to anyone what our relationship is or isn't.

JenJay, yours was the easiest for me to quote, but my post was not directed at only you.