Author Topic: Handing it to a jerk on live TV  (Read 7492 times)

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Amava

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #45 on: October 04, 2012, 02:39:16 AM »
I'm another who doesn't think of this guy as a bully. Bullies pick on those they perceive as weaker than they are, who can't or won't fight back. Nothing weak about Jennifer -- she *did* fight back. Very publicly. The term "bully pulpit" comes to mind with its totally different meaning for the B word.

It really gets my back up that he called her a bad role model. She's the best kind of role model -- a woman who is fit and healthy and comfortable in a body that isn't a toothpick with b00bs. If there were more women like her on television, there'd probably be a lot fewer girls and young women killing themselves (literally and figuratively) to achieve an ideal their bone structure, metabolism or genes will never let them reach.

Sigh... Baglady, I find this hard to say because I agree with all of the rest that you wrote, but, the bolded? Was that necessary? As a naturally underweight lady who has been bullied for *my* bodytype for years, and has had issues with insecurity and body image for many years more due to that, I find such wordings really, really painful.  :(

Like I said upthread, I love this woman. I think she's gorgeous. But can we please admire her without bashing other body types. Thanks.

Fleur

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #46 on: October 04, 2012, 05:59:56 AM »
I'm another who doesn't think of this guy as a bully. Bullies pick on those they perceive as weaker than they are, who can't or won't fight back. Nothing weak about Jennifer -- she *did* fight back. Very publicly. The term "bully pulpit" comes to mind with its totally different meaning for the B word.

It really gets my back up that he called her a bad role model. She's the best kind of role model -- a woman who is fit and healthy and comfortable in a body that isn't a toothpick with b00bs. If there were more women like her on television, there'd probably be a lot fewer girls and young women killing themselves (literally and figuratively) to achieve an ideal their bone structure, metabolism or genes will never let them reach.

Sigh... Baglady, I find this hard to say because I agree with all of the rest that you wrote, but, the bolded? Was that necessary? As a naturally underweight lady who has been bullied for *my* bodytype for years, and has had issues with insecurity and body image for many years more due to that, I find such wordings really, really painful.  :(

Like I said upthread, I love this woman. I think she's gorgeous. But can we please admire her without bashing other body types. Thanks.

Seconded. I'm overweight, but I don't like the bashing of any body types, it is wrong. I also hate prescriptive attittudes to health and weight. I'm so sorry you were bullied, Amava, that sucks :( I also love this anchor.

Snooks

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #47 on: October 04, 2012, 06:01:16 AM »
I thought she handled it well, given that she didn't mention the guy's name I'm not sure how it got out there.  If her husband put it on the Facebook page then I think that was an error but only because knowing who the guy is distracts from what he did.  I should really stop watching the clip though because I seem to get something in my eye every time...

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #48 on: October 04, 2012, 06:37:51 AM »
I don't view the letter writer as a bully so much as a troll.
 
And he got what he wanted.  Attention.

And his "victim" took his bullying/trolling/rudeness/whatever and made it into a powerful statement that reached a wide audience.

As part of that audience, I don't see it as a powerful statement, I see it as feeding the troll.  All I thought was "wow, he really got to her."

I disagree.  There is no evidence that he "got to her" at all.  I think instead she realised what a great opportunity it was to reach out to and stand up for people who would be hurt by such words.

Yvaine

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #49 on: October 04, 2012, 07:20:42 AM »
I think it's not really important to get into a semantic discussion of the definition of bullying. If the thread title said "Handing it to a jerk on live TV," the essential issues would still be the same.

baglady

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #50 on: October 04, 2012, 08:44:58 AM »
I'm another who doesn't think of this guy as a bully. Bullies pick on those they perceive as weaker than they are, who can't or won't fight back. Nothing weak about Jennifer -- she *did* fight back. Very publicly. The term "bully pulpit" comes to mind with its totally different meaning for the B word.

It really gets my back up that he called her a bad role model. She's the best kind of role model -- a woman who is fit and healthy and comfortable in a body that isn't a toothpick with b00bs. If there were more women like her on television, there'd probably be a lot fewer girls and young women killing themselves (literally and figuratively) to achieve an ideal their bone structure, metabolism or genes will never let them reach.

Sigh... Baglady, I find this hard to say because I agree with all of the rest that you wrote, but, the bolded? Was that necessary? As a naturally underweight lady who has been bullied for *my* bodytype for years, and has had issues with insecurity and body image for many years more due to that, I find such wordings really, really painful.  :(

Like I said upthread, I love this woman. I think she's gorgeous. But can we please admire her without bashing other body types. Thanks.

Seconded. I'm overweight, but I don't like the bashing of any body types, it is wrong. I also hate prescriptive attittudes to health and weight. I'm so sorry you were bullied, Amava, that sucks :( I also love this anchor.

My apologies. I wasn't trying to bash -- it was a poor attempt to be facetious.
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Moray

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #51 on: October 04, 2012, 09:14:45 AM »
*snip*

(I don't believe in the calorie in calorie out theory btw and think we would have a lot less meanness if people had a more realistic view of what causes weight gain.  I certainly find it hard to believe that a successful anchor is such an uncontrolled hedonist that she is fat because she pigs outr all the time!)

Well, what if she was fat because she *did* pig out all the time? Is it ok to make disparaging remarks about her if there aren't mitigating factors that keep her weight high? The answer is "No", obviously, with a follow-up question of "And how would you even tell?".

I know that's not at all what you intended, but that sort of reasoning "Hey, be nice! It could be a medical condition." doesn't really address the root of the problem, which is that some people find it appropriate to make hurtful remarks about the appearance of others. If some jerk says "Put down the twinkies, lardbutt!!", it doesn't become less rude if the large person he's saying it to actually does have a thing for twinkies, KWIM?
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Thipu1

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #52 on: October 04, 2012, 09:20:54 AM »
The author of the original email surfaced on GMA this morning.

Guess what?  He's offered to 'advise' and 'help' her lose weight.  Ah, the goodness of his heart! (NOT)

Moray

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #53 on: October 04, 2012, 09:24:42 AM »
The author of the original email surfaced on GMA this morning.

Guess what?  He's offered to 'advise' and 'help' her lose weight.  Ah, the goodness of his heart! (NOT)

Aww, what a sweetie. There's nothing like someone who thinks put-downs are perfectly acceptable because "it's for [other person]'s own good". I don't think I've ever encountered someone with that attitude who actually have a dead rat's hindquarters about [other person].
Utah

Sharnita

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #54 on: October 04, 2012, 09:36:23 AM »
*snip*

(I don't believe in the calorie in calorie out theory btw and think we would have a lot less meanness if people had a more realistic view of what causes weight gain.  I certainly find it hard to believe that a successful anchor is such an uncontrolled hedonist that she is fat because she pigs outr all the time!)

Well, what if she was fat because she *did* pig out all the time? Is it ok to make disparaging remarks about her if there aren't mitigating factors that keep her weight high? The answer is "No", obviously, with a follow-up question of "And how would you even tell?".

I know that's not at all what you intended, but that sort of reasoning "Hey, be nice! It could be a medical condition." doesn't really address the root of the problem, which is that some people find it appropriate to make hurtful remarks about the appearance of others. If some jerk says "Put down the twinkies, lardbutt!!", it doesn't become less rude if the large person he's saying it to actually does have a thing for twinkies, KWIM?

Agreed - she shouldn't have to disclose medical information to justify her right to be treated with respect.

PurpleyBlue

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #55 on: October 04, 2012, 10:43:17 AM »
I'm extremely proud and greatful to Ms. Livingston for what she did. Her message may have made all the difference in the world to someone who is struggling with other people making them feel less than a whole person because of how they look.

People need to learn that a number on a scale is NOT who we are. In the past two years, I have lost a significant amount of weight. And you know what? I'm still the sme person I was two years ago. I'm not magically smarter, nicer, better at my job or life in general. I'm just me. Same as I used to be, just in a different size clothes. If what Ms. Livingston said makes even one person take a moment to realize that, then I will gladly give her a standing ovation.

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #56 on: October 04, 2012, 10:52:42 AM »
I'm in the camp of applauding what she did.  It might give the viewer more attention, but I think it's more important that she stands up for herself and for other girls and women who are in the same position but do not have the ability to fight back. 

By the way, she is apparently the sister of actor Ron Livingston, who has issued his own statement that he was proud of his sister: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20635965,00.html

Jones

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #57 on: October 04, 2012, 11:26:51 AM »
After I read here that the emailer had outed himself, I had to go find the scoop. I wish I could say I was shocked to find out that she had invited him on her show to speak about it face-to-face about his concerns and he declined. I also have to wonder about his newest statement, about helping her "transform herself" in public view of everyone. It's obvious from his physique he works very hard on himself, but I just don't know that he understands that people are built differently from each other and it's OK. Really, it's OK to look different from each other.

I have to wonder why he wears glasses when Lasik is available, but feels he can chide someone with health related overweightedness to lose that weight?  ::) (Sarcasm. I wear glasses myself and don't care if anyone else does.) I have a Zumba instructor who is overweight. She dances (aerobically) 6-8 hours a day/5 days a week and from comments she has made will never, ever fit into a single digit pant size (she hasn't lost any poundage in over a year). She is one of the most physically capable women I've ever met. She'd probably break Mr. Jerk's brain.

As a lawyer, he really should have known better than to stick his nose where it didn't belong.

Hijinks

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #58 on: October 04, 2012, 11:33:51 AM »
I don't view the letter writer as a bully so much as a troll.
 
And he got what he wanted.  Attention.

And his "victim" took his bullying/trolling/rudeness/whatever and made it into a powerful statement that reached a wide audience.

As part of that audience, I don't see it as a powerful statement, I see it as feeding the troll.  All I thought was "wow, he really got to her."

I disagree.  There is no evidence that he "got to her" at all.  I think instead she realised what a great opportunity it was to reach out to and stand up for people who would be hurt by such words.

As she states in her piece, she had laughed it off, but her husband took offense on her behalf and posted it on the show's FB page, where people read it and sent out the signal.  She had nothing to do with it being put out there, but once it was, she felt she should address it.

Amava

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Re: Handing it to a bully on live TV
« Reply #59 on: October 04, 2012, 11:47:21 AM »
I'm another who doesn't think of this guy as a bully. Bullies pick on those they perceive as weaker than they are, who can't or won't fight back. Nothing weak about Jennifer -- she *did* fight back. Very publicly. The term "bully pulpit" comes to mind with its totally different meaning for the B word.

It really gets my back up that he called her a bad role model. She's the best kind of role model -- a woman who is fit and healthy and comfortable in a body that isn't a toothpick with b00bs. If there were more women like her on television, there'd probably be a lot fewer girls and young women killing themselves (literally and figuratively) to achieve an ideal their bone structure, metabolism or genes will never let them reach.

Sigh... Baglady, I find this hard to say because I agree with all of the rest that you wrote, but, the bolded? Was that necessary? As a naturally underweight lady who has been bullied for *my* bodytype for years, and has had issues with insecurity and body image for many years more due to that, I find such wordings really, really painful.  :(

Like I said upthread, I love this woman. I think she's gorgeous. But can we please admire her without bashing other body types. Thanks.

Seconded. I'm overweight, but I don't like the bashing of any body types, it is wrong. I also hate prescriptive attittudes to health and weight. I'm so sorry you were bullied, Amava, that sucks :( I also love this anchor.

My apologies. I wasn't trying to bash -- it was a poor attempt to be facetious.

Thank you very much, Baglady, apologies accepted!  :) The /rational/ part of me already knows, of course, that nobody here is calling me a toothpick. ;)  And it's understandable that with hearing so much about people struggling to keep their weight down every day, we sometimes forget that there are people reading along who are the exact opposite, too.

And thank you too, Fleur. Yes, it sucked. But I know that I'm only one of very many and oh well, I lived. I don't /often/ think about it anymore, it's all good.