Background: me and my DH are expecting our first child, which is due at 5 December. Everyone is excited, and lately my parents in law offered to buy playpen for us. I believe the idea was that we'd pick one together (parents in law and us) and they'd pay for it. me and my DH work fulltime, my FIL works fulltime. On saturday, they always watch the kid from SIL1 (6 year old boy). He requires a lot of attention and throws a lot of tantrums. SIL1 is a single mom by choice - a clinic provided the 'materials' to get her pregnant. She works part time in a clothing store with variable hours (new schedules are made every 3 weeks), though she always chooses to work on saturdays. Because of that, seeing the parents in law requires quite some coordination in general. SIL is also be a bit entitled about it - one time when DH planned a vacation for his parents with SIL2 and SIL1 as a birthday present, SIL1 was upset that they couldn't be around on saturday to watch her kid...while she had this information 3 months in advance.
(not sure if everything is relevant btw, just adding all of it to be sure)
Because of this setup, it's impossible to actually get to a store together (parents in law and us). Stores are closed on sunday where we live. My husband decided to call his parents on monday, proposing that they would come over to us to look for playpens on saturday. He figured that that would leave them and SIL with enough time to find other accommodations for nephew.
Well, some calls have gone back and forth, and apparently this amount of time was not good enough. In the end FIL decided that he would babysit nephew and MIL would come over anyways. My husband was upset by the conversations because a warning of a week beforehand isn't enough, but his parents can't indicate what would be enough. He feels as if he is coming on a second place and he has to jump through a bundle of hoops just to see his parents because of this. And in this case we can't say 'oh we'll do this in 2 months', because then the baby is likely already born. Bringing nephew along is not an option, because he is quite a difficult child, and not a good mix with baby stuff shopping.
-Is DH reasonable upset?
-What would a reasonable time window to request parent in law's saturday for such visits?
-Does anyone else have experience with parents who are not so available because they are busy with siblings? If so, how does or did it work out for you?
As for myself - I'm a bit on the fence about it. The parents in law agreed to watch their grandson every saturday, and an agreement is an agreement. But it's annoying at times that it makes it so difficult to schedule a visit with them. I also wonder if his parents really realize that it makes visiting harder that way, but I can't think of a good way in which DH could communicate such a concern.