I'd like to know how to approach a person who immediately get defensive whenever something is brought up. Specifically, my mother thinks that any sort of dialogue about something she does is an attack on her.
This is true in general, but the problem I am currently wanting to address involves her phone conversations. She has the tendency to like to be "where the action is" while chatting on the phone. If we're watching tv, she'll park herself on the couch. When I make dinner, she paces around the kitchen. If we're outside, she is too! This in and of itself isn't a problem, but when mom comes in she starts to speak normally and eventually SCREAMS INTO THE PHONE LIKE THIS. It isn't even an angry scream she just gets progressively louder for no apparent reason. She gets so loud that we have to stop whatever we are doing and wait for her to finish her call as we can't hear what we need to over her shouting. Which is fine for a few minutes, but more than once she's been on a 30 minute social call.
Like 20 minutes ago. My father and I were watching tv. Mom was in the kitchen. The phone rang, she answered it and plopped down on the couch to lounge and chat about a visit to her friend's house. We are alone int he house. There is a whole 'nother couch she could have parked on that was just as close to the kitchen, but across the house from us. But she chose the room we were in. After a while we couldn't hear what was happening on the show so we paused it while she finished her 20 minute call.
I'm not sure how to go about saying anything without her getting defensive. I actually don't even know how I want this resolved. On one hand she has as much right to the house as we do. On the other hand, her use of the living room tends to disrupt our use and that isn't nice. I am leaning more towards getting her to go elsewhere, as I know from experience that it is sometimes hard to realize that you are starting to get louder. And that's why I take phone calls behind closed doors.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to address the topic up without having her get defensive and angry.