Requesting Substitute Freebie

[bah12]

This is what I would have done (and have done).

When you see that the bag has something that your son can't eat due to allergy, just discreetly go to whoever gave it to you and offer it back..."I'm sorry, my son is allergic to this candy, so I wanted to return the gift bag to you. I'll purchase the regular bag in your store for him instead."

At this point they either offer you the regular bag for free or they take your return.  But you are both informing them of why you can't accept the freebie and giving them a chance to offer you another without looking like you are expecting them to give you one.

I had a similar situation happen to me once in a winery.  I can't drink red wine and this particular winery was tasting the reds for free.  Dh and I were at the counter, they put out to glasses and before he could pour I stopped him and said "I'm sorry.  I'm allergic to red wine, just pour one glass for DH."

He then offered me the substitute of a champagne tasting. 

[Arrynne]

If they have two varieties out and one is OK for your child and the other is not, definitely ask for the other.  If they're only giving out one, I wouldn't ask.  I don't think it's rude to ask, but I probably wouldn't do it.

[Zilla]

Posted by: bah12« on: Today at 13:16:01

• This is what I would have done (and have done).
  
  When you see that the bag has something that your son can't eat due to allergy, just discreetly go to whoever gave it to you and offer it back..."I'm sorry, my son is allergic to this candy, so I wanted to return the gift bag to you. I'll purchase the regular bag in your store for him instead."

If OP chooses to inquire about substitute bags, I would suggest that she call and ask before they take another tour.

That way, the tour guide (or whomever gives out the goodie bags) isn't put on the spot in front of others.

• 
  
  
  
  
  I would not offer it back since it was only one treat in the bag that he couldn't have.  Plus it seems a bit ungrateful, even with the offer of purchasing a regular one.  Because if they didn't have a regular bag then the poor child is left with nothing.
  
  I like this idea as well so you can inquire ahead of time and not putting anyone on the spot unintentionally either.  Or I would just continue what you did since it was only one treat out of the others that he couldn't have.

[Ceallach]

I would not offer it back since it was only one treat in the bag that he couldn't have.  Plus it seems a bit ungrateful, even with the offer of purchasing a regular one.  Because if they didn't have a regular bag then the poor child is left with nothing.

I like this idea as well so you can inquire ahead of time and not putting anyone on the spot unintentionally either.  Or I would just continue what you did since it was only one treat out of the others that he couldn't have.[/size][/li]
[/list]

I didn't read the original post as saying there was 1 item in the bag the child couldn't eat, I read it as their being one ingredient / allergen in the bag that made the whole bag inedible for that child.       So he was left with nothing anything except for what his mother purchased.     (I may be incorrect though, perhaps the OP can clarify). 

[Zilla]

Ceallach you are right, I didn't see her followup post where they had different bags including the ones that was safe for him that they used to give out in the past for free.


I still wouldn't decline the bag though, it feels off to me.  I would contact them ahead of time for next time and ask for a regular bag for her child.

[bah12]

Ceallach you are right, I didn't see her followup post where they had different bags including the ones that was safe for him that they used to give out in the past for free.


I still wouldn't decline the bag though, it feels off to me.  I would contact them ahead of time for next time and ask for a regular bag for her child.

It just seems like a waste to take something you legitamately can't use.  It would be one thing to offer it back with the explanation that the contents suck and aren't worth it to you and another to say "No thanks.  I'm allergic to that particular candy." 

[Take2]

I would ask. Any time a business could make a small accommodation that would help me, I will politely ask. If they say no, I will smile and say thank you anyway. If they say yes, I will thank them profusely. I think my kids can learn how to be gracious AND take care of themselves. To me, it is no different from asking to switch out a side item in a restaurant---I can ask nicely and accept whatever answer they give with grace. If I don't ask, they don't have the opportunity to help me. And really, the "free" bags are a marketing cost. They would rather my kid eat the candy and become loyal to it, that's why they give it away!

[kherbert05]

What I have done in the past is hand it back explaining I was allergic. Usually they offered something else that was peanut free.   


Other times when I was little, my parents would give sis my treat and buy me something equal to the two treats in the gift shop, or someplace else. (Usually they went with this option when they knew most of the products would have peanut products in them)

[CluelessBride]

In a situation like this, I think I might phrase a request as "Excuse me, I was wondering if all of the bags were the same, or if there are some that don't have X in them - my son is allergic." 

I'm not sure why, but it just seems less grabby to me.

[MyFamily]

I would not offer it back since it was only one treat in the bag that he couldn't have.  Plus it seems a bit ungrateful, even with the offer of purchasing a regular one.  Because if they didn't have a regular bag then the poor child is left with nothing.

I like this idea as well so you can inquire ahead of time and not putting anyone on the spot unintentionally either.  Or I would just continue what you did since it was only one treat out of the others that he couldn't have.[/size][/li]
[/list]

I didn't read the original post as saying there was 1 item in the bag the child couldn't eat, I read it as their being one ingredient / allergen in the bag that made the whole bag inedible for that child.       So he was left with nothing anything except for what his mother purchased.     (I may be incorrect though, perhaps the OP can clarify).

There was one of his allergens noted on the bag; after we opened my daughters' bags, we saw the one item that may have been the issue and the rest was fine, but we have no way of knowing that 100% for sure, so he isn't eating anything from those bags.