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Cash bar and invitations

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magzilla:
Now, I am completely aware of how inappropriate it would be to have a cash bar - let alone mention it on the invitations - for a wedding or similar event.  My question relates to invitations for a Memorial/ Celebration of Life gathering. 

My mother recently passed away and, as she followed a rather unique religious syncretism, a traditional church or temple service isn't appropriate. Instead, we're having a small family ash scattering at dawn followed by a larger reception at a beautiful restaurant on the beach.  My mother was a vegetarian who only ate fish and poultry at the beginning and end of her life.  She was also a teetotaler.  To honor her memory, we're serving vegetarian and pescatarian hors d'oevres at the reception.  However, to honor my siblings and my desire for a glass of wine before facing down the hordes of extended family who didn't have a kind thing to say about my mother during her life but are suddenly grief-stricken by her passing, drinks will be available for purchase at the restaurant bar.

Because the reception will be held from 5pm-7pm I want to make sure that guests know what to expect in the meal department and what options exist to handle the notoriously appalling parking of our crowded beachside community.  Would it be a tremendous faux pas to mention "Hors d'oevre served. Cash bar. Valet parking available for $6" on the back of the invitation?  Would it be a worse transgression not to? 

Redneck Gravy:

--- Quote from: magzilla on October 04, 2012, 12:07:51 PM ---Now, I am completely aware of how inappropriate it would be to have a cash bar - let alone mention it on the invitations - for a wedding or similar event.  My question relates to invitations for a Memorial/ Celebration of Life gathering. 

My mother recently passed away and, as she followed a rather unique religious syncretism, a traditional church or temple service isn't appropriate. Instead, we're having a small family ash scattering at dawn followed by a larger reception at a beautiful restaurant on the beach.  My mother was a vegetarian who only ate fish and poultry at the beginning and end of her life.  She was also a teetotaler.  To honor her memory, we're serving vegetarian and pescatarian hors d'oevres at the reception.  However, to honor my siblings and my desire for a glass of wine before facing down the hordes of extended family who didn't have a kind thing to say about my mother during her life but are suddenly grief-stricken by her passing, drinks will be available for purchase at the restaurant bar.

Because the reception will be held from 5pm-7pm I want to make sure that guests know what to expect in the meal department and what options exist to handle the notoriously appalling parking of our crowded beachside community.  Would it be a tremendous faux pas to mention "Hors d'oevre served. Cash bar. Valet parking available for $6" on the back of the invitation?  Would it be a worse transgression not to?

--- End quote ---

Mention the hors d'oeuvres, I would not mention the cash bar.  It would be polite to warn them of the $ 6 valet parking being available but I wouldn't mention anything else.

I'm confused about scattering at dawn, then they come back at 5:00 for a reception?  Or the scattering is just for family and the reception is for everyone? 

magzilla:

--- Quote from: Redneck Gravy on October 04, 2012, 12:28:29 PM ---Mention the hors d'oeuvres, I would not mention the cash bar.  It would be polite to warn them of the $ 6 valet parking being available but I wouldn't mention anything else.

I'm confused about scattering at dawn, then they come back at 5:00 for a reception?  Or the scattering is just for family and the reception is for everyone?

--- End quote ---

Apologies for the wordiness of my original post.  Thank you for your wise advice.  It may even be better if some don't realize alcohol is available.  I don't expect anyone to overdo it but there's no reason to advertise the opportunity.

You are correct that the small scattering is just for immediate family.  The larger reception is for extended family and old friends/ acquaintances.  For those attending the dawn scattering, I'm hosting a breakfast and hope that we can spend the intervening hours before the reception catching up in small groups since, in many cases, it's been decades since we've seen each other.  Nevertheless, I'm in my early 30's and admit it's my first time hosting such an event - and hopefully my last for some years.  I appreciate any advice others can offer.

Oh Joy:
I'm sorry for your loss.

Will you be hosting any non-alcoholic beverages?

And welcome to the forum!

Redneck Gravy:
I am sorry for your loss also.  Losing your mother is just hard no matter what the circumstances are. 

I hope everything goes smoothly. 

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