Author Topic: I need to own this  (Read 10268 times)

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Pippen

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #60 on: October 06, 2012, 09:01:33 PM »
Well I rang her back a bit earlier and told her it isn't going to happen as it just didn't work for me as I didn't want any change in the current dynamic. Her response was "Really? I thought we got on great?" To which is told her I had other people to consider and that it is nothing personal. Anyone else asking the same would be getting the same answer.

I think she is a bit brassed off but I cant change that.

LeveeWoman

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #61 on: October 06, 2012, 09:05:22 PM »
Well I rang her back a bit earlier and told her it isn't going to happen as it just didn't work for me as I didn't want any change in the current dynamic. Her response was "Really? I thought we got on great?" To which is told her I had other people to consider and that it is nothing personal. Anyone else asking the same would be getting the same answer.

I think she is a bit brassed off but I cant change that.

Good answers and good outcome!

Kaypeep

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #62 on: October 06, 2012, 09:08:07 PM »
Well I rang her back a bit earlier and told her it isn't going to happen as it just didn't work for me as I didn't want any change in the current dynamic. Her response was "Really? I thought we got on great?" To which is told her I had other people to consider and that it is nothing personal. Anyone else asking the same would be getting the same answer.

I think she is a bit brassed off but I cant change that.

I'm glad she didn't push this time.  But as you said, she might show up unexpectedly anyway.  So be sure not to even let her in, or answer the door even.  She probably won't give up with just one 'no'.  She's going to keep pushing and you have to stay strong.

PastryGoddess

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #63 on: October 06, 2012, 11:31:36 PM »
Well I rang her back a bit earlier and told her it isn't going to happen as it just didn't work for me as I didn't want any change in the current dynamic. Her response was "Really? I thought we got on great?" To which is told her I had other people to consider and that it is nothing personal. Anyone else asking the same would be getting the same answer.

I think she is a bit brassed off but I cant change that.

Awesome outcome.  I'll send you some fresh titanium to polish that shiny spine of yours

Winterlight

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #64 on: October 07, 2012, 12:31:14 PM »
Go you! *cheers*

Now, keep your spine handy in case she does show up on your doorstep- letting her stay, even for a night, would be the thin edge of the wedge.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

bopper

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #65 on: October 08, 2012, 11:33:24 AM »
If she asks again:

"Do you have that $XXX you owe me?"

gramma dishes

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #66 on: October 08, 2012, 10:08:14 PM »
If she asks again:

"Do you have that $XXX you owe me?"

This.   ;D

That might put the brakes on her eagerness a bit.

But in actuality, the answer should still just be "No.  It is not going to happen."

VorFemme

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #67 on: October 08, 2012, 10:29:53 PM »
If she asks again:

"Do you have that $XXX you owe me?"

This.   ;D

That might put the brakes on her eagerness a bit.

But in actuality, the answer should still just be "No.  It is not going to happen."

What if she gets the idea that paying the $XXX would be enough to make her welcome to move back in and mooch her way past what debts she's "paid up"?

Thin edge of the wedge territory - bette to say "no".

Although getting paid back by someone like this is always tempting......on the face of it.

But we cut off our moocher in 1985 & refused to let him reconnect in 1988 - best thing do do with someone like this...becasue they never seem to grow up and "own" their share of any issues in what killed the friendship (or parasite/host - which seems a more realistic description of what was really going on).
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

MindsEye

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #68 on: October 09, 2012, 01:27:42 PM »
If she asks again:

"Do you have that $XXX you owe me?"

This.   ;D

That might put the brakes on her eagerness a bit.

But in actuality, the answer should still just be "No.  It is not going to happen."

What if she gets the idea that paying the $XXX would be enough to make her welcome to move back in and mooch her way past what debts she's "paid up"?

This reminded me of a funny(ish) story of how a college buddy of mine dealt with a similar moocher...  here is the abbreviated story...

Moocher lived with my Buddy for a semester or so, then vanished for several months, owing Buddy lots of $$$ for rent, utilities, groceries, etc.  Moocher then showed back up at the end of the school year and wanted to move back in for the summer.
Buddy: No.  Besides you still owe me $$$ from last time you were here.
Moocher: What if I paid you back?
Buddy: If you pay me back the $$$ that you owe me, then I will reconsider letting you move back in.
Moocher pays Buddy back in full.
Moocher: So, I can move in?
Buddy: No.
Moocher: But you said you would reconsider!
Buddy: I said that I would reconsider my answer.  Not change it.

OP, maybe you should try this script next time you hear from your moocher? 

EMuir

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Re: I need to own this
« Reply #69 on: October 09, 2012, 06:23:35 PM »
So far my method of getting rid of moochers is to ask to borrow money from them.  There was a family member who was known for borrowing money and not returning it.  When I got old enough to have money, he asked to borrow $20 and would return it to me in a week.  I agreed and he did indeed return it in a week.  The next time we met I asked to borrow $20.  He seemed a bit perplexed and gave it to me, and I returned it to him in a week.  He never brought up money again.  :P