Author Topic: Weird or just me?  (Read 5145 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

sourwolf

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 347
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #30 on: October 05, 2012, 02:03:05 PM »
I try not to be over reactive about things but this would make me very uncomfortable, mainly because she wasn't supposed to be pet sitting, where I would expect (even hope) that she would be spending lots of time with my dog, but because she was just supposed to be letting him out quickly.  I can't think of a single excuse for her hanging out for more than a couple of minutes, and honestly I would now be slightly paranoid about whether or not she's made herself at home/come over any other times I didn't know about.  I agree with those saying they would get a new pet sitter and changing the locks.

cookiehappy

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 27
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #31 on: October 05, 2012, 02:32:35 PM »
If you plan to speak with your neighbor about how this makes you uncomfortable, be prepared to find other pet-sitter arrangements.  If she had no issue or saw anything wrong with "playing house" in your house, then she is most likely the type person who would take offense that YOU find it odd and would likely sever the relationship with you.  It's a good situation for you as she would be the one doing the cutoff.

I believe you mentioned you are friendly, but not friends.  Not only did she take "friendly" beyond the friendly boundary with eating and watching a movie in your home, but she took it to a disrespectful level having a complete stranger there with her like it was date night or something.


Danika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1944
  • I'm not speeding. I'm qualifying.
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2012, 05:39:47 PM »
I think it's highly weird. It would make me think that she and I have very different definitions of "pet sitting" and boundaries and I'd wonder what other things she thought she could do at my house without asking: rummaging through my medicine cabinet, going through my closet and borrowing my clothes, reading my mail. I'm not saying she's doing any of those things, but if we're on such different pages about "letting the dog out when I'll be home in a few hours" what other definitions do we differ on?

We had a neighbor who would pet sit for us when we went out of town. She specifically said to me "Generally, when I pet-sit, I stay at the person's house. Is that ok?" I didn't want her sleeping in our bedroom, using our sheets, necessitating laundry for me and an immediate changing of the bed sheets when we returned home from a long flight. I told her not to stay at our house, just to come X amount of times, open the door for the dog to do his business, let him back in 5 minutes later and that's it.

Before we left, I emptied the dishwasher. When we returned, some of our dishes and silverware were in there. There were paper bags in the trash from various restaurants. It was obvious she'd eaten numerous meals at our house on our dishes. There was even a drinking glass from a restaurant (it said the restaurant's name) that I'd never seen before. Our sheets look slept in. Some of the towels looked used. She didn't live far away and there was no reason to be sleeping in our house especially since I had told her not to. Based on some of the things that had been moved near the sofa, I suspected she had at least one other guest over. Nothing was missing, but it made me very mad. After that, we never asked her to pet-sit again.

ETA: correct conjugation
« Last Edit: October 05, 2012, 06:39:22 PM by Danika »

Peregrine

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 460
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #33 on: October 05, 2012, 06:04:41 PM »
Generally when I pet/house sit, I will sit down and watch Tv or read for a couple of hours while petting the kitties or take the kitties out in the yard for their leash walks.  I will open and close window shades, answer the phone if it rings and take down messages, etc.  But I also only do this for family and a couple selected family friends growing up, where the expectations are clear going in to things.  I do not typically stay overnight.

I find the OP situation somewhat troubling, in that it is not what the OP was expecting.  But I can also see completely innocent and reasonable explanations for how it happened as well.  Since it caused the OP discomfort I would discontinue having the neighbor petsit and change the locks.

still in va

  • used to be gjcva1
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3517
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2012, 07:02:13 PM »
Generally when I pet/house sit, I will sit down and watch Tv or read for a couple of hours while petting the kitties or take the kitties out in the yard for their leash walks.  I will open and close window shades, answer the phone if it rings and take down messages, etc.  But I also only do this for family and a couple selected family friends growing up, where the expectations are clear going in to things.  I do not typically stay overnight.

I find the OP situation somewhat troubling, in that it is not what the OP was expecting.  But I can also see completely innocent and reasonable explanations for how it happened as well.  Since it caused the OP discomfort I would discontinue having the neighbor petsit and change the locks.

Kestral, i think i would love to employ you as a pet sitter.

unfortunately, mmbored didn't need a pet sitter.  she needed her dog let out to pee because she would be a few hours late on that one night.  certainly not a reason for the neighbor and her boyfriend to grab dinner, plug in a dvd, and make a night of it.

doodlemor

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2225
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #35 on: October 05, 2012, 07:34:35 PM »
Another thing that really bothers me about this is the neighbor's boyfriend's presence.  I wonder if he is the one who suggested that they hang out at mbbored's home for the night, whether he was looking for a chance to touch her things, look through her underwear, and so forth.

It's more likely that the neighbor and her boyfriend are just clueless people without proper boundaries. 

However, the whole thing seems really creepy to me, and I think that OP needs to change her locks ASAP.  A woman who lives alone needs to be extra cautious.


Danika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1944
  • I'm not speeding. I'm qualifying.
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #36 on: October 05, 2012, 07:51:21 PM »
At the very least, I would have been annoyed just that they were spending time in my house once I got home. If I wanted to go to bed, or eat ice cream in front of the TV, or make phone calls or anything, I wouldn't want people in my house, non-tenants, not roommates, using my TV and DVD player and couch and preventing me from doing what I wanted for the rest of the evening.

still in va

  • used to be gjcva1
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3517
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #37 on: October 05, 2012, 09:16:50 PM »
Another thing that really bothers me about this is the neighbor's boyfriend's presence.  I wonder if he is the one who suggested that they hang out at mbbored's home for the night, whether he was looking for a chance to touch her things, look through her underwear, and so forth.

It's more likely that the neighbor and her boyfriend are just clueless people without proper boundaries. 

However, the whole thing seems really creepy to me, and I think that OP needs to change her locks ASAP.  A woman who lives alone needs to be extra cautious.

i'm not willing to immediately jump to the neighbor's bf is a perv who is searching through her underwear drawer and planning to attack the OP.

i do think this is a massive boundary fail, and mmbored should make new arrangements for taking care of her dog, and change her locks. not to keep the boyfriend out, but to keep the neighbor out. 

CrochetFanatic

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 872
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #38 on: October 05, 2012, 09:59:52 PM »
Definitely weird, and a serious no-no in my book.  Maybe they assumed you were closer or more friendly with each other than you actually were, but either way they should have asked first. 

Bijou

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12989
Re: Weird or just me?
« Reply #39 on: October 06, 2012, 11:35:10 AM »
If there has been no similar problem in the past, maybe she misunderstood.
I wonder what type of event it was.  If it were some kind of party or dinner or something, she may have thought the OP would out very late and was just keeping the dog company.   What would bother me though,  is her bringing someone else into my home.  She was invited in, even if only to take the dog out to do his business, her boyfriend was not.
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.