Author Topic: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?  (Read 5901 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

gen xer

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 546
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2012, 12:11:46 PM »

Count me in with the ones who say model the correct grammar, fact etc...they will pick up on it eventually. 

My MIL is a shameless corrector...and she takes things very literally, pouncing on people for mis-speaking.  She has almost no sense of when someone is kidding or is not to be taken seriously.  She thinks she's helping the stupid folk but it makes every conversation a tedious, hairsplitting ordeal.

I honestly think it's because she is so painfully literal that she can't handle nuances in conversation.

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4187
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2012, 12:35:55 PM »

Count me in with the ones who say model the correct grammar, fact etc...they will pick up on it eventually. 

My MIL is a shameless corrector...and she takes things very literally, pouncing on people for mis-speaking.  She has almost no sense of when someone is kidding or is not to be taken seriously.  She thinks she's helping the stupid folk but it makes every conversation a tedious, hairsplitting ordeal.

I honestly think it's because she is so painfully literal that she can't handle nuances in conversation.

It might also be because she's a mean person.

ddawn23

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 208
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2012, 02:43:32 AM »

Count me in with the ones who say model the correct grammar, fact etc...they will pick up on it eventually. 

My MIL is a shameless corrector...and she takes things very literally, pouncing on people for mis-speaking.  She has almost no sense of when someone is kidding or is not to be taken seriously.  She thinks she's helping the stupid folk but it makes every conversation a tedious, hairsplitting ordeal.

I honestly think it's because she is so painfully literal that she can't handle nuances in conversation.

It might also be because she's a mean person.
Can we please agree to give her the benefit of the doubt?  Especially in this thread.  I came here and admitted that I have a flaw I'm trying to work on.  Gen xer says 'my MIL also has this flaw' and you suggest that Gen xer's MIL might just be a mean person.  I know you didn't intend to attack of be mean to me, but that's certainly how it felt.

Pippen

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1218
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2012, 06:42:26 AM »
Its something everyone does. If you have a more indepth knowledge of something it is only natural to want to bring others up to speed. Sadly it is also an almost sure fire way of coming across as officious and it just doesn't go down well. You have the good sense to recognise this where as so many people don't. As much as it may grate on your nerves I would suggest leaving it. The bigger picture is you are getting along much better and you seem pleased with that development. Don't risk it by reverting back to your old MO.


TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30839
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2012, 08:18:16 AM »
Why would you correct him  if you are trying to overcome a reputation as a corrector? Let it go.  Sending else can straighten him out if it's important enough.
Because it's embarrassing to find out you've been doing something like that repeatedly and in public, and that everyone knew about it, but no one told you.  I regret not telling him at the time.  It's like if you go to dinner and then to a party, and you get home to find you have lettuce stuck in your teeth.  To me having had lettuce stuck in your teeth is way less embarrassing than the thought that it was there at the party and everyone knew it, and nobody said anything to you about it.  I would much rather somebody tell me halfway through the party than not at all.  So are we halfway through the party, or is it a week later?

It also occurs to me that somebody else might have told him in the interim.

I would say that enough months have gone by, hopefully someone has told him.

I think it's a month or two later. And you aren't even at the same party right now.

Now, if you called him and got him to speak French with you, and then you said, "oh, that verb should be this" and then moved right along with the conversation, I'd say you were totally OK.

But for you to bring it up now, after you've gone home from the party and it's months later, implies that you've been thinking about it an focusing on it. And it sends the message that the main reason you've contacting him is to correct him. Not fun to be on the receiving end of.

(I'm interested in your reason for telling him--is that why you correct people, do you think, or do you like the feeling of being right and being an expert? In a way, swooping in to 'save' someone is a bit *like* being an expert.)

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4187
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2012, 11:43:08 AM »

Count me in with the ones who say model the correct grammar, fact etc...they will pick up on it eventually. 

My MIL is a shameless corrector...and she takes things very literally, pouncing on people for mis-speaking.  She has almost no sense of when someone is kidding or is not to be taken seriously.  She thinks she's helping the stupid folk but it makes every conversation a tedious, hairsplitting ordeal.

I honestly think it's because she is so painfully literal that she can't handle nuances in conversation.

It might also be because she's a mean person.
Can we please agree to give her the benefit of the doubt?  Especially in this thread.  I came here and admitted that I have a flaw I'm trying to work on.  Gen xer says 'my MIL also has this flaw' and you suggest that Gen xer's MIL might just be a mean person.  I know you didn't intend to attack of be mean to me, but that's certainly how it felt.

I never intended to paint you with that same brush, ddawn. I apologize. 

I was refering to gen xer's statement that her mother-in-law pounces on people and turns conversations into ordeals.

Shea

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4111
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2012, 12:07:53 PM »
I agree with PPs, it's really too late to try and correct him. Unless he was saying something really embarrassing, you might have done the right thing by letting it go at the time, especially since you're trying to overcome your reputation as a "correcter". And since he's been making such good progress, there's a good chance that he's corrected his mistake on his own over the last five months, and nobody will gain anything if you bring it up now.


If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, librarians are a global threat.

Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9886
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2012, 12:26:59 PM »
Awesome.  I knew you guys were right, but I still wondered.  Totally going to keep my mouth shut.  Thank you for keeping me from being the know-it-all little sister.

It's hard- I'm the same, right down to being a little sister! And I'm a librarian, which means it's practically reflex. :)
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

ddawn23

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 208
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #23 on: October 09, 2012, 02:53:10 PM »
Awesome.  I knew you guys were right, but I still wondered.  Totally going to keep my mouth shut.  Thank you for keeping me from being the know-it-all little sister.

It's hard- I'm the same, right down to being a little sister! And I'm a librarian, which means it's practically reflex. :)

Well then we've got one more thing in common--I'm a librarian too.  I'm in technical services at an academic library.  Small world.

Moray

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1869
  • My hovercraft is full of eels!
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2012, 12:03:33 PM »
I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing to be gained.
Utah

sourwolf

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 347
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #25 on: October 10, 2012, 12:12:44 PM »
I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing to be gained.

I agree, at this point in time it would definitely come off as obnoxious.  If he's still pronouncing it that way the next time you see him then I would do what others suggested and just say the word correctly.

Magnet

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 155
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #26 on: October 10, 2012, 12:46:06 PM »
One of the joys of learning a foreign language is making mistakes.  I lived in Germany for a while and was trying to improve my vocabulary by reading books.  I came across the word "kahlkopf," which means bald head.  Great word for me because people asked me about my family and my father is bald.  Next chance I got to describe my family, I called my father a "kohlkopf," which is cabbage head.  Everyone (including myself) laughed at my error and I will never forget these words.   

The statute of limitations has expired on correcting your brother, unless of course he still makes this same mistake in your presence.

ddawn23

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 208
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #27 on: October 11, 2012, 01:48:14 PM »
I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing to be gained.

I agree, at this point in time it would definitely come off as obnoxious.  If he's still pronouncing it that way the next time you see him then I would do what others suggested and just say the word correctly.
The issue there is that we won't be in a French-speaking environment, so I would have to either bring it up, which is obnoxious, or start speaking to him in French, which would also be obnoxious.  Thus my post six days ago that said something to the effect of "You guys are right.  I'll keep my mouth shut."

Moray

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1869
  • My hovercraft is full of eels!
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2012, 01:56:12 PM »
I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing to be gained.

I agree, at this point in time it would definitely come off as obnoxious.  If he's still pronouncing it that way the next time you see him then I would do what others suggested and just say the word correctly.
The issue there is that we won't be in a French-speaking environment, so I would have to either bring it up, which is obnoxious, or start speaking to him in French, which would also be obnoxious.  Thus my post six days ago that said something to the effect of "You guys are right.  I'll keep my mouth shut."

Thank you for "correcting" us about posting six days after your update :) Frequently, threads keep moving even after the OP has updated, simply because it turns into a more general discussion of the issue. I hope you didn't feel I was trying to dogpile on you; that was certainly not my intention.
Utah

sourwolf

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 347
Re: Is there a statute of limitations on correcting someone?
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2012, 01:59:31 PM »
I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing to be gained.

I agree, at this point in time it would definitely come off as obnoxious.  If he's still pronouncing it that way the next time you see him then I would do what others suggested and just say the word correctly.
The issue there is that we won't be in a French-speaking environment, so I would have to either bring it up, which is obnoxious, or start speaking to him in French, which would also be obnoxious.  Thus my post six days ago that said something to the effect of "You guys are right.  I'll keep my mouth shut."

Thank you for "correcting" us about posting six days after your update :) Frequently, threads keep moving even after the OP has updated, simply because it turns into a more general discussion of the issue. I hope you didn't feel I was trying to dogpile on you; that was certainly not my intention.

The post you are referring to is #12 in a thread had had gotten to 23 posts before either Moray or I replied.  I'm very sorry you don't appreciate our input but we were hardly the only ones to post after your update six days ago.