Author Topic: older kids shoving younger ones.  (Read 4970 times)

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snowdragon

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older kids shoving younger ones.
« on: October 06, 2012, 09:49:15 PM »
  My family and I went to an aquarium that we are members of for a behind the scenes tour that comes with my membership. The entitlement of some of the folks around me was crazy and at one point prompted me to to tell a kid to knock off shoving.
   Here's what happened. My 7 year old niece and another boy were kneeling at a tank window trying to be considerate and not blocking the view for folks from behind.  When a much older child decided her being there was unacceptable. She shoved her so hard she fell into the corner of the tank and was crying. I told kid that he had hurt her, and he replied with a surly "So, I wanted to be there, she should have moved when I told her to." His mother came over to see why I was speaking to her kid and I told her that he had shoved and hurt Niece. Mother could not have cared less. Then the younger brother of Pusherboy decided he wanted in, and Pusherboy shoved her again, My sister ( Niece's mom got her out of there and went to talk to staff) and I asked Nephew if he was ok. Hearing this Pusherboy said "if he is, he won't be for long." At which point I told him he Would.Not.Shove.Nephew, or any other child again. And myself and a father put ourselves very close to our respective kids.
 After the shark feeding the kid who was shoving, was laughing to his buddy about Niece crying being "cool" and I asked him how old he was. He refused to tell me but his buddy who did not shove his way in and looked sick at the mention of Niece crying said "He's 14"  at which point I asked him why he was getting so much fun out of picking on little kids.  He had no answer for me.

   I guess, I could have handled it better but I am a loss as to how. 

Niece was ok, and when we went on the tour, she forgot all about it when we got to have an encounter with the penguins.

Sharnita

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2012, 09:52:44 PM »
I might have told him he was not too young to be charged with assault

Acadianna

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2012, 10:07:46 PM »
What appalling behavior.  By not dealing with it, his mother has expertly taught him that it's ok to do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

The older boy should have been removed from the tour by the management.

Sharnita

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2012, 10:12:02 PM »
It wouldn't surprise me if mom suggested that he push his way in to begin with.

Amava

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2012, 10:14:12 PM »
I think you handled that just fine. What did the staff have to say?

snowdragon

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2012, 10:18:40 PM »
The boy was not on the tour, sorry I did not make that clear. Our membership carries with it the perk of a private behind the scenes tour. This happened when we were watching the shark feeding just before our tour was to begin.
 

The staff was unamused, but since they did not see it all they could do was post every single staff member on duty on the floor.  The only staff member not watching out for problems - was the one giving us our tour.

LeveeWoman

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2012, 10:20:27 PM »
It wouldn't surprise me if mom suggested that he push his way in to begin with.

Neither would I.

Iris

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2012, 10:20:51 PM »
What a revolting child. I think you handled it perfectly and I'm glad the aquarium staff responded so promptly.
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LeveeWoman

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2012, 10:22:25 PM »
The boy was not on the tour, sorry I did not make that clear. Our membership carries with it the perk of a private behind the scenes tour. This happened when we were watching the shark feeding just before our tour was to begin.
 

The staff was unamused, but since they did not see it all they could do was post every single staff member on duty on the floor.  The only staff member not watching out for problems - was the one giving us our tour.

The staff has to see someone assault a little kid before they'll remove the perp? They wouldn't take the word of two adults and the kids? That's a dangerous policy.

O'Dell

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2012, 10:45:02 PM »
He refused to tell me but his buddy who did not shove his way in and looked sick at the mention of Niece crying said "He's 14"  at which point I asked him why he was getting so much fun out of picking on little kids.  He had no answer for me.

I think you handled it really well. Now he has a peer that knows and can maybe put pressure on him. And him not answering was probably him being ashamed. Maybe between your question and his friend's reaction, he'll think before doing that sort of thing again.

I'm glad your niece didn't let it ruin her day. :)
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kherbert05

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2012, 11:08:09 PM »
Honestly I   have in similar situations said  have you had your Now you are 10 program at school? Yes, then you know I can call the cops for what you just did, they will watch the video, and then they will haul you to jail. It is kind of late and since Mom and Dad have to go before a special type of judge, you will be spending the night in jail. Then you will be found guilty because there is video. You will go to jail for a long time. BTW I'm a teacher and I've had my own students arrested for stealing from me. Followed by my scary teacher look.


The families usually take off as fast as possible. I even had the manager of a grocery store thank me after I said it to two brats that were running a grocery cart full force into elderly women that were shopping 2 of them with canes.


I don't threaten children with cops - I do threaten thugs with them. The older kids in the OP were thugs. I'm only this harsh when the actions could hurt someone.


On the flip side I have called and e-mailed multiple schools/day cares/day camps about the excellent behavior of their students at public events. (The last time I had Loren and Brett at the museum. There was a group of older kids from Victoria. Every time we were at the same exhibit - the older kids would make sure they weren't blocking Loren and Brett's view. They even helped them on some of the hands on things.) I send complements with far greater frequency.
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SPuck

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2012, 10:15:49 AM »
I think this is a situation where it is okay to make the kid "feel bad." The mother was not doing anything, and if the shoving was not caught on tape or seen by someone working at the aquarium, there is not much you can do. At least someone will get a negative reaction by stewing in their guilt.

bonyk

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2012, 10:30:12 AM »
The only thing you could have done is demand that the staff watch the video and throw them out.  However, I'm not sure if I would have done that if Niece got over what happened.

I think what you said to the thug was fine.  I would have hard time remain that civil.

LeveeWoman

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2012, 12:06:55 PM »
The only thing you could have done is demand that the staff watch the video and throw them out.  However, I'm not sure if I would have done that if Niece got over what happened.

I think what you said to the thug was fine.  I would have hard time remain that civil.

I don't know if I'd let this be the deciding factor in whether or not I'd put my foot down. A bully is a bully and he should face consequences for assaulting her.

Sharnita

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Re: older kids shoving younger ones.
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2012, 12:39:16 PM »
The only thing you could have done is demand that the staff watch the video and throw them out.  However, I'm not sure if I would have done that if Niece got over what happened.

I think what you said to the thug was fine.  I would have hard time remain that civil.

I don't know if I'd let this be the deciding factor in whether or not I'd put my foot down. A bully is a bully and he should face consequences for assaulting her.

I agree.  Also, it is not alway easily apparent if a kid is "over" an incident.  Some kids hide their reaction as a coping mechanism.