Etiquette School is in session! > "Have you tried the bean dip?"

Delicious post-putdown beandip

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There is some background which can be found here:

I will take some small responsibility for the situation that occurred today, as I posted a little "mommy pride" on facebook.  However, my mother is not on facebook, so it shouldn't have been an issue.  LK is ready for potty training.  We started yesterday with a big burst of success.  So far, she has sat on the potty twice and peed in it twice.  Last night was just tiny and I thought it was just pure dumb luck.  But this morning, she sat for a solid 10+ minutes until she did her business, and I was just bursting with pride.  So I posted a little note about her success*.  One of my sisters, whom I will dub Sister Knit for the purpose of this post, liked my status update.

It's Canadian Thanksgiving and we are Canadian, so we trundled off to my parents for dinner today.  It was mostly fine.  Early in the day, Sister Knit brought up LK's potty training success.  My mom was standing there and didn't know what we were talking about, so I explained that LK had started potty training and successfully used her little potty this morning.
Mom: What?!  Oh, no, Knitterly, you can't push her like that.  She's not ready.  She's too little.
Me: (putting on my best confused face) Oh no, she actually went.  Twice.  She went both times we put her on.
Mom: (rolling her eyes like a 15 year old) So in other words you just got lucky.
(uh, pardon me?!  Isn't that the very definition of early potty training?  Lots of luck and good timing?  Maybe the first time was luck, but is sitting for 10 minutes still just luck?)
Me: Is the beandip ready in the kitchen?  Can I help you get anything together?

I could have kissed Mr. K a little later when he bounced in all happy and daddy-proud.
"So, mom, did Knitterly tell you about Little Knit's success?"
My mom, naturally, got all smiley and started talking about how LK will probably do really well with her training because she's so much like Sister Knit (who was right there) in her personality, etc.  *headdesk*

*Note about my facebook: 90% of my facebook revolves around Little Knit.  Mr K has lots of family in another country and family make up the majority of my facebook friends.  I've been told by friends and family alike that they enjoy seeing my LK updates, so a potty training update was not out of place or inappropriate.

Goodness, your mother is determined to be a sourpuss, isn't she? Next time I wouldn't even explain what you are talking about - just apply the beandip straight away.

Maybe you were more of a potty training challenge. >:D

My feeling is whatever works.

I think it is great you're posting her little changes for family.
My granddaughter is 10 hours away by car.  If her father didn't post her little successes and failures I would feel like I didn't know her.

I am going to see her for the fourth time since she as born next week but I'm going in knowing what she is doing and some of her likes and dislikes.

Also because of this he is comfortable calling me when he has a problem with her or there is a question he is unsure of.,

Facebook has revolutionized family dynamics. (I think mostly for the better).

Knitterly, there's absolutely nothing wrong with posting these updates about your kid... as long as you don't post photos of the contents of the potty.  NOBODY wants to see that!   ;D

Okay, I know you won't want to hear this.  But anyway....

While I will agree that your mom should have kept her comments to herself - she could be right.  Your daughter is about 14 months old, right?  Most respected child-care experts would not consider that to be "ready" for potty training - generally, more like 18 months, minimum.  It's true that parents can sit a child on this age on the potty and possibly get results - but the child is not really "trained", as in recognising the signals that the body is giving.  She's likely simply attempting to do what is expected - and honestly, twice is not really that big of a deal.  Yes, it might be to you, and that's fine, but it doesn't mean that you have to expect everyone else to be just as excited.

Your child, your decision of course.  But to an extent I can understand where your mom is coming from.  I will probably become a grandma in the next five years or so, and TBH I'd find it kind of distressing if the parents were attempting potty-training so early.  I would likely not say anything, but I'd be concerned.  Grandparents are allowed to be concerned.


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