What should I have done?

[Yvaine]

YummyMummy, it's at the very beginning of the OP.

We hosted a party last night in our home.  I posted a thread asking about menu suggestions and it was (wisely) suggested that I inquire about allergies, etc.  We inquired, and every person attending said there were no food issues.

[miranova]

Yummy Mummy,

I would be very disappointed if a guest of mine went away hungry, which is why I asked in advance if there were any food restrictions.  I do want to actually feed my guests at a dinner party!

I agree that cheese is an extremely popular ingredient in a variety of recipes.

I think my dinner party was small enough (ended up being 10 people instead of 12) that I didn't necessarily need 2 desserts but I understand there could be a difference of opinion there. 

[mj]

I don't think you did anything wrong, OP.  It read to me that he might have been wanting to give you a heads up in case he had to make a quick exit/didn't eat very much and did not want to offend you. 

As an aside, I'm lactose intolerant and frequently forget about it.  I do not mention it because I can take a handy pill and/or limit my dairy intake as needed.  Also, I'm not sure if you did say the meal was Italian upfront, but for me, it still wouldn't cross my mind that there might be a lot of cheese. Most of the Italian meals in my family are very little cheese and only small amounts of pasta at the most.  Maybe that was this guests background in Italian cuisine too?  But no matter, OP, you did nothing wrong.