Wedding hotel overbooked - could I have handled this better?

[cattlekid]

This weekend was my cousin's wedding.  DH was a groomsman.  The reception was held at a local university in their student center.  There was an attached hotel in which a room block was held.  I placed my reservation back in April when the room block was announced. 

During the rehearsal on Friday night, the hotel manager called to tell me that the hotel was overbooked and asked me if I would be willing to take a room at another hotel 5 minutes away for free for both nights.  Since I do not drink and there would be no issue with drinking and driving, I told the manager that it would be fine.  I did not let anyone in the bridal party or the parents know that I had done so, because there were no parts of the wedding events that required us to be overnighted in the same hotel as the reception venue, it was just something to make things easier.

Well, the manager then apparently called at least one member of the bridal party to ask the same question.  Things escalated from there and I found out that the groom (my cousin) was furious that we acquiesced to be moved.  I figured that it would be no different either way as we didn't leave early from the reception or anything to get to the other hotel and I didn't say anything to anyone in the BP in order not to cause anyone any stress.

Now I'm beginning to wonder....should I have declined and let someone from the BP know what was happening so they could have called the hotel right away and addressed the issue?

[dawbs]

you were fine.
The bridal party has more than enough on their plate--you weren't horribly put out, and you took what was offered.  Involving the bridal party could have caused a lot of stress.

(I can understand being annoyed at being asked to be moved.  And refusing.  But them being annoyed/refusing has no bearing on YOU allowing it and not caring)

[kareng57]

I too don't see any problem.  Overbooking does happen, and generally hotels do make generous offers like this.  Just because the other people in the WP refused to move does not mean that you should have done the same.

And I also agree that there was no reason to have involved the HC; what could they have really done anyway?

[PastryGoddess]

This is a process called walking.  You should have contacted the bridal party.  The hotel should have never contacted anyone in the block without getting the Ok from your cousin.  In fact, most room blocks are protected from walking since there is obviously a reason they want to all be in the same hotel.  A quick call or chat from the groom or whomever, would have stopped it in its tracks and you would have been in the same hotel as the rest of the wedding guests and there would have been no stress.

I think the groom was so furious because you agreed to move and the hotel already made the other reservation for you and gave your room to someone else, so there was no way to get you back in the hotel at that point

[Outdoor Girl]

If you had stayed, you would have had to pay for your room, right?  By walking you, you got your room free for two nights.  So that's a significant savings.  I don't think you did anything wrong.

The hotel must have been desperate for your room if they paid for you to stay somewhere else.

[WillyNilly]

I think you were fine, and generous, to agree to move.  And whoo-hoo!  Free room!

But I get where the groom is coming from.  I'm getting married next week and I was told to wait until this week to arrange the shuttle bus the hotel provides for guests to/from the location.  And I called today and was told the shuttle bus was reserved by another bridal party.  Livid does not begin to describe my [internal] reaction.  How could that even happen unless I was lied to or the other bride jumped the gun on booking the shuttle?  The sole reason I chose the hotel I did was for the dang shuttle!  So I understand the groom hearing that he had rooms reserved and booked and then the hotel drops the ball?  Its not ok. The bride and groom planned ahead.  They were responsible.  This is not stress they need to deal with!

I think the groom was mad on that front - that he was essentially lied to by the hotel and that his guests were the ones being shorted and mis-treated, in favor of other guests.  There's nothing you could have done differently though - telling him earlier would have just pushed up his annoyance, not lessened it in any way.

[Devix]

When I worked at a hotel, we would have never walked someone who was part of a wedding/group block and with good reason.

When you're blocked in on a group we would usually set aside a floor or a wing just for that group of people to keep them close together and to make things easier for everyone involved to communicate.  By taking the offer you are giving up your room in that certain floor and opening it up for an outsider to have a room amidst all the wedding rooms.  Now, weddings are usually noise affairs and even after the reception is done people will wander from room to room and there may even be after parties going on in some of the other rooms.  This is one of the reasons we block rooms together so the noise is confined and it doesn't bother the other guests.

I'm willing to bet that there is going to be noise going on within the rooms at night and the people who have now taken your room are going to be annoyed by it and are going to complain.  Front desk will have to ask everyone to keep it down, the weddings guests will feel chastised and probably p*ssed off that they can't celebrate and the outside guest will be annoyed that their rest is being disturbed.  I can absolutely see why the Groom would be angry at the hotel (not at you, you didn't do anything wrong) for pulling something like this. 

Frankly, the people who set up the block should always be the first ones contacted in case something like this happens though the block should always be the last resort if you are overbooked. 

[WillyNilly]

Another reason the hotel was wrong and the groom was probably annoyed - the morning after brunch is a real possibility.  Even just an informal one, in the same dining area as everyone else is not unusual, just like the pre-planned, perhaps private room or reserved tables brunch.  I know for example my future in-laws are staying at the hotel we blocked and have sent out an email just a few days ago to their family, and asked DF & I to forward to any of our friends and my side, to say lets all meet in the hotel restaurant for brunch the morning after the wedding.  This email was to all staying in the hotel, but also to people who live in the area (so a lot of money for the hotel restaurant!)  You being at a different hotel makes you joining less of a reality, whereas if you were in the hotel with them, you'd easily be included if there is any morning after event.

[SPuck]

I think you handled everything fine with the information you had at the time. If the groom is made he can take it out on the hotel for initiating this series of events in the first place, not on you.

[cattlekid]

For what it's worth, apparently there was a conference also going on at the hotel that had attendees from all over the world.  So from what I can surmise, I believe the hotel manager was contacting "local" people that presumably had a vehicle and would be able to travel back and forth.  The town where all this took place is somewhat small (less than 45,000 people) so there isn't a ton of public transportation to get around if you are from out of town.

[cattlekid]

No wedding brunch was planned.  The hotel itself did not have a restaurant as it was in the university student center and was really just a glorified dorm.

Another reason the hotel was wrong and the groom was probably annoyed - the morning after brunch is a real possibility.  Even just an informal one, in the same dining area as everyone else is not unusual, just like the pre-planned, perhaps private room or reserved tables brunch.  I know for example my future in-laws are staying at the hotel we blocked and have sent out an email just a few days ago to their family, and asked DF & I to forward to any of our friends and my side, to say lets all meet in the hotel restaurant for brunch the morning after the wedding.  This email was to all staying in the hotel, but also to people who live in the area (so a lot of money for the hotel restaurant!)  You being at a different hotel makes you joining less of a reality, whereas if you were in the hotel with them, you'd easily be included if there is any morning after event.

[Mikayla]

The only thing I know for sure, OP, is that you did nothing wrong. 

On the rest, I can understand why the groom was annoyed at the hotel, but I do not understand him being annoyed at guests who agreed to be moved.  I'm assuming that those called had the option to decline.  And if they decided free rooms was worth the hassle, to me that's a good thing. 

Maybe that needs clarification.  If he was furious because he thought you'd been inconvenienced, that could have been easily explained to him by pointing out that 2 nights of free hotel is a great offer.  If he didn't like his bloc being messed with, that makes more sense, but then I don't get why he was angry at guests.

[PastryGoddess]

I read it as the groom was mad at the hotel for asking, not at his guests for saying yes.  but I could be wrong

[rose red]

I read it as the groom was mad at the hotel for asking, not at his guests for saying yes.  but I could be wrong

I read it as the groom was annoyed at the OP for "giving in" even though she's happy with the free room.  Hopefully the OP can clear up this confusion.

[Sharnita]

I read it as the groom was mad at the hotel for asking, not at his guests for saying yes.  but I could be wrong

I read it as the groom was annoyed at the OP for "giving in" even though she's happy with the free room.  Hopefully the OP can clear up this confusion.

That's how I took it as well