I posted some time ago about a babysitter that wasn't working out. I can't post a link to the original thread because I asked a Mod to remove it. Long story short, the person was needy, entitled, and immature to the point where it was starting to become burdensome to keep her around.
Right before a major transition in my DD's life, she quit with no warning. It was a mixed blessing because, while it solved the problem of dealing with an increasingly uncomfortable situation that was quickly coming to an inevitable end, I didn't know she was quitting until 11 pm the night before the transition for my daughter. She had sent an email and because I rarely check the account, it was only by dumb luck that I received notification in time to save my work week.
After a stressful transition to a new school and a difficult and intense search for a new caregiver, we have finally settled into a much better situation. We were able to find someone who so far has been a perfect fit and is the picture of reliability and stellar work ethic. She's been with us for almost three weeks now and I couldn't be happier with her.
Well, today, I received an email from old babysitter. After a detailed description of recent events in her life, she wants to apologize now for putting us in a difficult position. All of this seems reasonable.
Until we get to the fifth paragraph of her email. She wants to continue tutoring my daughter (she speaks a specific foreign language we are trying to expose DD to), but is only offering to do so if we agree to do it close to her home. She wants to pick up DD from school and spend an afternoon with her every week, then meet me later on to pick her up. If that plan doesn't work for us, then she still wants to meet with us one more time "to say goodbye and make the transition less painful for everybody."
I won't even begin to say what's on my mind about the whole "making it easier for everyone" bit. This happened a month ago. The only person that would benefit emotionally from one more visit is her. And I am DONE stroking her ego at my DD's expense. She up and left without so much as a by-your-leave right when we needed help the most, didn't even acknowledge that my 3yo was attached to her and had to deal with her sudden disappearance, and now wants to spend unsupervised time with her every week *on her terms*?
Am I overreacting to be upset about this? I plan on writing back the following email:
Thank you for the update. I'm glad to see that things are calming down and that you and yours are doing well. We have established a routine and DD is doing great in her new school.
I appreciate that you had a special friendship with her; however, our new situation is only now beginning to settle, and I do not want DD to get mixed messages. While we understand why you could no longer be available to help us, I think it's better for DD if we don't complicate the current situation with any visits.
We wish you all the best."
I have also notified the school and my DD's teachers that, if she comes to the school and asks to see DD, I want her nowhere near my daughter. I don't think she's dangerous, but I wouldn't put it past her to "happen by" one day just to get closure for herself.
Any suggested changes for my response? Am I right to be angry?
Edited for typos.