Author Topic: The. Very. Nerve. (BG in Post #15, Updates in post 66 and 68 [!])  (Read 17118 times)

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lowspark

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #60 on: October 11, 2012, 10:50:22 AM »
I'm seriously considering letting her box of stuff that I sent her be my message that we're done and blocking her email now without replying.

I think that's a great idea.

Roe

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #61 on: October 11, 2012, 11:06:28 AM »
Based on your description, I am not sure ignoring her email will let her know not to contact you again, otherwise, I'd have said to ignore it.  If you think she will recognize the lack of contact as you ignoring her, then it'll work. Otherwise, I think a quick "Thank you. We no longer need your services. Goodbye." may be needed.  But only you can answer that question.

Good luck!

BarensMom

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #62 on: October 11, 2012, 11:36:02 AM »
I hope you sent that box of stuff return receipt or whatever it is that makes the recipient sign for the box.  You might need the proof that it was sent and received.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #63 on: October 11, 2012, 11:53:17 AM »
Dear Ex-Babysitter,

DD has transitioned quite well. No further tutoring or contact is necessary.

Lexophile

Then block her e-mail.

If you do decide to send an e-mail, I like this one.  There are no 'nice' words in it, like thank you and please but it isn't rude and gets the message across quite well.

But if you decide to let the box of stuff be your message, I think that's fine, too.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

rose red

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #64 on: October 11, 2012, 12:02:43 PM »
Dear Ex-Babysitter,

DD has transitioned quite well. No further tutoring or contact is necessary.

Lexophile

Then block her e-mail.

If you do decide to send an e-mail, I like this one.  There are no 'nice' words in it, like thank you and please but it isn't rude and gets the message across quite well.

But if you decide to let the box of stuff be your message, I think that's fine, too.

I like this one the best of all too.  Like you said, no nice words but no harsh ones either.  I think all this person deserves from the OP is indifference.

Lexophile

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15)
« Reply #65 on: October 11, 2012, 12:54:03 PM »
I hope you sent that box of stuff return receipt or whatever it is that makes the recipient sign for the box.  You might need the proof that it was sent and received.

Yep. FedEx with a tracking number.
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

Lexophile

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15, Update in post 66)
« Reply #66 on: October 11, 2012, 03:38:19 PM »
**UPDATE**

The package was delivered today. She sent a short email thanking me for it.

I replied with a simple email that said, "Good luck to you, <old babysitter's name>."

I hope that's the end of it.
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

Danika

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15, Update in post 66)
« Reply #67 on: October 11, 2012, 04:40:52 PM »
Glad you sent the package.

In my experience, people like her are so self-absorbed that anything you say to them will not compute. No matter what you say, how clear, vague, long-winded, brief, shocking, polite or diplomatic, she's going to blame *you* and think *you* were rude and at fault.

I agree with the PP who said just do what's best for your mental-health. If it's therapeutic to tell her off, do it. If it's less stress on you to delete and block email and phone, do it.

Lexophile

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15, Update in post 66, 68[!])
« Reply #68 on: October 12, 2012, 03:51:44 PM »
**NEW UPDATE**

The fun never ends. She's upset now at the message that we don't want to see her anymore. She says that her son (13 years old) is "devastated that we won't see DD anymore" and that she doesn't "understand our family's apparent decision to cut off contact." She even had the nerve to lecture ME on not breaking my daughter's heart. As if we are pining away for her? I don't get it!

What do I do now? She obviously doesn't get the hint that we aren't going to meet with her. Here is what I propose as my response:

"I need to think about DD now.

It wasn't easy to explain to her why you suddenly weren't there anymore. It took us awhile to settle into a good routine for her. I do not want to confuse her.

You said in your previous email that you understand if we want no further contact. Please respect my wishes. Thank you."

"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

NyaChan

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15, Update in post 66)
« Reply #69 on: October 12, 2012, 03:55:12 PM »
I recommend not responding.  You said you didn't want to have contact with her - you have essentially given her the cut direct, now hold to it. Responding in any way tells her that you didn't mean it when you said you didn't want further contact.

rose red

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (more background in Post #15, Update in post 66)
« Reply #70 on: October 12, 2012, 03:56:11 PM »
I think you need to block her email/phone number, etc. 

Even if you'll never let her see you in person, if you emal her back, you are still giving her the attention to her drama which is what she wants anyway.  Do not respond.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2012, 03:58:04 PM by rose red »

Lexophile

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (BG in Post #15, Updates in post 66, 68[!])
« Reply #71 on: October 12, 2012, 03:59:15 PM »
I think I've decided to do just that. My inner eHellion is saying, "Hey, Lex, don't engage the crazy."

I'm shaking I'm so angry at her right now. She really has a pair of big ones to be incredulous with me after what she's pulled.
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

lowspark

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (BG in Post #15, Updates in post 66 and 68 [!])
« Reply #72 on: October 12, 2012, 04:01:40 PM »
Yes. Another vote for
-don't respond
-block her email & phone
-go have a glass of wine and forget about her. She's not worth the aggravation.

Miss Unleaded

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (BG in Post #15, Updates in post 66 and 68 [!])
« Reply #73 on: October 12, 2012, 04:03:29 PM »
Is it possible she will show up on your doorstep unannounced if she doesn't hear back from you? 

SoCalVal

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Re: The. Very. Nerve. (BG in Post #15, Updates in post 66 and 68 [!])
« Reply #74 on: October 12, 2012, 04:04:20 PM »
Yes. Another vote for
-don't respond
-block her email & phone
-go have a glass of wine and forget about her. She's not worth the aggravation.

Pod.  Don't JADE since she's obviously trying to go that route.  You'll feel much better for just cutting off contact now.