Author Topic: Things nobody tells you about parenting  (Read 3938 times)

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Hollanda

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #75 on: August 29, 2014, 07:04:39 AM »
They can go from 0 to crazy in 60 seconds or less.
 
They have no idea of boundaries. Why should they, they're kids! Case in point: DS told the whole of the bus that he can poo on his potty now. I wasn't embarrassed or anything...given I have this conversation with him daily and I am now desensitised to it.
 
Kids can be loveable one minute and demons the next.  DS likes giving me "little" kisses (just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle one, Mummy, really little" using his finger and thumb to demonstrate how small the kiss is going to be)...he then takes my face, kisses me very, very softly on the lips and then hugs me. Two minutes later, he "tickles" me, and ends up ripping my poor face to ribbons (despite cutting his nails every 2 days or so, they grow rapidly and if you're not careful they end up like razors).  His "tickling" involves grabbing and scratching.  Hard.  Ow.  >:(
 
Mornings can be the best.  No, not being sarcastic...mornings with a kid are fun. Fun from the minute they bound chirpily into your bedroom and rouse you from a peaceful sleep by shouting "MUMMY WAKE UP NOW!!!" If you don't wake up immediately, said child then tries every imaginable trick, including:
- opening your eyes manually with both his hands, forcing you to look at him through a sleep-filled, bleary gaze.  This hurts.  Really hurts.
- repeatedly shouting "MUMMY WAKE UP NOW I WANT FOOD!!!"
- sticking his tongue in Mummy's ear.  This is horrible  and has the desired effect.
- sticking a finger up your nose.  This, too, is horrible.
- pretending to bite your nose.
 Once downstairs with child, then comes the amusement of the breakfast routine, which changes just as you have become used to the previous one.  At the moment, he wants his cereal in a bowl, with the milk in a cup.  Got it? NO MILK ON THE CEREAL.  Ok. If any milk comes into contact with the cereal, the whole lot is on the floor and the cycle begins again.  He carries his cereal bowl to "the other room" and Mummy carries his cup. The cup is set down to his right.  His Thomas spoon is a necessity, without it he will surely die.  Or just scream until Mummy washes it.
 
- Apple juice and apple squash are not and will never be the same thing.  Apple juice is something to be detested and avoided at all costs, whereas apple juice is delicious.  Apples themselves are to be thrown on the ground and not even considered.  Same with orange juice.  However, pieces of orange are better than biscuits, but not as good as raisins.
 
- Your phone is no longer yours.  Your iPad is no longer yours.  Everything is for your child's amusement or development. You might as well kiss the TV remote goodbye for good.  Or just until they go to sleep.
 
- You find that days without a nap are infintely harder and slower than they were when they used to have naps.  That nap was when you got everything done.  Without the nap, it's just one long slog.  Only it's somehow not, because the time conspires against you when you have housework, ironing, washing up and everything else to do whilst your toddler creates mayhem as fast as you're cleaning it.
 
- Wine is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.
 
- No matter how bad things feel, our kids are still the best things ever to happen to us and once they are safely cocooned in bed, it's easier to laugh and smile.  ;D
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.


XRogue

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #76 on: August 29, 2014, 09:04:09 AM »
Nobody ever tells you that yea, kids will make incredible messes when you aren't looking. Mine dumped out a gallon (!!) of cooking oil in the kitchen floor once. By the time I caught up with them, they were using it for a slip and slide.


I'm not a parent, but if that were my kids, I probably would have joined in! Woohoo!  :D

Had the kitchen been bigger, I would have too!

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #77 on: August 29, 2014, 12:31:43 PM »
Much agreement here with the "life with a toddler can be really boring" thing.  There were evenings in which I would be counting down the moments till it was time to put him to bed.  The days really are long; the years really are short.

There are moments your child will astound you.  When my son was ten and used the word "revanchist", I had to go look it up online. 

Then there are moments he will do something so stupid, you wonder if oxygen deprivation happened without your knowledge.  last year, he was rinsing his hands in the kitchen sink, and shook the excess water all over the kitchen floor, rather than bother with grabbing a paper towel.  And then tried to justify it.  And, argued with me when I told him to wipe up his mess.    >:(

No matter what your parenting plan is, you will stick to some of it and toss other aspects.  I was going to breastfeed only, not permit him to watch TV, and not allow toy guns.  He was solely bottle-fed, had a Blues Clues addiction by the time he was two, and his toy chest contained an arsenal.  For a couple years, all he wanted to play was "soldier." (I did adhere to my no sweets plan, till his first birthday, with the end result that he disliked sugar for a very long time, and thus I have no cute smooshed cake pics from his first birthday.)

Nobody tells you that for a full two years before your child is eligible to get his driving permit, you will, on occasion, awaken in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, worrying about him getting behind the wheel of a car.

Nobody tells you that your kid is going to be who he's going to be, and while your parenting has some influence, there is no way to control or predict.  The brilliant little boy with the stellar IQ, darling of the G&T class, is now a top-notch slacker who has low-graded his way out of consideration for the college he had always wanted to attend.  No amount of encouragement or exposure to culture or cautionary tales has made any impact.  (he is slowly discovering on his own that he's limiting his own future, but I just pray it's not too little, too late.)

It's also rarely mentioned that early, positive involvement in Church does not mean that your kid might not decide he's an atheist at age 12, agnostic at 16. 

On a more positive note, new parents need to know that, in between the times you could strangle him with your bare hands, you will just enjoy the heck out of the person he is becoming, and would rather spend time with him than almost anyone else, (although he prefers his friends over his mom, LOL!!)
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical

lowspark

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #78 on: August 29, 2014, 12:56:33 PM »
A lot of times the "stupid" stuff they do isn't really as much stupid as it is unwise. Wisdom tends to grow with experience. It's often because they lack life experience that they are unable to predict the consequences of their actions. The hope is that they either acquire the experience and suffer consequences mild enough not to be life-changing but harsh enough that they internalize it, OR that they (eventually) are able to learn from observing other people suffering consequences and internalize that.

artk2002

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #79 on: August 29, 2014, 01:23:42 PM »
No matter how well you prepare, it still hurts when they leave home.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Shalamar

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #80 on: August 29, 2014, 03:30:05 PM »
Quote
- Wine is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.

I want that on a bumper sticker!

Re the "stupid" stuff:  I remember when my very intelligent 16-year-old daughter was going to make mashed potatoes for dinner.  She peeled the spuds, cut them up - and then started looking for the potato masher.  When I said "Um, aren't you going to cook them?", she said in disbelief "I have to cook them, too?".

Two Ravens

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #81 on: August 29, 2014, 04:07:36 PM »
Quote
- Wine is no longer a luxury, but a necessity.

I want that on a bumper sticker!

Re the "stupid" stuff:  I remember when my very intelligent 16-year-old daughter was going to make mashed potatoes for dinner.  She peeled the spuds, cut them up - and then started looking for the potato masher.  When I said "Um, aren't you going to cook them?", she said in disbelief "I have to cook them, too?".

Ha! One of my parent's friends' son had recently moved into a college apartment that came complete with a dishwasher. One day soon after, he called his mom and mentioned that the dishwasher wasn't getting the dishes clean. She asked him what kind of soap he was using. There was a long pause before the kid said "...soap?"

andi

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #82 on: August 29, 2014, 07:22:11 PM »
Quote
Then there are moments he will do something so stupid, you wonder if oxygen deprivation happened without your knowledge.  last year, he was rinsing his hands in the kitchen sink, and shook the excess water all over the kitchen floor, rather than bother with grabbing a paper towel.  And then tried to justify it.  And, argued with me when I told him to wipe up his mess.

Wait - when did my child go live with you?  Mine did the exact same thing the other day, all over the bathroom

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Things nobody tells you about parenting
« Reply #83 on: August 30, 2014, 11:05:13 AM »
Quote
Then there are moments he will do something so stupid, you wonder if oxygen deprivation happened without your knowledge.  last year, he was rinsing his hands in the kitchen sink, and shook the excess water all over the kitchen floor, rather than bother with grabbing a paper towel.  And then tried to justify it.  And, argued with me when I told him to wipe up his mess.

Wait - when did my child go live with you?  Mine did the exact same thing the other day, all over the bathroom

Evidently, one of us is missing one of a set of identical twins who got separated at birth!   ;D 
Soft silly music is meaningful, magical