My MIL who is sabotaging the way that my nephew is being disciplined.
My nephew (son of my SIL) is curently 8 years old. SIL is a single mom by choice (dad is a donor in the literal sense). Nephew has a bunch of issues; he has a lower intelligence; he is just learning to write his first words for example. He also has some behavioral issues, mainly due to a lack of impulse control and not being able to control his own emotions very well. It is also because his mom did't really know how to handle him for many years; since a year she has gotten professional help with that.
He spends at least one weekend per month with his grandparents (MIL and FIL) because SIL has to work one weekend per month. Whenever he does something naughty MIL is usually like 'oh well, he is just a kid, kids do those things'. Yesterday he ran into the sea with his shoes on, even though he has been warned several times not to. He threw sand into niece's face, and when FIL tries to grab his arm he attempted to trip FIL and started screaming. FIL declared the beach trip over, MIL was like 'but he's just a kid who does kid things'.
This happens every time. FIL has to be the boogeyman every time, and MIL sabotages his attempts to correct nephew. Sometimes she also sabotages the attempts of SIL to correct her own son. I know that FIL doesn't really like the weekend-stays anymore, and that's such a shame. It's also a shame for nephew, because his other family start to kinda dislike him because there is always some sort of incident when there is a family gathering. We know he can't help it really, but we maintain a bit more distance now because of it.
I think it stems from MIL's own desire not to have 'conflict', but she really doesn't see how she is harming everyone in the long run. And I really worry for the future of nephew.
On top of that; nephew still has trouble with knowing when to go to the toilet. Accidents still happen often, even with nr2. When my DH suggested that a doctor should be visited for that, he got a surprised response, as in, 'why is a doctor needed there?'. If toilet training isn't working well for 6 years, why doesn't anyone think that the problem is being physical?