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Author Topic: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers  (Read 2582953 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2325 on: February 26, 2014, 10:49:33 AM »
We have a lot of reviewers in our neighborhood.  It isn't unusual to find a box of books or CDs out on the sidewalk for 'adoption'.

They're not really throwing the material away because someone will take it home but they're scrupulous about not selling the things. 

#borecore

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2326 on: February 26, 2014, 12:51:12 PM »
I will say that a reviewer who was once dear to me used to sell his movies and books to used media stores. He made hundreds of dollars a year, but wouldn't do more than 1 box at a place each year. It was wrong, but he only sold things that didn't have marks indicating advance/special copies and were already in wide circulation, so no one was wiser.

I don't think there is anything wrong with selling them once the book/movie/record is in wide circulation. You can't keep everything so what else can he do with it? Throw it away?

Since it was part of our publication's policy that we were not to profit from any 'freebies' from work (a pretty standard journalistic policy), he was free to do whatever, except sell it. MOST copies of movies and books were sold at an annual office charity sale.

I got lots of free books, wine, ice cream, movie tickets. I never sold any of them.

dawbs

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2327 on: February 26, 2014, 01:03:46 PM »
I will say that a reviewer who was once dear to me used to sell his movies and books to used media stores. He made hundreds of dollars a year, but wouldn't do more than 1 box at a place each year. It was wrong, but he only sold things that didn't have marks indicating advance/special copies and were already in wide circulation, so no one was wiser.

I don't think there is anything wrong with selling them once the book/movie/record is in wide circulation. You can't keep everything so what else can he do with it? Throw it away?

someone who reviews things locally gives them to the local library booksale.  Which is why I have a few reviewer copies on my shelves :)

Since it was part of our publication's policy that we were not to profit from any 'freebies' from work (a pretty standard journalistic policy), he was free to do whatever, except sell it. MOST copies of movies and books were sold at an annual office charity sale.

I got lots of free books, wine, ice cream, movie tickets. I never sold any of them.

Jones

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2328 on: February 28, 2014, 03:28:07 PM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.
“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2329 on: February 28, 2014, 04:08:16 PM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.
Personally, I think the blunt "No way in eHell.  If he shows up here I'm calling the cops," is preferable to the polite circumlocution.
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Luci

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2330 on: February 28, 2014, 04:29:21 PM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon.
Personally, I think the blunt "No way in eHell.  If he shows up here I'm calling the cops," is preferable to the polite circumlocution.

I wouldn't be that blunt unless backed against a wall where "No way in hell!" is the only response. I would never be able to host him, and I definitely would leave my purse and my favorite leather gloves in the car when visiting! Don't know what I would do about the kids, though. If old enough, just tell them the truth. If still preschoolers, probably find a sitter or not be able to attend that get-together.

Jones

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2331 on: February 28, 2014, 04:43:57 PM »
Kids are staying far away from him because I don't trust him to not escalate and think a ransom is a good idea (maybe I'm paranoid but really, maybe not). He's on his third strike but I don't have to be a part of that. I didn't even think of family get togethers. If he shows up to Grandma's Easter Sunday gathering my little brood will be out the door and headed to a Burger King very quickly. I really, really don't want to have anything to do with him.

Ohmigosh it's my first real, true Cut Direct. Every other cut in my life has involved icy politeness.
“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

gramma dishes

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2332 on: February 28, 2014, 04:55:15 PM »
I imagine that at least your sister will join you in your ... ahem ... sentiments about "helping" your brother reintegrate into society. 

Let the others do as they wish, but stand your own ground -- as you are!  Good for you.

jedikaiti

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2333 on: February 28, 2014, 05:04:38 PM »
Just say No and keep saying it. If you REALLY need to add more words, say that he's already blown all his chances with you, and that's it. Then revert to "No" and say nothing else.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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Lorelei_Evil

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2334 on: February 28, 2014, 05:07:45 PM »
Kids are staying far away from him because I don't trust him to not escalate and think a ransom is a good idea (maybe I'm paranoid but really, maybe not). He's on his third strike but I don't have to be a part of that. I didn't even think of family get togethers. If he shows up to Grandma's Easter Sunday gathering my little brood will be out the door and headed to a Burger King very quickly. I really, really don't want to have anything to do with him.

Ohmigosh it's my first real, true Cut Direct. Every other cut in my life has involved icy politeness.

You can do it.  Look at what you've accomplished in your own life this past year or so.  (((HUG)))

cabbagegirl28

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2335 on: February 28, 2014, 05:29:05 PM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.

Remind yourself that "No." is a complete sentence.




Vita brevis, ars longa

Jones

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2336 on: February 28, 2014, 09:06:15 PM »
I am happy to say that I have been virtually high-fived by my mom and two sisters.  8) Also my Grandma won't let Scam Brother at her house so an Easter surprise should be avoided. If not, there are several willing to help enforce the house rule.

Unfortunately lines seem to be drawn a bit. My family isn't very prone to drama, I am hoping this stays fairly low key. I do hope Scam Brother has turned over a leaf and won't hurt those who are trying to help him again. I do. But those of us who have young children (including my mom, my youngest adopted brother is 5) need to protect those children.
“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

Clarin

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2337 on: March 01, 2014, 07:52:14 AM »
I'm not sure how this could be a scam but I feel like it is. Both DH and I have received calls on our cells from people saying, "You called my phone half an hour ago at 123-4567. Could you please call me back and let me know why you called?"

The numbers are in our area code and only a few digits off our numbers, which makes me doubt it's one of those 'call back and get routed to a Caribbean country and pay a fortune' things. Anyone know what it is?

(No, we didn't call back, since we knew we didn't call them.)

Dazi

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2338 on: March 01, 2014, 07:56:04 AM »
I'm not sure how this could be a scam but I feel like it is. Both DH and I have received calls on our cells from people saying, "You called my phone half an hour ago at 123-4567. Could you please call me back and let me know why you called?"

The numbers are in our area code and only a few digits off our numbers, which makes me doubt it's one of those 'call back and get routed to a Caribbean country and pay a fortune' things. Anyone know what it is?

(No, we didn't call back, since we knew we didn't call them.)

Well you can check your out calls list just to be sure.  Maybe you but dialed them or something.  I'd just ignore them.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





kherbert05

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2339 on: March 01, 2014, 08:40:17 AM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.
I think what you have here is fine. One thing I would add. If your kids are in school, please notify the school not to allow scam brother access to your children - even if someone authorized is with him. To deny access to anyone not a parent/guardian all we need is a letter from the parents. 


We just had a scary incident at my school involving domestic violence. We didn't have the paper work needed to keep the person (parent) picking up the kids from leaving with them. Fortunately now the custodial parent has an RO, the kids weren't physically hurt and are getting counseling.  (Small town and I happen to know the abuser's family has sent a clear message they are supporting the victims and abuser needs to leave them alone and get help NOW)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future