Author Topic: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers  (Read 662378 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

cabbagegirl28

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1188
  • violinp's my sister :)
    • My Fitness/Singing Blog
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2370 on: February 28, 2014, 06:29:05 PM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.

Remind yourself that "No." is a complete sentence.


"To study and practice the goodness of life, the beauty of art, the meaning of music...To speak the words that build, that bless and comfort...And again, to practice./This is to be our symphony."

Jones

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2606
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2371 on: February 28, 2014, 10:06:15 PM »
I am happy to say that I have been virtually high-fived by my mom and two sisters.  8) Also my Grandma won't let Scam Brother at her house so an Easter surprise should be avoided. If not, there are several willing to help enforce the house rule.

Unfortunately lines seem to be drawn a bit. My family isn't very prone to drama, I am hoping this stays fairly low key. I do hope Scam Brother has turned over a leaf and won't hurt those who are trying to help him again. I do. But those of us who have young children (including my mom, my youngest adopted brother is 5) need to protect those children.

Clarin

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 79
    • Heather Wardell, Women's Fiction
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2372 on: March 01, 2014, 08:52:14 AM »
I'm not sure how this could be a scam but I feel like it is. Both DH and I have received calls on our cells from people saying, "You called my phone half an hour ago at 123-4567. Could you please call me back and let me know why you called?"

The numbers are in our area code and only a few digits off our numbers, which makes me doubt it's one of those 'call back and get routed to a Caribbean country and pay a fortune' things. Anyone know what it is?

(No, we didn't call back, since we knew we didn't call them.)

Dazi

  • like the flower
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4284
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2373 on: March 01, 2014, 08:56:04 AM »
I'm not sure how this could be a scam but I feel like it is. Both DH and I have received calls on our cells from people saying, "You called my phone half an hour ago at 123-4567. Could you please call me back and let me know why you called?"

The numbers are in our area code and only a few digits off our numbers, which makes me doubt it's one of those 'call back and get routed to a Caribbean country and pay a fortune' things. Anyone know what it is?

(No, we didn't call back, since we knew we didn't call them.)

Well you can check your out calls list just to be sure.  Maybe you but dialed them or something.  I'd just ignore them.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





kherbert05

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10435
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2374 on: March 01, 2014, 09:40:17 AM »
So, my thief and scammer brother, about whom I have posted about in this thread before, is apparently getting out of jail soon. My other brother and his wife have sent out a family missive asking all of us to help him re-integrate. Essentially, brainstorm about how to help him find a job, a support group, and feel loved and accepted and keep him away from his darn problems so he doesn’t get another sentence.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to say “No way in E-hell.” Scam Brother was in a detention facility for a while during his teen years, when he got out we congregated to help him. He made choices that landed him in a jail for a while. When he got out, we gathered again. He then started stealing from people’s homes; my mother’s prescriptions, jewelry, expensive knick knacks. He put on a fake wedding (she was already married so they couldn't get a wedding license) and got a lot of gifts. His “wife” had a baby and I gave them a lot of baby stuff, figuring the baby shouldn't suffer. He abandoned the woman and child (who did prove to be his genetically), continued to cheat and steal…tried to mooch from me once for a substantial sum…and not only went away for theft and breaking parole but got an extra charge for terrorizing a witness, due to threatening my sister and her family when she testified against him.

Right now I have “I wish you the best in your endeavors, but we are unable to assist with the process at this time. Scam Brother is not allowed in or near my home or my children. If he approaches us he will be removed forcibly. Thank you.” My husband is in full support of this but I can just hear the “faaaamily” bugle call now.
I think what you have here is fine. One thing I would add. If your kids are in school, please notify the school not to allow scam brother access to your children - even if someone authorized is with him. To deny access to anyone not a parent/guardian all we need is a letter from the parents. 


We just had a scary incident at my school involving domestic violence. We didn't have the paper work needed to keep the person (parent) picking up the kids from leaving with them. Fortunately now the custodial parent has an RO, the kids weren't physically hurt and are getting counseling.  (Small town and I happen to know the abuser's family has sent a clear message they are supporting the victims and abuser needs to leave them alone and get help NOW)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

nayberry

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 829
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2375 on: March 01, 2014, 02:14:09 PM »
I've gotten several phone calls this week from "Microsoft Technical Department". For those who don't know, this scam involves people who claim to be from Microsoft or an affiliated company.  Viruses/corrupted files have been detected on your computer.  To fix the problem, you just have to follow instructions and type some simple commands into your computer.

I hang up as soon as the scammer introduces himself, so I only know about what comes next because I've read explanations on the Web. The scammer directs you to look at a certain file which is full of error messages.  These are all normal, minor errors, but the scammer claims that they are proof that Terrible Things will happen if you don't follow his instructions. Next, he has you download some software that will allow him to control your computer remotely.  Then he "fixes" your computer and badgers you into buying an expensive "software warranty".  Naturally he needs your credit card information for that.  The scariest part is that the scammer now has access to your computer.  He can introduce viruses, steal personal information, or delete all your files.

From what I've read, most of these scammers operate out of large call centers in India.  They use various techniques to conceal their phone numbers from Caller ID, and they target people in English-speaking countries: U.S., Canada, UK, and Australia.
http://www.microsoft.com/security/online-privacy/avoid-phone-scams.aspx

You are correct. I walked one through the process up to the point that they wanted me to download software and pay them money. It was fairly amusing. I ended the call, somewhat snarkily, pointing out that I had likely forgotten more about computers and software then they or their script actually knew. I've often wanted to ask these scammers how they felt about lying to people and conning them out of money.

i was bored one day and decided to talk to the person who called.  i asked how he'd feel if someone tried to steal his money and wasn't he ashamed? wouldn't his mother be uopset with him?  then when he started shouting i hung up, and he rang back!!  and started shouting again, so i told him to go far away and have coitus with himself ;)  he called back twice more and the only response he got when he started shouting was a hang up.  (when i told him to go *bleep* himself i was stood in the hall next to my dad and he started to get furious at me for being so rude, s when the callbacks came i answered on speaker (happened within 3 minutes), dad then apologised and said if it rang again he'd be having words with them)

haven't had a call for a while actually,  makes a change tbh. 

Where's the Quiet?

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 193
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2376 on: March 02, 2014, 07:53:34 PM »
Yay, I get to get in on the oil business!

Quote
Hey,

The Project is about the exportation of 100,000 barrels of Light Crude
Oil daily out from Iraq to Turkey through my client's company in Iraq at the rate of $92.00 a barrel. This amount to $9,200,000 daily.
I as for your support as a foreigner to handle this business project with my
client and you are not expected to invest in Iraq

If yes, let me know and we will discuss this project proper.

yung kyu kim


ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7808
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2377 on: March 02, 2014, 09:10:19 PM »
DH received an email telling him to download a verification document to make sure his wire transfer went through. Hmm.

Piratelvr1121

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 11159
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2378 on: March 02, 2014, 11:40:28 PM »
Last week we had a couple attend our second service and I found out after they'd started chatting with me that they'd attended the community cafe (free hot meal) our church does once a month.  Now most of the folks who attend this are either homeless, living in a shelter, or have a home and are just struggling and they rarely ask us for anything, money wise.  Only thing I've ever been asked for when helping out was help in finding a shelter, and one girl asking me for a quarter for the sanitary product dispenser.  I happened to have some products in my purse and just handed her one discreetly.

Anyway, this couple set off warning bells for me when they sat next to me on the pew in the hall (Or fellowship hall has old pews lining two sides of the room for people to just sit on) and the woman started getting way too friendly way too fast.  I mean, I'm an affectionate person myself but when someone I've never met gets very touchy, invading personal space and pushing themselves on me, I get a bit nervous, and she kept pushing for us to go shopping together.

Never asked me for money but when my youngest ran off for the snack table (bless him!) I found she'd asked others for money with a different story each time, or she'd ask for rides to various places.  It didn't take me long to realize that when she wanted me to go shopping and kept after me about it, it was a veiled request to take her somewhere.

Interestingly enough neither of them showed up this week and one woman told me that while they want to help folks, it can really be tricky figuring out where to draw the line with the helping without being hypocrites.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

MommyPenguin

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4492
    • My blog!
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2379 on: March 02, 2014, 11:44:23 PM »
Yeah, it can be really difficult.  I was at a Bible study that had an extensive prayer session a couple of years ago, and this one woman was talking about how she was in danger of being evicted and really needed help, and asked for prayers.  She wasn't directly asking for money, but I thought about possibly giving some.  I asked my husband what he thought, and he suggested talking to the pastor first.  So I did, and I was glad that I did.  It turns out that she had a habit of making poor monetary decisions and had been helped out by people in the church several times already, but she continued to use the money for other things and to constantly be in trouble.  So it was best to not help her that way, as it just enabled her to keep making poor choices.  So it sounded like the church initially gave her the benefit of the doubt, but kept an eye on how the money was being used and the choices that were being made with it, and, based on that, was no longer willing to help her in that way.

o_gal

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 598
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2380 on: March 03, 2014, 09:18:11 AM »
My mom was our church secretary for a number of years to help pay for college for me and my brother. She learned how to spot a scammer and taught me some of her tricks. And found out a few years ago that I'm not the only one who can spot them :-)

One night I was attending a lecture in the basement of one of the local churches. It was summer and the basement was a little warm, so they had an outside door propped open. A guy comes down into the church and interrupts us to ask if someone can give him money for a bus to get downtown for some reason. The pastor/lecturer says that he'd be glad to give him a ride in a few minutes - he'll just wrap up the lecture a little early and we'll move on to the discussion while he gives the guy a ride. Oh no, says scammer, I don't want to interrupt (note - you already have) and so if you could just give me the money, I'll catch my bus. Then someone else in the audience says that he'll give the guy a ride. Scammer starts to look a little panicked, keeps saying that he doesn't want to put anyone out. Then someone else says why don't we just give the guy some money?

As one voice, everyone else in the basement yells "NO!" and scammer slinks away.

Teenyweeny

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1664
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2381 on: March 03, 2014, 09:27:34 AM »
My mom was our church secretary for a number of years to help pay for college for me and my brother. She learned how to spot a scammer and taught me some of her tricks. And found out a few years ago that I'm not the only one who can spot them :-)

One night I was attending a lecture in the basement of one of the local churches. It was summer and the basement was a little warm, so they had an outside door propped open. A guy comes down into the church and interrupts us to ask if someone can give him money for a bus to get downtown for some reason. The pastor/lecturer says that he'd be glad to give him a ride in a few minutes - he'll just wrap up the lecture a little early and we'll move on to the discussion while he gives the guy a ride. Oh no, says scammer, I don't want to interrupt (note - you already have) and so if you could just give me the money, I'll catch my bus. Then someone else in the audience says that he'll give the guy a ride. Scammer starts to look a little panicked, keeps saying that he doesn't want to put anyone out. Then someone else says why don't we just give the guy some money?

As one voice, everyone else in the basement yells "NO!" and scammer slinks away.

That's always an effective method. A person who really needs food or transportation won't care if you give them those things without actual cash changing hands. I once saw a woman claiming that she had run away from an abusive boyfriend, and needed money. At the time I was absolutely flat broke myself (didn't even have a working mobile phone), so I couldn't help her. Now, I'd probably offer to wait with her while I called the police and/or women's shelters.



Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 14057
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2382 on: March 03, 2014, 10:08:23 AM »
I've said this before, here.

I've had a few people ask me for money to pay such and such bill.  And all but one of them have withdrawn the request when I said I'd be happy to pay the bill for them; let's go to the bank or utility or wherever the bill has to be paid.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

hermanne

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1629
  • Visualize whorled peas...
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2383 on: March 03, 2014, 11:09:09 AM »
^ My mom and I ended up doing the same with my sister, after we found out she was asking each of us for cash to pay the same bill twice. >:(

It was amazing how quick she stopped asking us.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2014, 11:10:48 AM by hermanne »
Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!




Tea Drinker

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1415
  • Now part of Team Land Crab
Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #2384 on: March 03, 2014, 03:05:40 PM »
I've said this before, here.

I've had a few people ask me for money to pay such and such bill.  And all but one of them have withdrawn the request when I said I'd be happy to pay the bill for them; let's go to the bank or utility or wherever the bill has to be paid.

The beauty of that is that if they actually do want the money for this bill, you're making it as easy as possible for them, and paying the bill quickly (whereas if you gave them a check, they'd have to deposit it and then pay the bill, and even if you gave them cash they would either need to go to the office themselves, send a check, or buy and send a money order). I figure that if a friend or relative needs that enough to ask for it, and I'm willing, it's likely to be close to the deadline before there would at best be surcharges for nonpayment (my own landlord charges extra if I don't pay by the third of the month), and at worst the risk of service being cut off or someone evicted.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.