Author Topic: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers  (Read 650615 times)

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Redneck Gravy

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3135 on: August 14, 2014, 04:11:06 PM »
Email subject:
Free Lasik evaluation- Schedule one now. 1 Weird Trick To Better S-x, Increased Energy, Sharper Focus

[I had not realized that ophthalmologists have made such incredible advances in their science. Surely worthy of a Nobel or at least an IgNobel.]

I just had lasik and I did not get these benefits either.  I am going to mention this at my next recheck !

I hope you at least got the sharper focus so not everything is blurry  ;) .

On the other hand, if you were experiencing the effects of better s-x and increased energy, you might not care so much about not being able to see well.   :)

Well, everybody knows that too much s-x makes you blind.  ;)

I figured I'd just do it until I needed glasses ;)

How much is too much?  And will I be able to stop "just" before I go blind?

Sirius

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3136 on: August 14, 2014, 05:28:29 PM »
Got this one yesterday.  It was a e-mail titled "Fax of requested information."

"We are attempting to fax information to you about your account.  Please click on the link."

I realize that my fax doesn't work, but I never request information to be faxed to me anyway.  That got deleted.



jedikaiti

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3137 on: August 14, 2014, 05:29:57 PM »
I won the Google Lotto!!

Email winner of 2014 GOOGLE LOTTO.
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Regards,
Dr. Larry Page.
Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer,
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What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

WolfWay

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3138 on: August 15, 2014, 12:47:04 AM »
Here's a brand-new one!
---------------------------------------------------------
Attn everyone;
 
 I was heartbroken that my boyfriend decided to leave the relationship, so I had the Retrieve A Lover spell cast. with Dr Oshimili Lantoh Within a week of the spell casting, he called “just to talk.” After some pleasant talks and catching up, he asked to see me again.
 
 I felt he had started to turn around. I decided to give him a chance just to see. now we are happily married and He is absolutely crazy about me, i thank Dr Oshimili Lantoh for bringing back my ex, if you need his help you can contact him via email: [redacted]
 
 He is specialized in all kind of spell castling such as:
 
 1. Getting your lover or husband back
 2. Spiritual bulletproof
 3. Training
 4. Money spell
 5. Long life spell
 6. Prosperity spell
 7. Protection spell
 8. Get a job spell
 9. Becoming a manager spell
 10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
 11. Getting your scam money back  (does that mean that if you pay him, you'll get that  money back?)
 12. Child spell
 13. Pregnancy spell
 14. Freedom spell
 15. Love spell
 16, vanishing spell
 17. Invisible human spell
 18. Success or pass spell
 19. Marriage spell
 20. Avenging spell
 21. Popularity spell
 22. Killing spell
 23. Cancer spell
 24. Supernatural power spell
 25. Madness spell
 26. Free house loan spell
 27. Production spell of films and movie
 28. Tuberculosis spell
 29. Loose weight and body spell
 gambling spell and lot more
 
 contact him now and your problem will be solved.
Sounds a lot like the leaflets and flyers I sometimes get handed at traffic lights here in Johannesburg advertising the services of sangomas (witchdoctors). They offer to treat "diseases" like HIV, pregnancy and lost husbands. (Who knew lost husbands were a disease). I really must track down the photos of them I've got. They're hilarious.

Ah wait, just do a google image search for "sangoma advert flyers". Pure comedy gold.

I've been handed this one once:


side note: from what little I know of Zulu the descriptions for numbers 1 through 19 on the left don't match up with the descriptions for numbers 1 through 15 on the right.

2 on the left is "getting work".
5 is about "expanding your rod"
17 on the left is "good luck at a casino or lottery".
« Last Edit: August 15, 2014, 01:01:15 AM by WolfWay »
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

Redneck Gravy

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3139 on: August 15, 2014, 02:05:48 PM »
 :o   Picking myself up off the floor from laughing 

So #1 on the right, isn't that when Viagra says to seek medical attention ?

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3140 on: August 15, 2014, 02:20:42 PM »
Regarding Number 8 on the right, why in the world would I want that?   ???

Slartibartfast

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3141 on: August 15, 2014, 03:29:41 PM »
Regarding Number 8 on the right, why in the world would I want that?   ???

I missed the actual number for #8, so read #7 as "Men/women who can't produce long periods."  And figured that - at least for cis men - there ain't no witch doctory that can change that  :P

Redneck Gravy

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3142 on: August 15, 2014, 05:11:09 PM »
Regarding Number 8 on the right, why in the world would I want that?   ???

Isn't that the truth sister?





WolfWay

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3143 on: August 16, 2014, 05:02:05 AM »
Regarding Number 8 on the right, why in the world would I want that?   ???
Maybe it's an offer to treat it?
It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger - from a distance, preferably separated by bars . -- Pearls Before Swine (16-May-2009)

Bellantara

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3144 on: August 16, 2014, 07:21:19 PM »
This just showed up in my inbox:

Greeting to you Holgersson  ,
 
Greeting to you,I contacted you in this matter knowing that you bear
the same last surname with my late client.I am Barr.James
MichaelUkandu,from-Togo West Africa and I want you to know that its
destiny that brought us together in this pending transaction,My late
client Engr. Stephen M Holgersson  ,died with his wife and their only
daughter in a car accident,on 13 of may 2010 without no one to claim
his fund deposited of (€ 1.36100 Euro)deposited in the bank. I have a
mandate to present the bank my late client next of kin to the
relative, since You have the same last name with him, so that this
Consignment could be released to you as wished. contact me through via
email for more details and  Explanation
 
Thanks and have a pleasant day. Reply to my private email
(barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )
 
Yours
sincerely
Barr  James Michael Ukandu ((Esq.)
Principal Attorney of
Dominion Associates
Chambers Barristers & Solicitors
Public Notary Lome-TOGO West Africa
BTD/SORT-CD-00247901
waiting for your urgent respond quickly Thanks.
Reply to my private email ( barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )

Couple of things: My name isn't Holgersson. Holgersson is the name of the FICTIONAL character I role play on Twitter.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3145 on: August 17, 2014, 11:26:33 AM »
This just showed up in my inbox:

Greeting to you Holgersson  ,
 
Greeting to you,I contacted you in this matter knowing that you bear
the same last surname with my late client.I am Barr.James
MichaelUkandu,from-Togo West Africa and I want you to know that its
destiny that brought us together in this pending transaction,My late
client Engr. Stephen M Holgersson  ,died with his wife and their only
daughter in a car accident,on 13 of may 2010 without no one to claim
his fund deposited of (€ 1.36100 Euro)deposited in the bank. I have a
mandate to present the bank my late client next of kin to the
relative, since You have the same last name with him, so that this
Consignment could be released to you as wished. contact me through via
email for more details and  Explanation
 
Thanks and have a pleasant day. Reply to my private email
(barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )
 
Yours
sincerely
Barr  James Michael Ukandu ((Esq.)
Principal Attorney of
Dominion Associates
Chambers Barristers & Solicitors
Public Notary Lome-TOGO West Africa
BTD/SORT-CD-00247901
waiting for your urgent respond quickly Thanks.
Reply to my private email ( barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )

Couple of things: My name isn't Holgersson. Holgersson is the name of the FICTIONAL character I role play on Twitter.

Oh, now that is just fantastic! Bwahahahahahaha!

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3146 on: August 17, 2014, 07:52:09 PM »
My DH and DS have an odd experience at a gas station. They were fueling up, a man came up and criticized a Bible verse we have on one window of our vehicle, that it was missing a word. Strange, but whatever.

Then he starts his whole life insurance spiel. Needless to say, we don't purchase insurance from people at gas stations.

Margo

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3147 on: August 18, 2014, 05:19:06 AM »
This just showed up in my inbox:

Greeting to you Holgersson  ,
 
Greeting to you,I contacted you in this matter knowing that you bear
the same last surname with my late client.I am Barr.James
MichaelUkandu,from-Togo West Africa and I want you to know that its
destiny that brought us together in this pending transaction,My late
client Engr. Stephen M Holgersson  ,died with his wife and their only
daughter in a car accident,on 13 of may 2010 without no one to claim
his fund deposited of (€ 1.36100 Euro)deposited in the bank. I have a
mandate to present the bank my late client next of kin to the
relative, since You have the same last name with him, so that this
Consignment could be released to you as wished. contact me through via
email for more details and  Explanation
 
Thanks and have a pleasant day. Reply to my private email
(barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )
 
Yours
sincerely
Barr  James Michael Ukandu ((Esq.)
Principal Attorney of
Dominion Associates
Chambers Barristers & Solicitors
Public Notary Lome-TOGO West Africa
BTD/SORT-CD-00247901
waiting for your urgent respond quickly Thanks.
Reply to my private email ( barrjamesmichael@gmail.com )

Couple of things: My name isn't Holgersson. Holgersson is the name of the FICTIONAL character I role play on Twitter.

and anyway, it seems an awful lot of trouble to go to for 1.3 Euros.  If it were 1.3 million euros, of course, that would be different...

whatsanenigma

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3148 on: August 18, 2014, 08:43:24 AM »
My DH and DS have an odd experience at a gas station. They were fueling up, a man came up and criticized a Bible verse we have on one window of our vehicle, that it was missing a word. Strange, but whatever.

Then he starts his whole life insurance spiel. Needless to say, we don't purchase insurance from people at gas stations.

And even if you were so inclined as to buy insurance from someone at a gas station, being criticized for what is on your car would surely put you off.  Complimenting you on it or admiring it or otherwise using it to engage you in conversation might be one thing, but saying something negative like that (even if he intended to be helpful) isn't a very good sales technique!

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers
« Reply #3149 on: August 18, 2014, 09:34:23 AM »
^Exactly my thought. Starting your interaction with criticism is unlikely to win you sales. I also don't buy meat from people in the parking lot at gas stations, but you would be surprised how many people do.