S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers

[mechtilde]

I had a similar one a few weeks ago- a fairly well dressed man came up to me (just that liiitle bit too close though, which set my alarms off anyway) and asked if I could help him. I thought he might want directions or something so I asked how. He then started the sob story about how he didn't have any money left for his fare to Nearbytown, and everyone else he'd asked had turned him down etc etc.

I walked off.

[Miss Misery]

This mate started chatting on a scrabble site with a young woman in a foreign country who gave him a story about being an orphaned American citizen, living on the generosity and sufferance of relatives in that country and wanted to come back to the US. Work mate sent her a large sum of money to cover airfare to the US. They had planned to start a life together. She never made it.

She contacted him again with the story that she had been arrested and was being held on trumped up charges. Mate sent money because he knew that this poor girl was a decent person (or talked a great game of scrabble). He didn’t hear from her for a while, DH said mate was somewhat despondent over her plight.

Her next contact with him involved her being in an accident, had no insurance and needed bones set at a hospital; again money was sent.

All this was unknown to DH until the last remittance was sent, when the work mate confided what had been going on as far as the loss of several thousand dollars and now the young woman won’t talk to him.

My older sister, being the gullible fool she is, has fallen for that scam. TWICE.

Now it's THREE. Now she has no phone, no job, and no money. 

[NyaChan]

Oh dear    Have you considered asking her what it was about those people that made her want trust them or want to help?  Maybe even offer to check things over for her in the future before she helps someone?  I find that if you flat out tell someone that no you shouldn't help other people, they'll fight against it because it seems uncharitable, or mean.  If you accept that she likes to give, but emphasize that you want to make sure the right people get the help, maybe she'll be more receptive.

[Sirius]

Many, many years before he met me, Mr. Sirius ran into one of these - someone who always needs money for this or that.  Finally, after she'd cleaned him out, he broke it off and transferred to another base to get away from her...so she called my then-future MIL with a sad story about needing money for health care. 

Not only did MIL not fall for it, she told this person point blank that if she ever called her again she (MIL) would press charges against Person for trying to scam them.  Person got the hint that MIL was not to be messed with, and neither MIL or Mr. Sirius ever heard from her again. 

My MIL is 4"9" or so, and a lovely person - and absolutely not to be messed with.

[Miss Misery]

Oh dear    Have you considered asking her what it was about those people that made her want trust them or want to help?

Two words: flaming codependent.

  Maybe even offer to check things over for her in the future before she helps someone?  I find that if you flat out tell someone that no you shouldn't help other people, they'll fight against it because it seems uncharitable, or mean.

That's exactly what she does. Apparently our dad told her she was being played and she didn't listen.

  If you accept that she likes to give, but emphasize that you want to make sure the right people get the help, maybe she'll be more receptive.

There's no helping someone who doesn't want to be helped and won't learn from her mistakes, and I'm not getting involved (since I live 400 miles away there's only so much I could do even if I wanted to). She's already wrecked her job,  her credit, and her life. I'm not going let her wreck mine.

[VorFemme]

I ran into a group like this at a rest area on the interstate a few years ago.  Luckily for me, I had no cash in the car.  They had children with them - I did have spare diapers, some fresh fruit, half a loaf of bread, and a few other edibles in the car - so I gave them the food so the kids could eat.  I got a "thank you" but was very clear that I had NO CASH on me or in the car with me, so they knew that asking for cash miles from an ATM was unlikely to get them anything but the food for the kids.

I did have credit cards with me, so I replaced the snack items at the next stop when my kid(s) were hungry!

[Pippen]

This mate started chatting on a scrabble site with a young woman in a foreign country who gave him a story about being an orphaned American citizen, living on the generosity and sufferance of relatives in that country and wanted to come back to the US. Work mate sent her a large sum of money to cover airfare to the US. They had planned to start a life together. She never made it.

She contacted him again with the story that she had been arrested and was being held on trumped up charges. Mate sent money because he knew that this poor girl was a decent person (or talked a great game of scrabble). He didn’t hear from her for a while, DH said mate was somewhat despondent over her plight.

Her next contact with him involved her being in an accident, had no insurance and needed bones set at a hospital; again money was sent.

All this was unknown to DH until the last remittance was sent, when the work mate confided what had been going on as far as the loss of several thousand dollars and now the young woman won’t talk to him.

My older sister, being the gullible fool she is, has fallen for that scam. TWICE.

Now it's THREE. Now she has no phone, no job, and no money. 

That is so sad but not that unusual. The easiest people to scam are those how have been scammed before. The triumph of hope over experience.

[2littlemonkeys]

Speaking of well dressed strangers...

One night, I was home alone when the doorbell rang.  I looked out the door window to see who it was and found someone I'd never before seen.  He kept asking me to open the door, but it was a large window and I could see/hear him just fine.  (also, really?   )

He spun this sob story about how he'd been locked out of his car and he needed to call his wife so she could come help him and could he please come in and use the phone? 

I was not about to let this guy in under any circumstances, so I offered to make the call for him.  He got very offended and demanded I let him in to make the call.  I don't remember the exact dialogue but I do remember him saying something like, "You don't trust me?"  Well, no.

I kept saying that I wasn't going to let him in but I would be happy to make the call for him. He just kept getting madder so I finally said that he needed to leave or I was going to call the cops.  He left then and I called the non-emergency line to let them know about it anyway.  He really freaked me out.

I was speaking to a neighbor a few days later and apparently she had a gentleman who fit the same description try the same thing with her the day before.  I'm glad I called the police, he was clearly up to no good.  And I'm very glad I had a 3" thick oak door between us.

[Piratelvr1121]

BG:  We bought our house almost 3 years ago, and the woman who had lived here was an elderly lady who had unfortunately fallen down the steps and hurt herself, so her family decided it was time to move her up closer to them.   Now, because our town, while not very small, is smallish, people who lived around here knew about her and someone told me that her grandchildren lived with her, supposedly to look after her but it was the opinion of the person who told me this that they didn't do such a hot job of it.

Okay, so, we closed on New Years Eve, and then a few weeks later this guy around mine and dh's age (early 30's) came to the door to say "My grandmother lived here, and I thought you ought to know that there's a lien on the house and it shouldn't have sold, and my grandma wouldn't have wanted me to tell you this.  And I'm not trying to talk you into giving the house up, but just thought you ought to know you could get this house for free if you called the title office about it!  But don't tell your realtor about it, okay?"

His story sounded awfully fishy and I found out from a friend who'd worked for a lawyer for a while that if there was a federal lien on the house, they would have done a search at the title office and we wouldn't have been able to close on the house till it was taken care of.  And we did tell our realtor, who said to be wary of this guy.  Who also claimed he would return with papers to prove his statement, but he never returned.

Methinks he was sore that grandma didn't pass the house onto him and thought he could somehow get us into trouble so we'd lose the house and he could have it.

[Moralia]

My DH fell for a charity magazine sales scam and paid $75 for subscriptions that never arrived. I told him I didn't think it was a legit thing but he didn't listen. I've kindly refrained from pointing out the lack of magazines.

I never buy anything door-to-door other than from neighborhood kids I recognize.  Adults get my best stink eye which, I've been told, coveys the impression I'm compiling a description for the police.

[Pippen]

Speaking of well dressed strangers...

One night, I was home alone when the doorbell rang.  I looked out the door window to see who it was and found someone I'd never before seen.  He kept asking me to open the door, but it was a large window and I could see/hear him just fine.  (also, really?   )

He spun this sob story about how he'd been locked out of his car and he needed to call his wife so she could come help him and could he please come in and use the phone? 

I was not about to let this guy in under any circumstances, so I offered to make the call for him.  He got very offended and demanded I let him in to make the call.  I don't remember the exact dialogue but I do remember him saying something like, "You don't trust me?"  Well, no.

I kept saying that I wasn't going to let him in but I would be happy to make the call for him. He just kept getting madder so I finally said that he needed to leave or I was going to call the cops.  He left then and I called the non-emergency line to let them know about it anyway.  He really freaked me out.

I was speaking to a neighbor a few days later and apparently she had a gentleman who fit the same description try the same thing with her the day before.  I'm glad I called the police, he was clearly up to no good.  And I'm very glad I had a 3" thick oak door between us.

Freaked out. I'll say! How demands to be let into someone else's house?

I had a similar situation but I did actually know the guy. My best friend and I were watching TV one Sunday night and there was a knock at the door so I got up and answered it. It was Bobby the gardener the landlord (who lived next door) had hired to do both our gardens. I asked him what he wanted and he told me he was moving in with me. As in "I'm in love with you" moving in. He even had his bags with him. I was mortified and told him that was not going to happen but he tried to come inside anyway. My friend came out from the lounge to see what was going on and threw him out the door and slammed it behind him. He then stood on the doorstep for a good half hour shouting through the mail slot that I didn't understand and his exact words were "I'm not a rapist!. I'm not a rapist!" Really? He was sure doing a fine impression of one. Then he started writing notes and pushing them them the slot. It was utterly bizarre and in the end quite funny after I had got over the initial shock. I told the landlord the next day and he got fired. I am a freak magnet.

[BarensMom]

I was the strange person at the door one night.

I had attended a play at my high school and, when it ended at 10 p.m., I found all the pay phones were out of order.  Since home was 6 blocks away, I decided to walk.  A car started tailing me and, in spite of my trying to fake it out several times, I couldn't dodge it.  After it blocked my path across drive-in dairy and the church parking lot, I ran to the nearest house and rang the doorbell like mad.  The elderly couple were freaked out and refused to open the door.  I told them I lived on the next block and to please call my home #.  My mom and sister came and the woman recognized Mom from the grocery store.  When I told Mom why I didn't call from the school, she called the principal the next day.  The school replaced every pay phone in the place by the end of the week.

[buvezdevin]

I was also the stranger at the door, in the wee hours, once.

When I went to college and was living on my own for the first time, I woke in the middle of the night when someone broke into my apartment.  I was able to get out the front door and crept up the outdoor stairs to my upstairs neighbor, who I had not met.  I rang their doorbell repeatedly, and whispered (pretty frantically, I am sure) the situation through the door - I wasn't sure if the intruder was following me or not.

It turned out to be a couple who lived above me, let me in and called the police.

I completely agree with others about not letting in a stranger in 99.9999999% of the time, though having been in a truly desperate situation once, I am *forever* grateful to that couple for recognizing the urgent and real nature of my need.

[Amara]

I was undecided whether to put this here or in the Freecycle/CraigsList thread. It would fit either one. An ad in the "Housing Wanted" section showed up this morning. This is so weird because if it were my mother I would move heaven and earth to get her back home including driving up there and getting her. She might have to wait at the restaurant for about five hours but by god she'd be taken care of. This is such an obvious scam it's hard to believe anyone could fall for it. And I hope no one does. (The area code is for central Texas too.) Is it me or are some criminals just really, really stupid?
 

Presently living in San Diego but have lived in Santa Barbara for the past 10 years. Lost my purse at the restroom under Brophy's and do not have the funds to get home and live for the next three weeks. If anyone needs pet sitting or would like to have a roommate to help clean and cook for a few weeks, it would greatly be appreciated.

I do not use drugs, alcohol or smoke. Middle aged professional female who is honest, clean and personable. I am completely criminal free, bonded and have three children who are in college and cannot assist me due to their financial obligations. I also have a medical background and could assist a senior citizen with cooking, light cleaning, driving, etc., as long as I do not have to lift.

Anyone who could help or assist, please, call me at (512) xxx-xxxx.

[pierrotlunaire0]

A friend told me about something that happened to a mutual acquaintance last week.  He had made reservations at a very nice, upscale restaurant in the downtown area. 

After dinner, they went back out to their car in the adjacent (non-metered) lot, and found a parking ticket.  So they go back inside to ask the restaurant staff why they got a ticket after having paid $10 to park in the restaurant's lot.

"Our lot?  We don't have a lot."  Customers are supposed to pay metered parking on the street.  The lot attendant who pocketed the $10?  Some guy off the street who had camped out in the closed lot, collecting cash from unsuspecting people.  The phony attendant probably left once the police showed up to write tickets.