S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers

[Mel the Redcap]

I got a couple of spam mails that were so awesome that I've saved them in my Junk folder instead of deleting them with everything else.

The first one:
"WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD"
with an attached text file called "FBI final warning". Apparently the FBI use AOL for their e-mail, too.

The second:
It's a fairly standard Nigerian phishing e-mail... except that it's from Dr. Henry Salami. That still makes me grin when I see it. 

[Amara]

WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD"

I don't know if I could resist emailing them back just to see where they go with this. 

[Twik]

I think this scam works by having you open the attachment, which comes helpfully loaded with a Trojan allowing them to control your computer.

[Harriet Jones]

I can't remember if I mentioned it here or not, but I got one of those "I've been hired to kill you, but I won't if you send me even more money" emails.  I knew it was fake, but it was still creepy.

[nutraxfornerves]

The FBI one is a straight Nigerian scam. You can see the various forms the attachment takes here

The head of the FBI writes in remarkably poor English for someone with a law degree, who was an officer in the Marine Corps and worked in the legal field for many years before taking over the FBI.

[Amara]

You need to do every possible thing today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the sum of $10,500,000.00 only.


Robert S. Mueller
FBI DIRECTOR

How funny. You'd think they would at least try to get their story straight. It might even catch them a few more victims. Seriously, thank god they are so totally and completely inept. It does help those who might otherwise fall for the scams.

[PeterM]

I think this scam works by having you open the attachment, which comes helpfully loaded with a Trojan allowing them to control your computer.

If you really want to give a look, though, try using the computers at your library or maybe a Kinko's or such. Our library internet computers are specifically set up to scrub the bejesus out of everything in between uses, so there's no way a virus is going to take hold. I'd be amazed if Kinko's or similar places didn't do the same.

Doesn't mean the library computers don't get viruses, of course, but they have to get there via staff or network machines, which aren't nearly as well protected.

[KB]

If anyone wants a bit of entertainment in the form of scams, I suggest you try reading Greetings in Jesus' Name!: The Scambaiter Letters, which is a series of letters in which the author gets one over on scammers. Very funny (although quite crude in a lot of sections as well).

[Twik]

You need to do every possible thing today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account which is valued at the sum of $10,500,000.00 only.


Robert S. Mueller
FBI DIRECTOR

How funny. You'd think they would at least try to get their story straight. It might even catch them a few more victims. Seriously, thank god they are so totally and completely inept. It does help those who might otherwise fall for the scams.

I'm surprised that someone, somewhere, went to the trouble of actually looking up who is head of the FBI. However, I suspect that e-mails in his name will be circulating long after Mr. Mueller has moved on.

[nutraxfornerves]

The Lads (as one bating site calls them) often use names that are in the news. When General Petraeus became head of the CIA, "he" convinced a woman in Taiwan that he was going to marry her. She wired him a bunch of money & he repaid her with travelers checks. She was arrested after the checks turned out to be forgeries. She still refused to believe it was a scam.

But despite the authorities and media telling the engineer that she was part of a scam, she refused to believe it and still insists that the love between her and the CIA boss is real.

'How could a scamming group have so much resources at its disposal?” she asked, adding that the man who claimed to be Petraeus was deliberately misleading the media into believing he was a scammer to keep cross-strait issues calm and 'protect their love', according to the Taipei Times.

I expect that any minute now, the deposed president of Egypt (or his wife, son, cousin, lawyer...) will be looking for help transferring money or gold out of the country. 

I wasn't aware of this version before Bogus invitation to a conference. Looks like they collect registration fees, donations and/or fees for helping "participants" get a visa.

[squeakers]

We got visited today by the "educational" books scammers.  Basically what is posted on this site and in the comment section: http://somedayallthis.wordpress.com/2010/07/05/the-southwestern-company-door-to-door-deception/

My youngest boy was interested in the science book but when told it was $110 he went O.o "I can google that stuff for free."

I thanked her for her time and sent her on her way.

[Carotte]

I usually do a quick scan of my spam folder before deleting everything (in case there was a redirected 'good' email), this time there was a bunch of 'Itunes' mail, not sure what they would have tried to tell me*, but one was titled as: "***SPAM*** Itunes blahblahblah".
Since Gmail never put that "***SPAM***" bit into any mail it flags as spam the only explanation is that it's part of the original headline... 

* never had, never will have an Itunes account.

[Twik]

Got a threaty one today, supposedly from Homeland Security:

This is to remind you that if you fail to reply this email within 48hours we assume that you are terrorist and we shall track you down and your consignments would be confiscated.

It also mentions that my "consignments" include my "rightful inheritance". I guess this is a combined carrot/stick approach.

Surprisingly, the Department of Homeland Security uses a ".jp" address, rather than a ".gov" one. Outsourcing, I guess? 

[Slartibartfast]

Got a threaty one today, supposedly from Homeland Security:

This is to remind you that if you fail to reply this email within 48hours we assume that you are terrorist and we shall track you down and your consignments would be confiscated.

It also mentions that my "consignments" include my "rightful inheritance". I guess this is a combined carrot/stick approach.

Surprisingly, the Department of Homeland Security uses a ".jp" address, rather than a ".gov" one. Outsourcing, I guess? 

Nah, it stands for "justice of the peace."  It's so you know they're consulting a real lawyer 

[Twik]

I feel very sorry for immigrants with not a lot of English or understanding of how the US government works who receive a message like this. For the naïve, this could be terrifying.