S/O Beggars, Moochers and Scammers

[BarensMom]

Yesterday we received an email from Lawyer Neil Christiansen stating that Engr, Robert Adler had mentioned us in his will.  Neither of us never heard of the man, so delete. 

[lilfox]

This one's a little different, although still vastly amusing:

Hi,
I am Mr.[redacted] , Head of Luggage/Baggage storage facilities here at the Hartsfield-Jackson A t l
a n t a I n t er n a t i o n a l Airport U S A.

I am contacting you regarding to an abandoned consignment boxes in our storage facility and which the custom scan report of the boxes revealed an undisclosed sum of US dollar bill in it which could be approximately 3-4M dollars and the details of the consignment including your name are tagged on the Two Metal Trunk boxes.

The consignment boxes were abandoned here by a Diplomat from UK due to his inability to pay the required fee $2,300 for the Non-Inspection Fee which i am ready to pay it But I will require you give me 30% of the Fund once i deliever it and you take 70% before we proceed, Get Back if you are ready .

Mr.[redacted]
INSPECTION OFFICER

At least this one is a clear-cut offer of "I am a crook, and I hope you are too".

Soooo, the boxes contain $X mil in cash but the owner of the boxes somehow couldn't come up with $2300?  Logic fail.  Should have gone with $X mil worth of diamonds/bonds/other non-cash valuables that Scammer would have happily converted to cash for your 70% cut.

[Elfmama]

Here's one from "United Nations Compensation Commission Unit"

Hello,Friend

We wish to congratulate and inform you that after thorough review of all unclaimed funds, contract, inheritance or lottery
 funds, your payment file has finally been forwarded to us for review and immediate payment of your long delayed funds
 starting with a first compensation transfer of US$2,500,000.00 to your bank account in your country.
 
 The Audit reports show that you have been going through hard times by paying a lot of money to dubious officials for the
 release of your funds.
 We therefore advice that you stop further communication with any correspondence outside this office because you  receive your
 funds True us only from united nations.

Well, if you can't trust the united nations, who can you trust? 

[Twik]

I wonder what a Non-Inspection Fee is? A remittance for doing a non-inspection? Or simply a bribe not to inspect dubious cargo?

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

This story probably belongs in a thread titled “What was I thinking?”  It happened a long time ago, and I’m still puzzled by it.

Boyfriend and I were about to enter our apartment building, which was next to a bus stop.  The weather was frightful, and it was starting to snow heavily.  We were approached by a young couple who seemed fairly normal, albeit miserable.  They said that the buses had stopped running, and could they come in and use our phone (before cell phones) to call a friend to pick them up.  We agreed.

Once inside, the couple started making phone calls, but they were just chatting away and didn’t actually ask anyone to come get them.  They asked for refreshments and bummed cigarettes.  They seemed to be having a good time and showed no signs of planning to leave.  Eventually the guy mentioned that he’d just gotten out of jail after serving time for “busting open the change machine at RoboWash”. 

At that point, we started strongly urging them to leave, and they did so pleasantly.

It was just weird.

[HoneyBee42]

I'm about 99.44% sure that I had a scammer come to my door yesterday.  The only reason I have that sliver of doubt is that I wasn't home (still at work) and it was relayed to me by my 12yo twins.

Seems a fellow came to the door stating that he was from [local utility company] and he really needed to talk to me about the fact that the bill hadn't been paid.  Unsurprisingly, he didn't return at the time the kids suggested that he return.

Seriously, I know the way this works--if you were *actually* behind, first you get the bill with the "past due" stamped on it.  Then some nasty-grams.  They don't send anyone to the house unless they are ready to actually disconnect the services, but they'd have sent several notices before that happens.  Given that the last bill arrived middle of last month w/o any such markers, I know I'm not behind.  I'd really know for sure he was a scammer if he said that I needed to pay up w/ cash.

Unfortunately, the 12yos were not observant enough to get a good enough description to call the police with.  However, on further questioning, I learned that there was not a [local utility company] vehicle in front of the house when this guy was at the door.

Have to admit I am a little disappointed that he didn't come back.  I was all set to talk to him while the older teen would be calling the police so that they'd be able to come by while the guy was still at my door.

Of course, I have since explained to my kids the markers that identify a legit employee of [local utility company], and that if there's a next time, to get a little more identifying info and to get the cops called.

[gramma dishes]

...   Of course, I have since explained to my kids the markers that identify a legit employee of [local utility company], and that if there's a next time, to get a little more identifying info and to get the cops called.

Or better yet, don't open the door!

[Minmom3]

Having been IN the house one day when the company DID come to turn it off - they walked right up to the breaker box outside and 'CLUNK' and my power was OFF.  There was a van outside, but no door knock, no personal contact at all until I raced out the back door to find out what the heck happened.

What the heck happened was DH cut it a tad close when it came to paying the bill late....  Seriously annoying habit of his.   

[norrina]

A wealthy widow wants to give me 10% of the $5.5mm her dear late husband left her, just for distributing the other 90% to charity. She found me  through "[her] husband internet dater," whatever that is. I need to figure ou how to capitalize on this "husband Internet dater" thing!

[RegionMom]

Ok, THIS showed up on my Google calendar.  I do not play the lottery, do not live in the country mentioned.  I am ignoring it, but should I report it??!?



Calendar   
klissandre.908@gmail.com
Description   
Lotto Max Lottery
http://www.lottomax.com/

!!!!! WINNING NOTIFICATION!!!!!
Dear Lucky Winner,
On the milestone of our 21st anniversary, we're celebrating the most important part of Lotto Max lottery. We are happy to notify you of the computer email balloting system drawn in our online bonanza from the prestigious LOTTO MAX ANNIVERSARY EMAIL DRAWN PROMOTION, 2013.

Your email is one of the Lucky winners of the sum of €850,000.00 (Eight hundred and fifty thousand Euro) held in London, UK. 21st of May 2013, This is to let you know that this online world e-mail draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000 company e-mail addresses about 30,000 individual e-mail addresses from over 40 networks and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer selection from the web. We are delighted to inform you that your e-mail addresses with your on-line
**********************************************************
1. WINNING TICKET NUMBER; LMXD/2013-123/12345
2. BATCH NUMBER: xx-1234/1234567
********************************************************

These are your winning details which won you this lottery in the 2nd category, from the Lotto Max lottery incorporated program.
Lotto Max lottery is fully based on an electronic selection of winners using their e-mail addresses , you are therefore been approved to claim a total sum of (€850,000.00) credited To the above Batch Number and Ticket Number which payment falls under our Africa Regional Payment Centre

To proceed for your winning, you are to contact Lotto Max Africa Regional Claiming Centre, so as to clarity you on how to receive you’re winning Prize.

*** Lotto Max Regional payment head office centre
**** Email: claimers.center@sify.com

Dr. Kliss Andre,
On-line Ticket coordinator
Lotto Max Lottery

[SlitherHiss]

Who would you even report it to? 

[PastryGoddess]

How did it get into Google calendar

[Miss Misery]

I get so many e-mails from nice gazillionaire Nigerians who want l'il ole me to help them *cough* invest *cough* their money.

ATTN:Dear Friend,
 
I humbly wish to seek your assistance in a matter that is very important and needs utmost trust and confidence. I am {Names}, a business consultant and close confidant of one of Nigeria's most powerful family.
 
The wife of top human right activist and former Attorney general who served in the past government in Nigeria wishes to move out of Nigeria the sum of US$15.7million. She wishes to invest the aforementioned sum in viable investment oversea.
 
For obvious reasons, my client does not wish to place this fund with established financial institution in the family's name for security reason.It is her desire that the deal is handled as quietly as possible without possibility of any leakage to the public or Government as they
have suffered a great loss in the past.
 
She has therefore empowered and instructed me to look for a reliable foreigner to clear/claim the money from where it is presently and receive the money in his or her account oversea, Also assist to invest the fund properly for the family as there fund manager.
 
If you agree to clear/claim the money and also act as a fund manager for my client and her family, I shall arrange to release the sum of US$15.7Million to you if you meet my requirement and upon a favourable response from you, i shall let you know how you will receive it.
Your commission shall be 20% of the total sum.
 
 An annual 10% of the after tax returns on investment for the first five years. Therefore, the terms shall be varied.If you are capable and willing to participate in this transaction, kindly reach me as soon as possible You are required to also send your full names,address, direct phone and fax number for more efficient communication.
 
In any case,please keep it a tight secret.
 
I await your prompt reply.
 
 
Best Regards,
 
Mr.{Name}

Bolding mine.

Whoops, the secret is out now.     Guess I lost that investment.

[jedikaiti]

How did it get into Google calendar

Yea, I would post to Google help forums.

[wolfie]

Who would you even report it to? 

The FBI.

http://www.ic3.gov/complaint/default.aspx

I went to a presentation by then - yes they want to to file with them. For most of these crimes they need many instances to make a case so every person who reports is one step closer to them being able to stop them.