How would you feel about this Christmas surprise? Update #113

[Zilla]

I think if plans were made, Adelaide would know about them since she too is flying in.  And plus no one would begrudge them cancelling them to spend time with their own son that is on leave.


I love the idea of the surprise and it will probably be one of the "best" gift you can give you parents.  It will most certainly make it memorable and something to talk about for years to come.   Especially if you can get it on your phone video!

[Amava]

Personally, I would rather be able to prepare myself mentally if I was going to see my son again after a long time.

I may be weird, but I don't like being emotionally overwhelmed.

I would still be glad to see him, of course, but I would get more out of it if I could first get used to the idea in private, then spend a few weeks in happy expectation, living towards the moment.

[o_gal]

1) I am not sure how well my parents would react to my going to "Starbucks" and returning with their son.

To start with, I think you should do it. As you said, there's no reason to believe that anyone will keel over with a heart attack. And all of those surprise returns that they show on the news look like so much fun.

However, in order to pull this off, I think you need a better plan than "going to Starbucks". If you get caught up in preparation or anything else that afternoon, it might seem odd and rude to the other people there that all of a sudden you and you alone need to make a coffee run. Try to "schedule" something (like going to see an old friend in town) that will take you alone out of the house for the amount of time you will need to get to the airport and back. Then it will seem natural that you have to leave. And be prepared for the possibility of getting stuck at the airport if his flight is delayed. What you need to claim to be doing needs to have that built in. Otherwise you could have other people sitting around, waiting for you to return in order to continue the planned festivities.

[Hmmmmm]

As a mom, if it was truly last minute, like a schedule was changed within a few days of Christmas, I'd love the suprise. 

However, if it was months in advance, then I'd probably want that time to enjoy the anticipation and maybe plan for something special for the visiting child.

But you two know your parents so go with your gut feel. 

[TootsNYC]

I confess to a personal bias against these sorts of things.

I'm not going to be popular--peopel are going to jump all over me.

I think the surprise makes it all about the surpriser, and not at all about the surprisee. It's essentially selfish.

I also think it robs the surprisee of ANTICIPATION!
And personally, I really like anticipation. I like being able to say all week long, "my new boyfriend is taking me to the zoo!"
(My boyfriend was really into the surprise, and I had to break him of it, because it made MY life much less rich. If he hadn't understood my objections, I probably wouldn't have married him. He still likes surprising me, but he doesn't do it as often, because I object to missing out on all the "looking forward to it.")

(that's why I think these sorts of surprises are essentially a selfish act--HE gets the anticipation, but THEY don't)

Think how many more hours your family will have that are full of joy because they are looking forward to the arrival of their child. It won't diminish the excitement of seeing him for the first time. In my case, it would probably heighten it.

Even knowing that he might be able to come, and he's trying, would provide a level of joy (and confirmation of his love), even if it all fell through.

So I vote no, for those reasons.


And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

[sourwolf]

Toots, I don't think anyone is going to "jump all over you" after all your opinion is just that, your opinion.

However one of the reasons I said it would be a better idea to leave it as a surprise is that with the military you never know what is going to happen.  I think it would be much worse to be anticipating your son coming home and at the last minute it not happen for whatever reason.

[Moray]

*snip*
And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

To be frank, who the heck cares if it's cliché or not? That doesn't make it any less emotional for the people involved.

I can absolutely understand that some people hate surprises, and prefer to plan and anticipate things, but the general reaction is still "Thank diety you're safe; I'm so glad you're home!!!". If, imagining yourself in the scenario, the only reaction you can muster is mild annoyance that you didn't get a chance to anticipate his return, that's a bit odd.

[Zilla]

I was okay with the whole post as you are completely entitled to your opinion.  But wow what a way to diss everyone in the thread stating it's such a cliche after several expressed positive comments about it.

And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

[Cat-Fu]

Some things are cliché for good reason! Bending down on one knee for a proposal is a cliché, but it is still very popular with those on the receiving end of it!

I can see how someone who hates surprises would be more pleased to know in advance, so it's definitely important to consider whether your family is made up of surprise lovers or haters, OP!

Lowspark, when I said "unpleasant things" I was referring to Adelaide's comment about it being unpleasantly shocking, not saying that wanting advance notice = unpleasant! I'm sorry if it came out that way!

[TheaterDiva1]

Barring logistical issues, I think it's a great idea!  Reminds me of that Folgers coffee commercial they show during the holidays where their adult son, who had moved out, snuck into the house on Christmas morning and started making coffee.  The family comes in and sees him.  I've always loved that commercial.

[CaptainObvious]

I confess to a personal bias against these sorts of things.


And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

It may be cliché to you, but luckily their families aren't going to think this way. Glad you don't work for USO or anything like that. Maybe you should drop the topic and walk away. FAR away.

[sourwolf]

I confess to a personal bias against these sorts of things.


And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

It may be cliché to you, but luckily their families aren't going to think this way. Glad you don't work for USO or anything like that. Maybe you should drop the topic and walk away. FAR away.

Come on, is that really fair?  Toots already said she knew people weren't likely to agree with her (I don't) but she's still allowed to have an opinion.

[Girly]

I confess to a personal bias against these sorts of things.


And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

It may be cliché to you, but luckily their families aren't going to think this way. Glad you don't work for USO or anything like that. Maybe you should drop the topic and walk away. FAR away.

Come on, is that really fair?  Toots already said she knew people weren't likely to agree with her (I don't) but she's still allowed to have an opinion.

Sure she's allowed to have her opinion, and I'm allowed to be one of the people to disagree with it.

If anyone in my family that is overseas fighting came home for Christmas, I would not give a crap how cliché it was, I would LOVE to see them, and be so happy they were home, safe, with me.

[sourwolf]

I confess to a personal bias against these sorts of things.


And I'll also confess--the "soldier surprising his family" is just not new anymore. It's become a cliché. I was watching a video of such a surprise that was done at a football game, and I thought, I'd have been mildly annoyed.

It may be cliché to you, but luckily their families aren't going to think this way. Glad you don't work for USO or anything like that. Maybe you should drop the topic and walk away. FAR away.

Come on, is that really fair?  Toots already said she knew people weren't likely to agree with her (I don't) but she's still allowed to have an opinion.

Sure she's allowed to have her opinion, and I'm allowed to be one of the people to disagree with it.

If anyone in my family that is overseas fighting came home for Christmas, I would not give a crap how cliché it was, I would LOVE to see them, and be so happy they were home, safe, with me.

And, if you read my posts in this thread (including the one you quoted) you'd understand that I also disagree, I just think there are polite ways to disagree and rude ones and that Zoltar was unreasonably harsh in her reply.

[Amava]

Some things are cliché for good reason! Bending down on one knee for a proposal is a cliché, but it is still very popular with those on the receiving end of it!

With /some/ of those on the receiving end of it, maybe.
Not with everyone. I personally would either be offended or just laugh, or both, if someone tried a  "proposing ceremony" with me. (But I'm already married so I don't have to worry about it.)