I Don't Care About Your Child.

[Mental Magpie]

Because I *do* think that in a group, for a subset to get *really* involved in a convo that's of definite non-interest to one of the members is not really polite. Whether that's the 3 Star Wars geeks talking about Klingon, and the 1 non-sci-fi fan watching; or the 3 people with an interest in kids going on about kids, and the 1 not-interested-in-kids person watching.

A little is OK--a lot is not.

Well, I don't recommend spending one's social time walking up to groups already in conversation, and announcing "This doesn't interest me, talk about something else, please!" At most, the outsider needs to find a way to divert the topic, "Oh, yes, I remember doing that when I was a kid in Topeka - Oh, have you heard about the latest scandal with the City Council there? It's shocking, I tell you...."

Demanding that people talk about something that is of interest to you, rather than trying to find something that will interest them, is very snowflakish.

(I wouldn't recommend trying to discuss Klingon with the Star Wars fans. It might not go well.)

Unless you know they're Trekkies, too. 

[LeveeWoman]

I wish I could think of things to say at the time.   

Maybe just go with an icy glare?

[gramma dishes]

...    She annoys DH too. She called him an idiot when he disagreed with something she said about me. 

She prefaces most rude comments with "I don't mean to be rude..." DH used to cut her off with "Well don't say it then..."

She sounds like a most unpleasant woman.  I can't figure out why you (anyone in your group, not just you personally) continue to include her in your activities, much less your conversations.

[TootsNYC]

Whether that's the 3 Star Wars geeks talking about Klingon, and the 1 non-sci-fi fan watching

My poor eyes.  Words that should never be used together.

oops! Can I use the excuse that I was tired? ( don't Star Wars geeks usually like Star Trek too?)

[TootsNYC]

...    She annoys DH too. She called him an idiot when he disagreed with something she said about me. 

She prefaces most rude comments with "I don't mean to be rude..." DH used to cut her off with "Well don't say it then..."

She sounds like a most unpleasant woman.  I can't figure out why you (anyone in your group, not just you personally) continue to include her in your activities, much less your conversations.

Probably because the group has gathered at a local pub, and this woman walked up to join the table.

I'm betting few people actually invite her to a gathering in their home.

[Mental Magpie]

Whether that's the 3 Star Wars geeks talking about Klingon, and the 1 non-sci-fi fan watching

My poor eyes.  Words that should never be used together.

oops! Can I use the excuse that I was tired? ( don't Star Wars geeks usually like Star Trek too?)

This one does!

[bloo]

*deleted 'cause I can't read good*

*but I want to learn to do other things good too*

OT, but just wanted to say I love Zoolander too!

(What IS this?! A center for ANTS?!) 

[bloo]

I wish I could think of things to say at the time.   

Have some in your pocket that you've already practiced (in front of the mirror, DH, your mother, etc). Seriously.

Some of the responses on this board pop out of my mouth reflexively now.

Think of it as verbal karate, where you have to practice your kata until the moves are reflexive WHEN YOU NEED THEM! It really works.

[Hollanda]

Bloo I love that idea!!!!! 

[snowdragon]

I don't care how much you dislike kids - announcing that you don't care about someone's loved one is rude - no matter what the loved one's age is.


 I think rude woman needs a good slap with the clue by four.  I do have a question tho' did anyone make any attempt to include her in the conversation or even acknowledge her when she walked up. Not that it would make her comment acceptable, I am just wondering.

[Hollanda]

We do. We ask what she's been doing...usually the answer is "Nothing much." Then she starts disparaging someone for some perceived slight.   

[Moray]

Rude woman was undoubtedly rude, but I wonder if her comment was a preemptive strike against your former mommy-jacking habits. She may not realize yet that you've modified your behavior. I'd probably stick with a confused look and say "Okaaay...that's nice. I was talking to Friend, though." and then move right along with your conversation.

[snowdragon]

Tome the Op's past behavior doesn't make one iota of difference - you simply don't say "I don't care about your loved one" to anyone.   Even if someone is dominating the conversation with talk of their loved one there are other ways to gently move the conversation on.  Saying "I don't care." is not the way to do it though.

[cass2591]

"I wouldn't have brought it up but Helen ASKED about my son. I was speaking to HER."

very rude of the other person, wow. Good thing she is NOT reproducing.

First of all, child-free may mean she doesn't have kids now. It may mean she doesn't want kids ever. The point is you have no idea how she feels about children in general. It was a rude thing to say and she should have kept her mouth shut. If she didn't want to listen to Hollanda then talk to someone else.

[Hollanda]

Darned right Cass. See, this woman is not one I socialise with. Just about every time I've been to Rosie's (the pub) and she's been there, she's irritated me. Really upset me at times. When now DH and I went just after getting engaged, she sniped about my engagement ring. Something along the lines of DH wishing he had a better paid job!!!!! My response was not eHell approved.  Liz was working behind the bar (she has done since we've known her! 6 years!) and asked her to either be nice or take her money elsewhere.  She shot me cold looks all evening. DH was livid and I was fuming.  She's not well liked. Most people tell her to button it and maybe I will now join them. I choose to go out for a good time and a sing. Not to be bullied by her.

I personally don't know if she'll have kids...she appears to.me to be beyond that time of life. I may be wrong. But I do know that if she did turn out to somehow have a child (fostering etc) the i would be happy for her and it wouldn't enter my head to say I didn't care. It wouldn't anyway, even if the conversation was mind numbingly boring to me. It's hurtful, dismissing and rude, rude, rude. Spine polishing in progress.